I had a thought the other day. You know, one of those fleeting moments when something pops into your mind and you think it’s the most terrific thing since sliced bread and you ought to pursue it. Sadly, that thought was followed by another more compelling vision, and I forgot what the first brain storm was all about. That happens to me a lot. But one of em that wasn’t forever lost in the bottomless pit of short term memory loss, was the one I had about retirement advice.
I don’t know if I’m pushing all the geezer buttons on my computer, or if there’s a demon inside the machine that knows my every thought, but when I go to my Yahoo home page, up pops a shit-load of articles on retirement, all of which are designed to scare the hell outta me. Stuff like:
10 Financial Mistakes To Avoid In Retirement.
That’s a whole lotta screwin’ up to be made in retirement. It would be like obeying all of the ten commandments all the time. Only Jesus was able to do that, and he didn’t even live long enough to retire. I wonder if even thinking about making a mistake would be a financial sin?
4 Best ways To Jump-Start Your Retirement Savings
Thankfully there is something one can do, but the odds favor me fuckin’ up more than jump-startin’ my way to financial success.
The Large, Hidden Cost Of Retiring Early
Well, I’m screwed there too. I went out ten years ago at age 57 and took Social Security at age 62. I don’t know how much it cost me cause I was thinkin’ I was gettin’ free money from the Government. Wonder what they’re hiding?
You Need 2.5 Million To Retire
Come up a little short there too. How would 2.5 thousand do?
10 Reasons You’ll Never Retire
Number one has got to be: I ain’t got 2.5 million. Way short on that one! Another is wishful thinking, like working longer before ya retire. Work will kill ya way before you retire.
Social Security: 1 Number Every Retiree Needs To Know Right Now.
That’s a no-brainer. It’s 62! The age when you can get on that government gravy-train and start receiving benefits.
Why “I’ll just worker longer” is not a good retirement Plan
That’s obvious! The longer ya work, the shorter you gonna be retired. Everybody knows that, because working til ya drop dead is not retirement, it’s death, and ya skip over the good part of retirement: Not Working.
Seems like all these articles have one thing in common. MONEY. And most of them are sponsored by groups which want to make money off of you trying to save enough for retirement. You never see articles from Fidelity Investments like: “10 ways to tell you’re burned out and can’t stand working anymore”. They are all generated to generate paranoia in You, so you’ll sent Them your money.
My retirement advice is : Don’t listen to retirement advice., even mine.