I just spent the afternoon drawing some rapid-fire art. And it got me to thinking; a lot of the bloggers I was following a year ago are no longer blogging. [You know who you are.] Seems like people just up and quit blogging, and do so just as they were starting to get successful at it. Now I have no idea of what constitutes success in the blog-o-sphere. Maybe it’s the number of comments you get on a post, or the number of subscribers you have. Gotta follow blogs to have bloggers follow you, that’s just basic.
When I first stated my Hallucinations (the blog). I followed a lot of guys who blogged about blogging. Their goal being, that at some certain point they were gonna start making money on-line blogging. Sounded cool to me. Just sit around the house all day cranking out bullshit, and get paid for it.
Well, I’m no Pioneer Woman, cause I haven’t made a dime. So rather than just quit, like so many do, I decided to sell my blog. Yep, Hansi’s Hallucinations is now for sale. But wait, before the bidding starts, check out what ya get. Not only do you get all the crap mentioned in the drawing below: wit, humor (sometimes laden with a shit-load of sarcasm), Art (the best part), but wisdom (miss-spelled in the drawing) from an old guy who’s heard it all, and is sick and tired of bullshit. Having spent 30 years in Corrections hearing it, dealing with it and cranking it out on a regular basis; I’ve become an expert in the field.
“But Hansi”, some may say, “You are Hansi’s Hallucinations”. Well no shit, and I’m glad most of my readers (who come along in the deal) are not a bunch of dumb turds; had my fill of them in Probationland. See, when you buy Hansi’s Hallucinations, you buy Hansi too! Yes Sir! I’m selling myself. And if you keep me properly medicated with stacks of drawing paper and an abundance of ink pens nearby, I’ll crank out blog posts for ya all day.
I figure a starting figure of $250,000 US Dollars would be fair, and more than adequately supplement my lavish (just above poverty level) government retirement. And if you act now, I’ll even come to your house to begin. You just gotta supply the pens , paper, a nice chardonnay (no cheap shit!) and possibly a cigar or two, and I’ll just plop down in your living-room in all my unshaven, flannel shirt wearing splendiforous glory, and get right to work. Oh yeah. You’re gonna need a good stereo system: I’ll bring the music and even some of my special herbal refreshments that help me draw so well.
Ladies, don’t worry about The Wife. She won’t mind. She’s had so much of a good thing with old Hansi, that she’s near unto overdosing on me; like when some of your best medicine turns toxic on ya, and makes you paranoid, or wanna run to the fridge and eat everything inside. [You have to keep a well
stalked stocked fridge too! Cause sometimes I get the screaming munchies, and that’s not a force ya wanna recon with.]
So think about. Remember, with the Hans, not only to you get a renaissance response in nonchalance, but ya also get a schwance 🙂