Don’t cha just love that term? So descriptive. A great euphemism (having nothing to do with euphoria) for an irritant, or something you’d rather not do. I rarely suffer from pains in my ancient ass; generally, all my aches and pains are from the knees down. But sometimes, things cause my buttocks to boil. Having to go to work everyday was a major pain in the ass. Now it’s having to do a bunch of chores around the house before The Wife jumps in my shit, that’s a pain.
It’s funny how ass pains, although located in the same area, can take on a variety of forms, from a variety of causes. About a year and a half ago, The Wife and I decided to remodel our fifty year old kitchen. So we went through the whole number. From floor to ceiling, everything new. Even added a dishwasher, a great machine for relieving ass pains. Thank god that’s over and done with.
But the problem is: Home remodeling is like a highly contagious disease (Herpes and Gonorrhea come to mind), which spreads like wildfire. That doorway from the dining room we had widened, well, that left a big space of newly plastered wall exposed, which in-turn made the 30 year old wallpaper that was separating at the seams look like hell. So, while staying in the general vicinity, my ass-pains migrated from the kitchen (right cheek) to the dining room (left cheek).
Well, like deja-vu again, once more our house was sectioned off with plastic sheeting and drop-cloths, with construction guys who liked Mexican music, moving walls around. Nothing like trying to watch your favorite day-time shows with power tools blasting away. But thankfully, it’s done, and lookin’ good. And the good part about ass pains is, they’re transitory in nature and don’t last very long. Unless you’re still working full-time.
Post Script: Actually, the dining room job turned out well, and has inspired me to move on into the living room (another chanker sore flaring up), which needs a paint-job desperately. I found that by breaking the dining room job in to small tasks, and taking my time with, that it was totally doable. Gone, are the days of trying to do a major job like that on a weekend because ya gotta go to work on Monday.