Sometimes I get a great flash for a title, and then have to dream up a bunch of filler for subject matter. Well, Food Fornication was as good as it got one night while listening to the Doors. Grossly inappropriate? I prefer to think I have a rich imagination: food with a sex-life. First thing I thought about was serving meals in provocative poses: German sausage smothering in sauerkraut served on a sliced bun. But in a moment of clarity, I got to thinkin’. Hell yes food has a sex-life When we eat it, most of our food is dead, but before we killed it, food was screwing its brains out.
My garden is full of plants pollinating and being pollinated. Even bees join in for a three-some of fun. And meat. You better believe meat was sexually active. If it wasn’t, we would’ve run out of animals to consume a long time ago.
I’m a liberal kinda guy, and really don’t mind if my food had sex or not. I just don’t want my food fucking me. Food is supposed to make you healthy, nourish your body, and not make ya sick. But there is a major American agricultural giant, we”ll call it Monsanto, that is involved in some major food fornication, creating genetically modified organisms (GMO’s), that like Doctor Frankenstein’s monster are creating all sorts of problems. This isn’t like breeding plants and creating hybrids. It’s screwing with a plant’s DNA, splicing certain genetic characteristics into most of the corn, soybeans and sugar beats grown in the USA.
Here’s where it gets a little crazy and starts to make me paranoid. These plants are genetically modified to be resistant to herbicides, while containing a protein of Basilius Thuringiensis (a naturally occurring bacteria which causes paralysis to the digestive tract of certain caterpillar/worm-like insects). Sounds good for the farmer. He can spray his crops with Round-Up herbicide (made by Monsanto), grow plants (seeds courtesy of Monsanto) that will kill pests upon eating, but not save seeds for next years crop because Monsanto owns the intellectual property rights to those seeds and will sue your ass for doing so. [I thought God owned all the intellectual property rights to His creation, but I guess Monsanto bought Him out.]
Some would say, and the “experts” assure us, that there is no harm in eating GMO foods. Maybe so, but I’d encourage you to checkout the Non GMO Project and decide for yourself. But any plant that can withstand one of the most powerful herbicides around, and be poisonous to bugs is not something I wanna put in my body. Monsanto can go screw itself, not me!