mind expanding nonsense

Archive for December, 2020

Solstice 2020

Boy am I ever glad the winter solstice of 2020 came off okay December 21st. I was worrying there for a while. Most of 2020 has sucked and been a series of botched-jobs by those in charge. But that old sun came through like an American election – without a hitch, rather than crash n burn like a Trump lawsuit alleging voter fraud. Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if the Sun didn’t comeback from its recent descent? Yeah…there’d be a lot less sunburns and skin cancers, but your electric bills would’ve gone through the roof if it was dark all the time; not to mention the cost of all that fossil fuel we’d need to keep warm. Sure glad there’s some things ya can still count on in this life.

Getting High

Some of you that have been following this blog, or have accidentally browsed my Archives may have wondered: “Hansi, Do you smoke pot?” And I’d have to truthfully say, rarely…. I prefer to use a vaporizer when I inhale cannabis, but what I really like is drinking it. “Drink it?” You may be thinking, “now we know you’re a stoner; ya can’t Drink marijuana”. Oh yes you can! All ya have to do is grind-up about three grams of your favorite herb (‘White Widow’ is mine and, something The Wife claims I’m turning her into by enjoying weed) place it into a double boiler with a 32 ounce box of Coconut beverage heat it up to 180 degrees for an hour and Wowie Zowie you have your own homemade “edible”, or should I say drinkable. In India it’s a wedding day favorite, they call it Bhang.

Using cannabis in old age is great. Ya feel good, all those aches and pain are gone (or forgotten) and ya don’t wake-up the next day feelin’ like shit with a red wine headache – just a good nights sleep. “Hey Hansi…That sounds pretty good but aren’t you afraid you’ll get addicted and have your life go down the tubes?” HELL NO! It’s not a ‘gateway drug’ which leads to harder drug use. That’s like saying pizza is a gateway food to obesity. Hmm. It’s pretty hard to have just ‘one slice’: usually it’s so good I end up polishing off the whole box (wonder if that’s why I’m getting fat?). But that’s totally different and a ridiculous comparison.

I’m not advocating drug use for seniors, although feeling mellow, relatively pain-free and happy is not a bad thing when you’re in your 70’s. I do add a disclaimer: If you have an addictive personality or are working a recovery program, Don’t use mind altering substances. Everything in this country is going straight down the shitter and you don’t need to spiral down with it.

So…What’s it like drinking pot? Well, there’s no coughing and sore irritated throat. It usually takes about an hour for your system to digest it and your liver (versus lungs) to get it into your blood stream. Then it just creeps up on ya. One might find themselves in their recliner listening to oldies then find yourself singing along and tapping your feet euphorically. There’s a wave of relaxation that travels down your body topped-off with a general feeling of well-being. Some times I wander into the computer room where The Wife is playing Spider Solitaire, and comment on something outta the blue. She often asks, “Have you been smoking pot?” Whereupon I respond, “Why no Sweetheart”. “I drank it,” I say to myself as I leave the room and put the headphones back on.

Small Vices

I’m not talking about miniature clamps, but rather indulgences of a questionable nature, which brings you pleasure. Nothing heinous, out-right perverse or illegal, but something to lighten your load (I’m not talking about having your adult diapers changed for ya). For me it’s having a mixed drink every night. Yeah,,,hard liquor, and not the cheap stuff, I’m talking about drinking the good shit: aged Bourbon, Irish Whiskey and hand-crafted Tequila and Vodkas. Okay, you may be thinkin’ right about now, “Damn…Ol Hansi’s an alcoholic”. But in truth, I’m not an alcoholic (“sure Hansi, that’s what all alcoholics say”). Really I’m not. I just have one drink a night (“another thing all alcoholics say”‘). Really I do, and I’ll tell ya why. Ya gotta control your vices or they’ll control you. I know (and boy do I know) that if I have two drinks or more, I’m gonna feel like shit the next morning. Ain’t Gods punishment. Just and old body that takes longer to recover. Plus, as a probation officer for 30 years, I’ve seen the down-side of Addiction and want no part of it!

The thing is, a little “hi-ball” before dinner sure seems to mellow me out and make everything that follows tolerable; even Cable ‘News’ (I’ve been watchin’ way too much of that shit lately). Watching the news nightly is really depressing, that’s why I enjoy a drink. Takes the edge off. [I bet a lot of my “Senior” brothers and sisters are surviving this Covid thing by becoming half-drunk every night]. The thing with alcohol is: used in moderation it can be beneficial, used in excess…devastating. Sure blows a hole through the theory that “If a little is good, a lot has got to be better”.

Don’t Over Do It!

You’ve no doubt heard that saying about “over doing a good thing”. I’ve never understood that, cause if something is a “good thing” ya wanna do it as much as possible, versus of course “bad things”, which naturally you wanna avoid. That’s why I try to do all my favorite things as much as possible. Problem is, if I do it a lot, it tends to get boring and somehow magically turns into my least favorite thing, which I want to delay, put off or altogether ignore as much as I can. Perhaps “goodness” is only temporary and wears off quickly.

Blogging Is Like Letting Farts In A Small Room and Nobody Complains About The Stink

Okay. I’ll be the first to admit that all my drawings of late pretty much look the same. I mean how many variations can ya make on a sausage shape? The thing is I’m not try to break new ground here, let alone create a “masterpiece” or achieve artistic success. Nope… my ambition is to solely (soul-ie) enjoy the process. Therein lies the fun, the focus, the ease of mind by being totally absorbed in the present moment of the right side of the brain. When I say right side of the brain I don’t mean the correct side of the brain versus that evil, election stealing, socialist left side. God forbid! That would be going off the deep-end with a glass of Kool-aide in hand before you leap. Talk about being a True Believer’. I was one once, and the power that a belief system can have over an individual is all encompassing. There are no options, everything is black and white (that’s why I add color), you’re either with us or against us, and all the important choices will be made for you. Don’t question anything; you’re just a worthless hunk of junk in need of salvation. Sweet Jesus spare me from this insanity.

The title of this post came from The Wife, who never reads this blog, only casually looks at my drawings and generally thinks all I’m doing is spreading filth over the internet. So how’s that for a flatulence filled room?

I’m Beginning To See Visions Of Sugarplums Dancing In My Head

That’s a sure sign of one of two things: I’ve obviously had way too much medication this evening (unlike other evenings when I’ve had ‘just enough’ and commence to sit down and draw and write blog posts, but that’s more then people need to know, and, it’s giving away trade secrets), or, Christmas is getting near. Watching Hallmark Christmas movies since late October is another sure-fire indicator. As is the fact that the days are getting shorter (but still 24 hours long – go figure that one out), it’s cold outside and…. the Winter Solstice is little over a week away. The Winter Solstice or “sun stood still” is a three day period beginning December 21st, when we have the three shortest days of light during the year, and the sun appears to stand still on the horizon before it begins its highly anticipated ascent into the heavens. Hasn’t failed us yet, but keep them tithes and offerings coming.

Knowing when the earth stops tilting on its axis and wobbles its northern pole back closer to the sun, was sure helpful to my ancient pagan ancestors (the ones after the Neanderthals) in figuring out a lot of stuff. Like when winter will end and they can start wearing summer clothes again and get rid of them stinky ol’ furs (and ya know they never took baths back then so everybody stunk…stinking heathens). It was such a big deal back then that they celebrated the sun’s return annually, and usually with a fair amount of drinking and fornication, gift giving too. It was like, “Okay the sun didn’t sink into the earth and eaten up, let’s party!” Sounds good to me! The Romans did it, and called it Saturnalia in honor of Saturn, the god of agriculture. [Didn’t wanna piss-off agriculture gods back then.] I wonder why they did that every year? An excuse to party? Or did they think they somehow helped the sun return by debauching themselves? Seems to me that after a few solstices you could pretty much figure out that it’s a done deal, and like the American election, rigged (as some way) so the big guy always wins.

Enjoy this holiday season, I will and am just about to start decking my halls with bowels of howling. 🙂

We’re Doomed! But The End Is Near

Whoa, or should I say Woe. Is it just me that’s scared shit-less, or is this Corona Virus totally outta control and smiting us like a plague of locusts? Seems like everyday it gets worse. Los Angeles is closed for business, as is almost the rest of my home-state California. It’s getting so bad that CNN is streaming its running death toll score-box not as a daily count, but ‘so far today’. Are we gonna set a new record today? Thank you CNN, MSNBC and the rest of the media for keeping the paranoia level nice n high.

Well… and I do hope that all of you are well, despite living in a dystopian science fiction movie, there is something one can do about it. And in my opinion it’s following the directions of somebody who actually knows what the fuck they’re doing, like the medical profession. I know…Who wants to be a sheep and mindlessly go along with the flock? ‘I got my rights don’t cha know. I wanna be free!’ But somehow I don’t think that shit’s gonna fly this time around. I might have to do my least favorite thing to my most favorite thing: Delay Gratification. I’m gonna have to remain diligent with masking and social distancing, avoiding all indoor gatherings as much as possible. Maybe if I try to practice patience (another least favorite virtue) forbearance and self-control (can totally live without that one) things will work out fine and this too shall pass.

Snuggling

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Coping

Hoping and coping, avoiding the downward sloping. No time for groping, hey, what have you been smoking? One thing is for sure. If ya wanna survive in the plague ridden Trumpian dystopia we’ve been forced to live in, ya gotta improve your coping skills. That doesn’t mean buying the best booze available or the most potent weed at your local dispensary to get by. Nope. Alcohol can work its magic temporarily, as will cannabis, but in the end I only feel shitty after drinking, and weed makes me paranoid, which is a Major side-effect in this scary-ass world we live in.

I thing coping entails dealing with change. Accepting change, not resisting change and letting go of the things that have been changed. I can’t go to the gym anymore: too risky, and it’s closed anyway. Can’t have friends over for a dinner party: also risky. Can’t travel; way too risky. Can’t go to bars and hear live music: that’s a petri-dish of infection just waiting to happen. But…there’s a lot of things I can do. I can ride an actual bicycle on actual streets and not remain stationary. I can have friends over, just outside, weather permitting. And if I wanna hear some music, I can pick out one of my live albums (Big brother and the Holding Companies’ “Cheap Thrills” will do it). Don’t have to be in a crowded smoke-filled room with a bunch of obnoxious drunks to have some fun. I can get drunk and be obnoxious in my own living room, and maybe even have a toke or two. Life is still good.

Intentionally Left Blank

Every month I get a big wad of crap mailed to me from my Medicare provider. It takes them four pieces of paper, written on both sides to tell me I don’t owe them any money. That’s eight pages of writing which includes a page and a half listing all the different languages from Tagalog to Cambodian they provide interpreter services for. Sometimes it only takes then seven pages to fill me in, leaving page eight blank. But they can’t just leave page eight blank, they feel compelled to tell ya it was left blank intentionally. Well any fool knows that if something is left blank, it was left blank cause there was no writing on it (a no-brainer). Not leaving well enough alone (I think that’s their standard for health care – ‘You’re well enough”), they gotta print the obvious, thereby negating their blank page, totally undoing its blankness. Why are they lying to me? What are they trying to hide. Sounds like BAD intention to me. Sounds fishy. There’s a good conspiracy theory in there somewhere. At least that’s what some people say.

Well I’m well enough to not leave this page alone, so I filled in some of the blanks.

There’s Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to feel better about the future and see a light at the end of this dystopian plague-laden tunnel we’re in. Not the light that appears before ya die and your supposed to go and be absorbed into where all things are wonderful and filled with blissful peace and warm fuzzies. Seeing that light pretty much means you’re dead, or dam close.

I’m feelin’ good because the long waited Shit Show has failed to materialize: Civil War hasn’t broken out. The streets aren’t aflame and filled with rioting. The election was the most secure ever (what happened to the Russians?) All the claims of fraud and attendant lawsuits have proven fruitless and void of fact. The President has been exposed as a bumbling incompetent leader and a pathetic sore LOSER! Dig this: A recent Wisconsin recount of a few heavily democratic counties, at the cost of 3 million dollars to the RNC, netted the President zero, in fact Biden even picked a few hundred extra votes out of the deal. The Emperor has no clothes on. Never did.

Thing is, even with this pandemic raging outta control, there is hope. Maybe I’m being overly optimistic (my herbal medication sometimes has side-effects like an overwhelming sense of euphoria, well-being and bodily relaxation), but this thing ain’t gonna last forever – the 1918 Spanish Flu didn’t – and there’s promising vaccines out there if people will take them…beware of anything labeled Trump Pharmaceutical. Things may get ever more shittier this holiday Season. Again, maybe I’m delusional, but it seems like we’re at a turning point and ‘a cure is’ on the way. I’m gonna get vaccinated for sure and follow scientific medical advice. When has Big Pharma ever let us down?

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