mind expanding nonsense

The Blog-O-Spear

I’m new to this whole Blogging thing, and have only been doing it for two months now. Basically I’m an analogue type of guy time-warped into a digital world. I’ don’t own a cell phone (too much like electronic monitoring for my tastes). I don’t have a Face Book page and don’t “Tweet” on Twitter. I always thought of a “tweet” as a fart that snuck out, and not an off-hand comment you hope someone will read. Maybe there are similarities.

So, next to Germany, the Blog-O-Sphere is the strangest place I’ve ever been. The Internet is full of people yakking their heads off, and people yakking back. Now, I too am yakking my head off; and diggin’ it!

It got me to thinking: What is with this Blog craze? And how did so many retiree’s get involved? The place is filled with Boomers talking about everything from their god-damned cats to financial advice.

Well if you’re 60 or older, you’ve had 50 years of behavioral conditioning taking place on your ass, without even knowing it. It started with the educational system, where perfect attendance was rewarded, and truancy or showing up late punished (sometimes with a Probation Officer on your case). From K to 12, you were trained to sit at a desk all day in school, and crank out bullshit [the only good parts were recess and lunch]. So….If ya did it really well you could go to college where the cranking out of bullshit took on a more compulsive tone. If ya did well in college, (but didn’t go on to graduate school where the cranking out of bullshit hit obsessive compulsive levels), you could get a “good job”, where you sat at a desk and cranked out bullshit all day.

That’s what I did. First in a Welfare Agency, and then with Probation. “But Hansi, weren’t you helping people?” Kinda. But I often had to crank out a lot of bullshit before I could do anything for them. Besides, helping people wasn’t really the mission of these public agencies, It was: every body, on three….^……^^…..^^^..Cranking Out Bullshit.

I wasn’t the only guy who did this all day. I was at the Gym talking to a guy working out and asked him what he did. He replied, “I crank out bullshit all day” “Wow” I said, “Are you a Probation Officer too?” “No”. He was a “educator”, but we were both in the same line of work.

So what does this have to do with the Bog-o-sphere? Classic Pavlovian conditioning! It seems that there’s hordes of retirees out there; and how are they finding fulfillment and meaning in retirement? By cranking out bullshit on their Blogs. That’s what I doing. I have an old bedroom that has been converted into an office/snoring refuge. Got a desk, office supplies, my papers organized….the whole nine yards. I do miss the clerical girls and donuts.

This is gonna have to be a two-parter. Cause I’m really into cranking it out today, but don’t want to challenge anyone’s attention span. Look for my next post, when I tell ya how I’m gonna cash in on all this bullshit.

To Be Continued…..

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Comments on: "The Blog-O-Spear" (14)

  1. Welcome, to the great nation of Blogistan!

    Nice drawing 😉

  2. Once again the baby boomers are taking over. If I was young enough I would join the counter revolution.

    Us old fogies don’t deserve to inherit the earth, look what we’ve done to it.

    John
    Leamington Spa, England

    • Thanks John. With that, you are well on your way to making 40 quality comments a week (I do remember what I’ve read on your blog). Hansi followers would be well advised to check out John’s blog: http://johnmcnally54.com Interesting commentary on a variety of subjects, but mostly about beer drinking of late.

  3. Your sister Heidi said:

    I, too, spent 40 years cracking out bull shit, but, as an educator, I prefer regarding myself as a stand up entertainer with a selective (captured) audience.

  4. Hansi,
    I too have found new meaning and new opportunities to spread the bull in the blog-o-spear. It is way better than work ever was although at times I thought I had the best job in the world. I was wrong, of course. Sanity returned after a time.

  5. Welcome to the world of the retiree bullshitter Hansi, there’s enough crap being churned out by us guys to keep us all occupied until the grim reaper calls.

    It all takes the mind off pissing problems, ED, lack of poontang with young maidens, etc, etc.

    We have much in common, I hate BS, greedy financiers, the incompetant arseholes in power and most things modern.

    You have a great sense of humour (UK spelling) too.

    Bill

  6. While I don’t directly create the bullshit… I’m a bullshit enabler, allowing to reach far and wide… that maybe worse?

    • The former Probation Officer in me would encourage you to seek out a Bullshit Al-Anon group to deal with this problem.

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