mind expanding nonsense

Archive for April, 2013


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Here’s some more small drawings of what I call “Terrestrials”.  If one terrestrial is good, having a few extra is even better.  And it’s the extra terrestrials that I’m interested in the most.

Ever notice that in all the science fiction movies where earth is visited by extraterrestrials, that they are either good, and want to save mankind from itself, or thoroughly rotten reptilian slime intent on destroying the planet?  All except E T.  He just spaced-out during a long interstellar potty break, wondered off lost, and ended up having to deal with the madness of 20th century suburban living.  He just wanted to get the hell outta there and go home.

Then there’s all the space craft.  Earthy vessels are phallic in nature; rockets and April Art 005what-not; while alien ships are more feminine – think flying saucers.  The Star-Ship Enterprise is a hybrid of the two.  There’s the saucer, where everybody lives, then the two rockets that blast it into warp drive.  Kinda gives new meaning to that old rockabilly song, “I’ve got a rocket in my pocket and I’m ready to roll”.  Star Wars vehicles are just weird, but the opening shot in the first movie was sure phallic.  Reminded me of a time lapse shot of a Viagra pill kicking in.

I think if I had to travel on a space ship, I’d prefer the Star-Ship Enterprise.  Everybody had a job, wasn’t fat, did what they were told and didn’t have to make big wardrobe decisions.  Plus, it was all uni-sex.  You could hardly tell the girls from the boys, unless their uniforms were too tight and the boys’ ‘boyz’ started to show.  I bet Dr. Crusher had a hand-held device to take care of that.  Cause there was sure no hanky-panky on the bridge between officers.  The rest of the crew however, were no doubt balling their socks off, doing all kinds of kinky stuff on the holo-deck.  Probably couldn’t get high on board either.  Even though they had a replicator that could make ya all sorts of stuff, it was probably alcohol free, or un-smokeable.

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I’m going back to the journal-ling thing (ring a ding),  maybe cause I’m at the end of a sketch book. And what better way to start the end of something by a special entry chronicling  it’s completion.

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So let the festivities begin.

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It’s Art Blog Time

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The above drawing is one of my better ones, if I don’t say so myself, but it makes no sense whatsoever.  Kinda looks like a hand squeezing a dead chicken which has taken on the female form.  Maybe it’s a statement on domestic violence.  Boy did I ever deal with a lot of that bullshit when I was working in Probaionland  [ I had a caseload of 200 wife beaters; what a bunch of whiners].  Or perhaps a statement on Feminism and Women’s Equality.  Loss and letting go?  Or a new improved plastic woman with a few design flaws?  But Nope, it’s none of the above.

See, I wanna start drawing from life again, and not the life in my mind.  So, sitting back in my living room recliner (we have two: His and Hers…what a pair of geezers), the only thing that’s real in front of me, is my entertainment center with flat-screen TV.  Now everybody knows that ya can’t draw from TV!  It’s all moving too fast ( a new image every four seconds), and it doesn’t stand still.  Plus, nothing on TV is particularly real, “reality” shows notwithstanding. [TV is my chief competition when it comes to blasting out pseudo psychedelic images, with bullshit narratives].

So, what else is one to draw when their ass is firmly ensconced in a recliner, except their hand.  Cool.  Sure glad I didn’t have rash on my inner thigh that needed scratching all the time.  So I drew my left hand; sure glad I don’t have palsy or the ‘shakes’.  A nice, moderately mediocre rendition don’t cha think?.  Also sure glad I don’t have Alzheimer’s, or I’d be wondering whose hand that was.

The hand doesn’t look like it’s clenched or gripping anything…well maybe a loose grasp.  And you know I like the female form, especially without any clothes on, or better yet, naked.  And I do like things that are kinda floating up in the air, and if it’s carbonated, so much the better.  Put them all together, and that’s what ya get. I’m just dealing with line, form and color.  Any reactions or metaphorical statements that may arise, are in your mind, not mine.  I think I’m gonna call this on “Woman as dead chicken slipping through the grasp of Man”.

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I was gonna call this one “Gay Marriage”, and then go on a political rant about just how “Sacred” marriage really is, when you need a license to do it (The marriage that is, most people are ‘doing it’ before marriage these days and maybe that’s why so many end in divorce: they over ‘did it’, and used it all up), and a Court Order from a Judge to un-‘do it’.  Anyway ya look at it, some folks are making a lot of money on other folks ‘doing it’: from government agencies charging fees (regulating sex?), to lawyers and investigators looking for a way to get your ass out.  I think Gays should fully share in all this misery along with the rest of us.

But no…this drawing is about two figures and their spacial relationship with one another.  But, the thing is, I fucked up big time, and it looks like the boyish figure is poking the dyke in her boob.  More depth would have been created if I hadn’t drawn the blue figures hand over the others boob.  Maybe he couldn’t  resist it.   Are they real?  Boys will be boys.  Might as well let get married.

Hell Hounds

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Here’s a little secret.  When I sit down to draw, I usually don’t  have anything specific in mind.  It all just sorta happens.  Sometimes (but rarely) I have a flash of brilliance and a concept will pop into my mind.  Hell Hounds was one of them.  I was so taken with the phrase, that I just had to incorporate it into the drawing  above.  Sometimes I’m amazed, and delude myself into thinking I’ve done something profound.  Delusion is sure a great alternative to reality.

Getting back to Hell Hounds, the Devil sure owns a lot of property here in the United States; his name is on stuff everywhere.  There’s the Devil’s Post Piles in the California Sierras; a Devils Tower (the one in Close Encounters Of A Third Kind), the Devil’s Cauldrons, Devil’s Canyons, Baths and Gardens ad nausea, the fallen Arc Angel’s name is on anything totally worthless, barren and thrashed, god-forsaken or volcanic in nature.  That’s sure a lot of real estate.  I wonder if he owns it , or is just leasing it on a multi-millenial basis until Jesus returns?

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So…if the Devil had a dog.  It’d be a Hell Hound. Or maybe a Devil Dog?  I’ve run across a few of those in my travels.

401st Post

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How do ya follow a massive celebratory, self-congratulating, tribute to my ego, 400th Post?  Well with a 401st post.  I could have done  a 400th Post trilogy, but that’s been pretty much overdone.  What with Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Men In Black and Lord of the Ring trilogy, which was actually written as a trilogy.  What will they think of next?401 020

Lately, I’ve taken to doing small little sketches, often times doing up to three on one page.  It’s not like I’m taking a big risk with these “itty-bitty” little diddies.  Avoiding risk is paramount on my mind at this stage of life (Geezerhood), cause if I bet wrong, I can end up screwed.

And speaking about getting screwed.  Now’s not the time to jump into the Stock Market, all the euphoria about new highs notwithstanding. The economy may have the appearance of being back on its feet, but a lot of people have been left behind, and sadly, it looks like it’s permanently.  Incomes are not growing, and they say inflation is under control, despite the fact that everything one has to buy to survive (food and gasoline) is steadily going up in price.

All the announcers on CNBC (the business channel) are wildly bullish (and, wildly ultra-conservative) and talk like a new bull market has just begun.  I always thought that when it came to the stock market, you were supposed to buy low and sell high (not while high, cause that can lead to some mild disasters); not the other way around.  To me, the stock market looks high (consider the source), at least according to long-term stock charts.  While the experts are euphoric, and say: Nothing but good things lay just around the corner, or in the next quarter.401 021

Folks who bought in 2000 during the “Dot Com” bubble, had to wait 8 years to recover from that one.  Remember what he had going on in 2008?  The “Housing Bubble”.  That didn’t turn out so well.  Now we’re back to those same old highs, but this time it’s a different “high”, a “Liquidity Bubble”, being artificially support by our central bank: the Federal Reserve.  The thinking is: Money  has nowhere to go except into US stocks.  Banks sure ain’t paying savers squat on C D’s and money market accounts. And the Almighty Dollar is the king of currencies, while gold plummets. But don’t be fooled.

And speaking of fools, have you ever heard of the “Greater Fool” theory of investing?  You know that the Stock Market ain’t like going to WalMart, where all the stocks (mostly made in China) are sitting on a shelf just waiting for you to buy them at a discounted price. Nope, it’s basically an auction: for every buyer, there’s a seller.  Smart Money (which often times buys a lot of dumb shit), buys low, and sells to Stupid Money, when stocks are high (buy low – sell high…but not under the influence).  The Greater Fool theory states (and I’m a fool for great theories):  Buy high, and sell to the fool who is willing to buy even higher.  That assumes that there’s a lot of dumb-shits out there just waiting to get fleeced.  That’s why the “Experts” are encouraging everyone to get into the Stock market.  What they fail to say is: Once everybody is in, there’s no more buyers left, and stocks will fall from lack of buyers.

Well, all I can say is, they ain’t gonna fool me.  Or as The Who said, “I won’t be fooled again”.

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My 400th Post

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It’s really no big deal.  My 100th was.  Blew my mind that I cranked out one hundred Hansi posts.  Well, that was a lot of water under the bridge, or effluent on it’s way to the treatment facility.  Either way, 400 posts is a lot of raw waste being spilled out into cyber-space.  [Unlike Mother earth, I think cyber-space can handle it though.]

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Anyway, it has now become a tradition that I blow my own horn when I hit a century mark.  I did it for 100th, 200th & 300th posts, so I’d be letting down a lot of folks by not doing it for my 400th….Toot!   The blog-o-sphere is the perfect vehicle for obsessive-compulsive behavior.  And it’s full of it: posting daily, keeping up with comments, committing to doing a certain challenge each day for 30 days, all that crap.  There’s no end to it all, and that’s what’s cool about compulsive behavior…there’s no end in sight, no shortage of shit to do.

But I don’t want to over do it, or brag.  So I though I’d just post a few carefully selected random drawings, and let them speak for themselves.

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This was gonna be my BIG 400th post extravaganza, but in light of what occurred yesterday, I though I’d forgo all the self adulation, and post this drawing that I did last night.

What a F***ing Blow Mind!  I woke up yesterday after my usual noon-time nap, and turned on the Business Channel, to find that not only was the stock market down over 200 points, and the price of gold fallen over $100 an ounce, but some shit-head(s) blew up the finish line at the Boston Marathon.  A bad day for all concerned.

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And what a tragedy!  Not only in loss of life and property, but for all of those who trained for this event, had great hopes of accomplishment, all to end up with a DNF (did not finish).  I’ve run three marathons in my life (hated every step), and believe me, it takes a lot of dedication and long weeks of high mileage running to get in shape to finish.  All for naught so some ass-hole(s) can make a statement on Patriot’s Day/ Tax Day.

Well as awe-full as this whole thing is, the media sure as shit took no time in cranking up the Paranoia Machine to 10.  Being very careful to call it “Terror” but leaving off (for now) the “izm”.  Sorry for being such a cynic, but one of the first things that shot to mind was, “Time to invade Iran”.  Hopefully that won’t happen.  But as former President George Bush said, “Fool me once…shame on you.  If ya fool me, ya can’t fool me again.” [Should have been, “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me”].

Well, no doubt we’ll learn more as this investigation continues.  And no doubt there’s a couple of armed drones awaiting the culprits.  I just hope that we don’t hear a big rush to war, should it be some Arab terrorists who are responsible.  As The Who said, “I won’t be fooled again”.

Phallic Phantasies

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I was laying awake one morning, early, and trying to go back to sleep, when a great title for a recent series of drawings came to mind.  Bummer is, I had no content to go along with this brainstorm, and didn’t want to write about anything sexual in nature.  Although Nature is loaded with sexual content, because everything is busy fucking their brains out trying to reproduce itself.

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Good thing old Mother Nature made procreation such a pleasant endeavor, there wouldn’t be so many of us around if it were a painful process.  The pain of child birth keeps things in check.  Just Mom’s way of saying don’t enjoy it too much.  Maybe giving birth is a form of birth control itself [twisted logic time].  I mean like, if I had to give birth, I’d certainly be thinkin’ that all this procreating stuff is gonna be placed on hold for a while.

As far as phallic fantasies goes, I’ll leave those up to you.  Maybe some of these drawings will screw with your mind a bit.

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Hansi in a Nutshell

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Okay….More and more there’s a growing disparity between the artwork I’m posting and what’s being written on this blog.  So I decided I’d clarify matters so there wouldn’t be so much confusion about what you’re getting when ya stop by here for a quick hallucination, or “Quicky” as I like to call it.  I’m sure you’ve all had quickies before.  They usually occur when ya don’t have the time for a “longie”, so they’re very fast in nature.  That don’t mean they lack quality, it’s just that the quality is concentrated and over with quickly.  Which in some cases is a good thing, especially when the quickie is against your better judgement, but still deemed worth a shot anyway.  Quickies also require very little thought, are impulsive in nature, and often times come back to haunt ya.

So, that’s what ya get when ya impulsively stop by here for a hallucination. The difference between the drawings and my narratives are:  drawing is drawing, and writing is writing.  They’re two different things.  If I wanted to talk about what it’s like being in a nutshell, instead of just drawing a picture of me sitting in one, I’d probably have to mention it often times has a rough interior, and how it could scratch one’s ass sitting inside, or worse yet, inflame a big pimple ya had ripening back there, and wind up with an ass infection.  But obviously I’d prefer to write about “quickies” and how having one could come around and bite ya in the ass.Late March 008

This is obviously a drawing/art blog, so long narratives are unnecessary, as my skills lay more in figurative works than literary works.  Kinda like Playboy magazine was in the 60’s and 70’s.  Folks used to claim that Playboy often times featured really good articles and stories.  I never read one.  Everybody I knew who picked up a Playboy, was busy opening that centerfold and checking out who Miss August was.

The articles were just filler, so people wouldn’t think that ‘readers’ weren’t just  a bunch of filthy perverts who were interested in boobs, but rather filthy perverts who were interested in literature too.  It’s like the story of author Kilgore Trout, whose work was only published in porno magazines.  Great literature, that no-one ever read.  How’s that for filler?

The Boy With The Badly Drawn Left Leg

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I don’t know what happened.  But I sure didn’t get my proportions right when I drew this poor turd.  It’s not his fault.  He was born that way.  If ya gotta find fault, blame it on genetics.  He was probably blessed with a bad combination of genes and damaged chromosomes.  Speaking of which:

What a bunch of absolute horse-shit that big lie of the sixties was: You can damage your chromosomes if you used LSD.  Give me a break!  Introducing chemically engineered substances into your body can never hurt ya.  The Government wouldn’t allow it!  The Government just doesn’t want ya to use drugs.  Mainly because, like Iraq, Afghanistan, possibly soon, Iran, and oh yeah maybe North Korea, we got a war going on with drugs too.  But only Un-Approved drugs, which can have adverse side-effects. Approved drugs are good for ya, and make life better.

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That’s why I wanna try every drug I see advertised on TV.  All the folks taking them seem happy.  Especially the couples that take them.  Yep, they have drugs for couples too.  Funny thing is, both people don’t have to take them to enjoy the benefits, only the man.  And that seems to make the woman happy as hell.  Maybe she’s just so glad that her man has finally taken his medicine, that she starts showing him extra attention, and even starts to get a little affectionate in gratitude.  You can just tell that something good is gonna happen as a result.  Maybe like a trip to the spa where they can luxuriate in separate tubs.

Sounds good to me. Better living through modern chemistry.  What could go wrong?

On A Roll

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It’s amazing what one can accomplish when ya do something everyday.  I do a lot of things everyday; The Wife wishes that personal hygiene were one of em.  But I’m not talking about the mundane stuff ya gotta do to survive.  However, I have found that brushing one’s teeth after every meal to be beneficial.

Well, drawing has been one of my almost daily activities for a while now.  Mainly because I have an outlet for them…this blog.

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Unfortunately, while on a roll with drawing, my writing has taken a short-term nose dive.  I usually don’t write about what I’ve done drawing-wise.  I mean, how much can ya say about ink and colored pencils?  Anyway, I prefer the contrast between the drawings and what’s written.  Kinda like getting two for the price of one.  Or better yet….three!

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Thinking Small

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All the drawings in this series are no more that 3 to 4 inches in size.  Pretty small for a piece of art, unless you’re into miniatures.  I’m not particularly into miniatures (or mini-chairs for that matter).  I guess it’s just a rebellion against the THINK BIG crowd.  [I know that’s shouting when it comes to Internet etiquette, but I had to do it to make my point.  Hope it didn’t hurt your ears].

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Anyway….We are constantly being encouraged by many self-help gurus, to think big, think outside the box, to expand our horizons.  Sells books, but little else.  Right now, I’m as good as I’ll ever get, so I don’t wanna have to think, and the only thing I wanna expand is my consciousness a bit.  But not that much.  A little is sometimes a lot better than a lot.  So ya never wanna “over do” anything, but  something ya do “over and over”, that’s  okay.  But over and over doesn’t mean constantly!  You can’t do the same thing constantly.  If ya did, it wouldn’t be okay, cause it would no longer be ‘over and over’, but just the same old thing… all the time.

That’s why ya gotta take a break between activities; to keep em fresh.  Henceforth, hereto-with and from now on notwithstanding, I’m doing tiny, wee little drawings.  If ya wanna see em a wee bit bigger, just click on them and they’ll magically enlarge.  Hey…having my wee, wee drawings enlarge by a few inches could be a good thing.  They say size does matter.

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Short-Term Memory Loss

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Here’s a few drawings that have little in common, for which I have drawn a blank when it comes to a narrative.  Maybe I’m suffering from a little short-term memory loss.  If so, the above drawing pretty much illustrates what I’m going through.  Not that Short-Term Memory Loss (STML) is such a bad thing; sure helps me in my drawing.  See, when I’m suffering from an especially good case of STML, everything looks new, and  no longer looks like the Same Old Shit (SOS) that I’ve drawn over and over again, so I can create and  explore the complexities of what’s being put down on paper.  Pretty cool…until I remember, “Oh no, this is the SOS”.

Well, I’m not alone in all this senior dementia.  There’s a whole political party out there that has STML, and hasn’t woken up to the fact that they: 1) Lost the election!!; 2) Had their policies soundly rejected; and 3) Had their candidate and what he stood for, trounced by the public.  In addition, their economic policies created the worst recession since the Great Depression, and wars that have lasted a decade! [You’re goddamned right I blame it on Bush]. But yet they persist with the same tired dogma that has proven not to work, while appealing to fewer and fewer persons.  Thank God for STML, lets ya keep doing the SOS. So, governmental grid-lock persists and the world’s only ‘super power’ manages to stay afloat form one self imposed crisis to the another. Go figure.

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