The first thing I do in the morning, before firing up my computer, before checking my email for all them comments I’m getting, and before I click on the “Publish ” button and send another Hallucination out into cyber-space, is get a cup of coffee and do fifteen minutes of stretching on my living room floor. Then it’s off to the Gym on my bicycle where I “pump iron” (do weight training ) for 30 to 40 minutes. What a great way to start the day, all pumped up, with them few remaining drops of testosterone circulating through my system. A true natural high.
Well, as great as all that macho bullshit is, what’s even more fun, is fucking with my good old ultra conservative , right wing Tea Party buddy Mike. Instead of starting the morning with some yoga-like stretching and a meditative bicycle ride to the Gym, he hops in his car, turns on Hate Radio, and gets his morning blast of uber right-wing talking points. And boy oh boy is he ever ready to unload all that crap on some poor hapless liberal who may be working out next to him.
Well, being a hapless, but not so poor, liberal (plus socialist to boot), and on top of that, a phun-loving guy who like who likes to phuck with those in need of a good phucking; I jumped on an opportunity to push his Tea Party button the other morning.
He was on the stationary bicycle (a great metaphor for those on the right who although peddling their asses off, are going nowhere), and on some sarcastic rant about how ‘great’ (turning to shit) things are in California. When I replied from the other room, “They sure are, gay marriage is now legal again!” [The Supreme Court having just shot down the Defense Of Marriage Act as unconstitutional]. Well sure as shit, and like Wernher Von Braun shooting off a V-2 missile, that set his ass on fire and into orbit. When he said something about next you’ll be able to marry your dog, I shot back with, “Yeah, but only one; more would be polygamy” [a cheap shot at Mitt Romney and his Mormonism]. That sure ignited stage two of his rant, whereupon I said, ” I think people ought to be able to phuck anything they want”, proceeded to do my last set of curls and left with a smile on my face.
That was a great work-out. I think old Mike is still somewhere in orbit around Orange County.