mind expanding nonsense

Save The Best For Last?

Should you always save the best for last?  This is really part two of my last post (not the last post I’ll ever do, but the post prior to this one): ‘This That and the Other Thing’, which brings into question whether one should save the best for last.  A climactic finale of goodness which surpasses all else before.  Desert is a prime example.  How many dinners have you suffered through only with the hopes that a fine desert would redeem the crap ya ate before?

But if something is really good, why wade through a bunch of pallet ruining entries.  I’d rather scarf it down first!  That’s certainly true of wine.  Ya always wanna drink the good shit first and save the swill for last when you’re half wasted and can’t tell the difference and it’s of little consequence.

And speaking of consequences, looks like our beloved President of the United States (our best one ever) is gonna get his ass impeached.  This whole Ukraine thing is getting sleazier by the day.  What a swamp.  I hope decent people like you and sometimes me are getting sick and tired of this reality TV world we live in and yearn for a day without Donald.  Maybe Impeachment is a last resort.  And there you have it.  Saving the best for last can be a good thing.

There’s always This and That, usually a binary choice with no shades of gray; black and white only.  An additional choice would be nice now and then.  That’s why I prefer the Other Thing.  Kinda broadens the field, spices things up a bit.  This and That are locked in solid.  They ain’t goin’ nowhere.  The Other Thing is more pleasing, even desirous, if you further define Other Thing.  Which is needed from time to time, to keep it from becoming That Other Thing.  Don’t want that (or this frankly).

The Other Thing takes a lot of pressure off of This and That to maintain it’s superiority complex world-view, which is adversarial in nature: “I don’t wanna be like That” or “I don’t wanna be like This”.  The Other Thing merely muses, “Hmmmm”.  I learned long ago that life is more than This or That.  It’s like going to a buffet style restaurant as a kid.  Your parents made ya take some of This and some of That and a little bit of the Other Thing.  I always saved the Other Thing for last cause it was the best part.



It’s Art Blog time!  In the early daze days of this blog I used to do a lot of pencil drawings.  Mainly because The Wife had reams of good quality paper, and pencils were cheap.  Also, you could erase stuff easier than with ink and colored pencil.

Recently, if you can believe the dates signed on them*, I’ve taken to pencil once again (still the same ol’ phallic-like subject matter) and forsaken color.  It kinda reminds me of TV in the fifties: all black and white.

* Seems like ya can’t believe anything now-a-days.  Things are so polarized that when one side claims it has the truth, and it sounds plausible, the other side fires back claiming “That ain’t the truth.  It’s bullshit, and a hoax to boot.”  There’s no right or wrong, just what’s expedient, will satisfy the share-holders, and serve ones own interests best.



God, Jesus and Superman

When I was a little kid, it was common knowledge that the three most strongest people in the world were God, Jesus and Superman.  God of course had to be number one, He was God after all and created everything.  Jesus was God’s son, so he had to be number two.  Having grown up in the fifties, and having watched every episode broadcast weekly on TV, Superman was the obvious third.  He didn’t have any supernatural powers like God and Jesus, but he could leap tall buildings at a single bound, was faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive.  Best of all, he was American, and fought for truth, justice, and the American Way (which was the best way goin’ on back then, but not so much anymore, Some are trying to make it great again, but actually turning it into a shit-hole).

Superman was real!  Sure God and Jesus are real, but in a pretend kinda way.  They were too far away, up there in Heaven where they couldn’t be seen.  Superman was real, you could see him every week.  [ Do you ever wonder what God and Jesus talk about up there in Heaven?  I bet not much.  With all those prayers they gotta answer, it must get pretty noisy, what with millions of people asking for all kinda stuff; think celestial Amazon fulfillment center.  That would drive me nuts!  I would also wager, that Jesus is getting pretty antsy and more anxious to return to earth and clean things up.  They see global warming and climate change coming, and know that if things continue along this path, there won’t  be any people left to worship and pray to them.  Then what?  Are they just gonna hang it all up and write-off earth as an experiment gone bad, or will They just start all over again.  If They do, I’d suggest they make all people the same color, and forego the foreskins this time around.]


Dirty Mind

These objects aren’t what you think they are, and if you do think they are, then you’ve got a dirty mind.  Some  people think I have a dirty mind, especially those that stop by this blog and look at my drawings.  They may be right.   The Wife definitely thinks I have a dirty mind, as did a lot of the girls I dated in High School.

Ever since I was a little kid, anything involving flatulence, self-defecation and barfing always tickled my funny bone.  The really funny shit usually always centered around a rip-roaring fart.  If there was sexual innuendo, all the better.  Guess I was just an all American boy.

I think everybody has a bit of a dirty mind.  And that’s not a bad thing… getting connected to your inner-filth can be very enlightening, when not scaring ya to death.  All stuff forbidden is worthy of a snicker.  If it’s frowned upon it’s worth investigating.  If it’s illegal… I’ll pass.  Don’t wanna break the law, cause that stuff goes on your permanent record. [I won’t even go on about that pedophile Jeffrey Epstien and how for once money was not able to save the rich and  powerful when caught with their pants down.   May he find eternal rest in a moderately low realm in Hell.]

Well. I better go and wash my mouth (and mind) out with soap.

Fleecing The Flock


In my ongoing attempt to avoid watching cable TV news in the morning while pedaling my ass off on a stationary bicycle at the gym (talk about going nowhere fast),  I’ve taken to watching TV evangelists, with the hopes that instead of starting my day totally pissed off, it might be better to start with a more positive attitude.  Problem is, as lofty and syrupy sweet some of them sound, or as positive ‘let God do it for ya’ do others, they all have one thing in common.   They all want your money!

Most of the “Prosperity Preachers” (see my post Peddling Prosperity, which I’m not linking as it’s too much work and which you can easily look to your right and see; why do I have to do all the work?), after inspiring your to place all your trust in God, end their shows with a pitch to purchase even more inspiring material for donations to their ministry.  Being on TV ain’t free, and some one has to pay for it.

The worst of the lot are those who’ll send you literature for free.  They’re thinking long-term, and from my own personal experience, want you to get hooked, become a member and start “tithing”.  If ya don’t know what tithing is, blow the dust off the cover of your family bible and check-out Leviticus 27: 30 and Numbers 18: 25-28. [ If you don’t have a bible you can always steal one from the next motel you stay in – nobody will notice].  Tithing was basically a national form of taxation for the ancient Israelites; a way to finance their temple-state form of government and all the priests that ran it. [Wish my tax-bracket were a mere ten percent].  Why is it that Jesus did away with all that old testament stuff, except except tithing, which a lot of his representatives feel is still valid today?

Anyway…sounds like someone is getting ripped-off.  Many of these folks have a multi-million dollar net-worth.  If your minister/TV evangelist is driving a better car than yours, guess who’s paying for it.  If he or she has a better wardrobe and dresses in more expensive cloths than you, guess who’s payin’ for that.  If they live in a much bigger and better house than yours, guess who’s paying the mortgage.  Seems likes someone is getting rich on my dime.

I once made out a check to God and sent it in, but it was never cashed.  Guess nobody had proper I.D.  I’ve found that the next best, and most equitable thing to do when making an offering is to take all you money outdoors and throw it up into the air.  God will take what he truly needs, and what falls back to earth is yours. [This method does work as well on windy days, when instead you should use coins.]

All the above of course doesn’t apply to Hansi Ministries.  I gladly accept all free-will offerings: cash (Dollars Pounds Euros and Pesos – I live in Southern California) checks, money orders, credit cards,  Pay Pal and Bitcoins.

Peddling Prosperity

Just about every morning I go to the Gym.  And after some moderate strength training (weight lifting),  I spend 30 minutes literally pedaling my ass off on a recumbent stationary cycle which has it’s own little TV.  Normally I’ll watch cable news, stuff like CNN or MSNBC, or if I really wanna raise my heart rate, FOX.  But all that does is piss me off, so a few days ago I went channel surfing, while pedaling, and watched televangelist Joyce Meyer.

Wow!  What a show!  A sixty year old woman with painted lips like the Jokers, telling  everyone that God wanted you to go on an adventure with Him, and that He’ll solve all your problems and even reward you financially because He preferred to see the righteous prosper more than the wicked.  All ya needed to do to start was one of her books, which she’ll gladly send you for a love offering of $30 (or more).  Doing so would result in blessings ten times over, and there would be no stoppin’ ya then.

As warm and fuzzy all this feel-good shit sounded, a couple of things kinda didn’t sit right.  As I recall from Sunday School, Jesus talked about the poor being the ones who are blessed; not to lay up treasures on earth; how it’s easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God; and  giving away all that you have to the poor.  Secondly, Paul said women should remain silent in church, and that it was “a disgrace” for them not to do so.

Well, times have changed, and what did Paul and Jesus know about Christianity anyway…they were Jewish.  What she, and others, like folksy sincere Joel Osteen, are preaching is the “Prosperity Gospel.”  And boy oh boy are they gettin’ rich.  Ms Meyer has an estimated net worth of 25 million dollars; Osteen around 40 mil.  This got me to thinkin’…God don’t want me just barely getting by on Social Security and a piddly-ass small county pension.  He wants me to be rich!

So ol’ Hans is now fleecing servicing the flock with his drawing ministry.  You too can enjoy the uplifting drawings that will bring you closer to God (and your financial goals) with a faith offering of $30 (or more).  In return, you’ll receive a personalized, digitally anointed Hansi original.  Just leave your credit card number, with expiration date and security code, in the comment section below, and you’ll be just a short copy and paste away from your adventure in faith with Hansi and all his inspiring artwork.

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