mind expanding nonsense

Hansi For Sale

I just spent the afternoon drawing some rapid-fire art.  And it got me to thinking; a lot of the bloggers I was following a year ago are no longer blogging.  [You know who you are.]  Seems like people just up and quit blogging, and do so just as they were starting to get successful at it.  Now I have no idea of what constitutes success in the blog-o-sphere.  Maybe it’s the number of comments you get on a post, or the number of subscribers you have.   Gotta follow blogs to have bloggers follow you, that’s just basic.

When I first stated my Hallucinations (the blog).  I followed a lot of guys who blogged about blogging.  Their goal being, that at some certain point they were gonna start making money on-line blogging.  Sounded cool to me.  Just sit around the house all day cranking out bullshit, and get paid for it.

Well, I’m no Pioneer Woman, cause I haven’t made a dime.  So rather than just quit, like so many do, I decided to sell my blog.  Yep, Hansi’s Hallucinations is now for sale.  But wait, before the bidding starts, check out what ya get.  Not only do you get all the crap mentioned in the drawing below: wit, humor (sometimes laden with a shit-load of sarcasm), Art (the best part), but wisdom (miss-spelled in the drawing) from an old guy who’s heard it all, and is sick and tired of bullshit.  Having spent 30 years in Corrections hearing it, dealing with it and cranking it out on a regular basis; I’ve become an expert in the field.

“But Hansi”, some may say, “You are Hansi’s Hallucinations”.  Well no shit, and I’m glad most of my readers (who come along in the deal) are not a bunch of dumb turds; had my fill of them in Probationland.  See, when you buy Hansi’s Hallucinations, you buy Hansi too!  Yes Sir!  I’m selling myself.  And if you keep me properly medicated with stacks of drawing paper and an abundance of ink pens nearby, I’ll crank out blog posts for ya all day.

I figure a starting figure of $250,000 US Dollars would be fair, and more than adequately supplement my lavish (just above poverty level) government retirement.  And if you act now, I’ll even come to your house to begin.  You just gotta supply the pens , paper, a nice chardonnay (no cheap shit!) and possibly a cigar or two, and I’ll just plop down in your living-room in all my unshaven, flannel shirt wearing splendiforous glory, and get right to work.  Oh yeah.  You’re gonna need a good stereo system: I’ll bring the music and even some of my special herbal refreshments that help me draw so well.

Ladies, don’t worry about The Wife.  She won’t mind.  She’s had so much of a good thing with old Hansi, that she’s near unto overdosing on me; like when some of your best medicine turns toxic on ya, and makes you paranoid, or wanna run to the fridge and eat everything inside. [You have to keep a well stalked stocked fridge too!  Cause sometimes I get the screaming munchies, and that’s not a force ya wanna recon with.]

So think about.  Remember, with the Hans, not only to you get a renaissance response in nonchalance, but ya also get a schwance 🙂

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Comments on: "Hansi For Sale" (35)

  1. I see. Are you serious? I’ll bid a buck. Let’s turn this into an auction. Do I hear 2?

    • Glad ya liked it. Good thing ya didn’t ‘shit your pants’ while rolling on the floor.

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  2. Good luck Hansi.

  3. Can’t manage 250,000 dollars & all that Chardonnay. How about 5 pound sterling, all the tea you can drink and a packet of biscuits?

  4. I’m with Russell. I’ll throw in another pack of biscuits with a jar of jam and your favorite CD or something.

    • You got him beat. It’s the “or something” that I’m interested in 🙂

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  5. I now understand where the hallucination stuff came in. I would bid but right now I’m so broke I can’t even “pay” attention.

    • Been there! Sometimes if it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

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  6. I don’t know about the entire package but whadda ya want for some of that special herbal refreshments that help you draw so well?

  7. I really liked your blog.Really thank you! Want more.

    • You sound like Spam to me, but maybe you’re just someone goofing off at work, and rather than just sit around with your thumb up your ass, decided to brighten your day with some Hansi. Guaranteed to lower your blood pressure.

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  8. Let me get this straight. I pay $250,000 for the privilege of having you sit around in an altered state producing art. You probably don’t even clean your room and leave the house when you turn 18. A teenager sounds like a better deal!

    • Well…you’d certainly get a lot more energy, not to mention higher testosterone levels, with a teenager, but not the worldly wisdom.

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  9. How bout a half-drunk bottle of semillon and a cupboard full of acrylics and oils, barely used? Got to do your own cooking though.

    • Sounds tempting, but aren’t you way over there in Australia? Air fare ain’t cheap. 🙂

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  10. You have a fabulous imagination hansi

  11. I watch the bidding from afar, and then swoop in. When is the bidding deadline?

  12. $250k us – well the way the australian dollar is going that’ll be $100 aus pretty soon, i might even buy it then .. until then you’re dreaming 😉

  13. Hehe blogging for money would be a good job Hansi. You never know. Maybe one day 🙂

  14. I don’t think I could handle another herbal boho mumbling around the place and spilling ink and ashes all over my art – I’m already beside myself. How about we all chip in and pay you to stay put? Do you accept pesos?

    • If you’re beside yourself, I’m right there next to ya. No offers so far 🙂

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