mind expanding nonsense

Archive for the ‘General Insanity’ Category

Smile

Although it may not seem like it at times, the world isn’t such a bad place.  The earth is still my favorite planet despite all its shortcomings. That’s why at least once a day, when the situation warrants, I try to smile.  It’s good for ya.

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Dirty Limericks

I love dirty limericks, you know, those five line verses that are usually outrageous, sometimes obscene (the funnier ones) and have witty rhymes usually dealing with one’s anatomy.  The men from Nantucket and Trent are among my favorites, (shame on you if ya know what I’m talking about).  If you’re familiar with these two, good for you.  If not, you’ll have to look ’em up on Wikipedia.  (see ribald version).

I can’t print them here cause they’re way too nasty, and this is an All American Boy (of German descent) wholesome blog.  What I did is clean them up a bit, while still hinting at their bawdy nature.  So get your filthy mind outta the gutter and enjoy.

There once was a man from Trent.

Who couldn’t afford to pay the rent

He said it was no trouble

“Next month I’ll pay double

Cause right now all my assets have been spent.”

*

There once was a man from Nantucket.

Who carried his lunch in a bucket.

When he started to dig in,

Milk exploded from a tin,

So instead of chewing, he had to suck it.

 

No Explanation Needed

Sometimes these drawings need no explanation whatsoever.  They are what they are, and they don’t need a deeper understanding (which could only lead your filthy imagination to dirty thoughts, and that’s not good).  Other times I just come up short and have nothing to say.  That’s because I drew all this stuff months ago, and have since, totally forgotten what  I was thinking about.  There are however, brief glimpses of insight when I draw and write at the same time.  That’s the best of both worlds.

October

October must have been a pretty strange month.  All I can remember is that was sandwiched in there between September and November…if my memory serves me well.   And that’s the problem.  Lately, I’ve been getting some fairly shoddy service outta my memory.  It’s always late, not dependable, and if I took it out for a drive to the desert, I’d probably crap-out and leave me stranded.

 

Chameleons

Wouldn’t it be weird if we could just walk around and change colors at whim.  I’m not talking about me turning from an old white man into an old black man.  But what if ya wanted to, based on the  environment, you had the ability to turn orange, or maybe even have blue dots all over ya.  Should, of course the situation warrant.  You’ve heard of being ‘green with envy’.   Well, if that manifested itself in diamonds, you’d know it was a bad case.

Emotions have colors.  Depression is blue.  Rage and anger is red  Cowardice is yellow, and white is pure, black evil.  The Wife often asks me why I show all my “pornographic” drawings all over the internet, “Aren’t you embarrassed?”.   Turning pink, I respond, “why no sweetheart, it’s not ‘porn’, it’s art.  And all my Internet friends say they really like it”.  Wonder what color you turn when you’re lying’ your ass off?  May be orange with yellow hair?

May June…January?

Should be May June, July.  It’s more orderly, sequential, and they follow each other on the calendar.  There’s a seven month gap in there when I didn’t visit my sketchbook.  Maybe I take my sketchbook for granted, it’ll be there, waiting for me.  Wonder if it gets pissed at me for not paying enough attention?

There is, after all, a whole world in there with a life of its own.  When my sketchbook is closed, all the drawings start movin’ around, and sometimes even go to other pages (but that rarely happens as they are usually to busy defiling one another to go anywhere else).  When I open my book, they all immediately freeze and try to pass themselves off as the real deal, but sometimes they’re just a little too slow.

Blogging and Bullshit

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I stopped blogging way back in 2015 after I started thinking that this whole blogging business is was a total bunch of bullshit.   But upon reflection – a few years later – I think it was fun bullshit. (Every thing is a matter of degrees.  There’s felony bullshit, and misdemeanor bullshit.  Mine is kinda like an infraction: you can get fined but no jail time.)  Come to think of it, this whole Hansi’s Hallucinations is bullshit.  It’s content is bullshit, publishing it is bullshitting, and it’s consumption (your part) makes one therefore, to become full of bullshit.

Anyway, all bullshitting aside, the reason I’m posting after all this time  is because I met a real-live person, who wasn’t a relative who politely checked out my blog only to find it crude and disgusting, who was a follower.  My thirty eight year old son finally got married and invited a friend who’d actually made comments and all that.  Trippy…I know.  Hard to believe that behind all that folks out there blogging, there’s a real living person (wish I would’ve know that earlier).

woman

He encouraged me to post again.  I hadn’t stop drawing, in fact I’ve been doing quite a lot, so here ya go.  While not Total bullshit, they do have an odor of steer manure.  Also don’t read too much into the subject matter, it’s just a vehicle for me to play with color, line shading and volume.  If you think I this stuff is in anyway erotic or suggestive, well…You’ve got a Dirty mind.  And shame on you for your phallic obsessions and please keep your filthy thoughts to yourself.

threesome.jpg

Oh yeah…. Sorry for using the word shit so much…it is kinda gross.  But since our President has used it publicly, especially when describing foreign countries,  I feel the door has been opened and  bullshit normalized, for he does set the standard, especially for our Youth.

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