The Blog-O-Spear part 2

If you haven’t read my first post on the blog-o-sphere, read it! All this crap will make more sense that way. You don’t go right to the end of the book when you first get it? Do you? OK then; in summary: we’ve been conditioned to crank out bullshit all day since grade school, and only find retirement satisfying if we’re cranking out bullshit.

So this blogging thing has turned into a whole new world, and my Hallucinations have been in included. Despite all the chaos in Blogistan, there does seem to be some method to all this madness (think Hatter, no angry). And that is: to get as many views or hits on your site as you can. Everybody is goin’ round commenting on other blogs, in the hopes that they’ll get people to see what they’ve cranked out. [Old Hansi will plead ‘no contest’ to that one.] I make a post. You make a comment; I respond to your comment. I check out your site, as you check mine. We all check out everybody else, and end up in one huge daisy-chain of people yakking their heads off in order to be herd.

Some sites are really good,like the Cantankerous Old Coots who certainly share a lot of my views ( pun intended). Others offer real help on dealing with retirement issues like what do you crank out, when you no longer crank out bullshit all day? [Seriously, that’s a big one for a lot of folks and a normal phase one goes through upon first retiring.]…….Back to the fun. So why all this trafficking in Yak? To increase readership. One would think ya wanted more than family and friends just reading your stuff and thinking you’re a pervert. Nope. You want to increase your readership so you can Cash In. Make Money…Get Rich….cranking out bullshit all day. How to do it is the hard part. Advertisers are not beating down my door to place their products in front of my twelve avid followers.

But here’s my scam business plan. And I’m focusing on the retiree market: (1) Send me your Social Security check….(2) I’ll spend it on a night of debauchery, and (3) give you full credit in the morning on my blog. On whatever Wednesday of the month you get your check, immediately sign it on the back, add Payable to Hansi, and send it off to me. I promise to spend most of it on a night of unbelievable passion, and the best bottle of Two Buck Chuck money can buy. Plus, You’ll get the actual Polaroid photos I take, in a handsome plain manila envelope, with a personal message from me; I’ll even wave the usual $8.99 shipping and handling fee. In addition, if you are not totally satisfied, and not basking in the vicarious glow of how much I embarrassed myself in your name, I’ll give you a 60 day money back guarantee; and refund your money after 60 days… [Escrow should have closed on my Mexican Villa by then.]….If you act now, I’ll even throw in the cork.

I’ll be waiting at my mailbox,