mind expanding nonsense

Archive for April, 2019

Fleecing The Flock


In my ongoing attempt to avoid watching cable TV news in the morning while pedaling my ass off on a stationary bicycle at the gym (talk about going nowhere fast),  I’ve taken to watching TV evangelists, with the hopes that instead of starting my day totally pissed off, it might be better to start with a more positive attitude.  Problem is, as lofty and syrupy sweet some of them sound, or as positive ‘let God do it for ya’ do others, they all have one thing in common.   They all want your money!

Most of the “Prosperity Preachers” (see my post Peddling Prosperity, which I’m not linking as it’s too much work and which you can easily look to your right and see; why do I have to do all the work?), after inspiring your to place all your trust in God, end their shows with a pitch to purchase even more inspiring material for donations to their ministry.  Being on TV ain’t free, and some one has to pay for it.

The worst of the lot are those who’ll send you literature for free.  They’re thinking long-term, and from my own personal experience, want you to get hooked, become a member and start “tithing”.  If ya don’t know what tithing is, blow the dust off the cover of your family bible and check-out Leviticus 27: 30 and Numbers 18: 25-28. [ If you don’t have a bible you can always steal one from the next motel you stay in – nobody will notice].  Tithing was basically a national form of taxation for the ancient Israelites; a way to finance their temple-state form of government and all the priests that ran it. [Wish my tax-bracket were a mere ten percent].  Why is it that Jesus did away with all that old testament stuff, except except tithing, which a lot of his representatives feel is still valid today?

Anyway…sounds like someone is getting ripped-off.  Many of these folks have a multi-million dollar net-worth.  If your minister/TV evangelist is driving a better car than yours, guess who’s paying for it.  If he or she has a better wardrobe and dresses in more expensive cloths than you, guess who’s payin’ for that.  If they live in a much bigger and better house than yours, guess who’s paying the mortgage.  Seems likes someone is getting rich on my dime.

I once made out a check to God and sent it in, but it was never cashed.  Guess nobody had proper I.D.  I’ve found that the next best, and most equitable thing to do when making an offering is to take all you money outdoors and throw it up into the air.  God will take what he truly needs, and what falls back to earth is yours. [This method does work as well on windy days, when instead you should use coins.]

All the above of course doesn’t apply to Hansi Ministries.  I gladly accept all free-will offerings: cash (Dollars Pounds Euros and Pesos – I live in Southern California) checks, money orders, credit cards,  Pay Pal and Bitcoins.

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