Poop Bags

I was sitting on my front porch one Sunday afternoon, watching a family ride by on bicycles, followed by a 50ish couple on mountain bikes, and started thinking: “I live in a very pleasant neighborhood.”  There was a garage sale four doors down, and a lady walking her very small dog across the street.  Well, the bicycles went by pretty fast, reminding me that all things are transient in nature; always in a state of change.  So…I started tripping-out on the lady and her tiny dog, watching her stop under a neighbors tree, and just seem to be take in the present moment.  How joyous!

The problem is, when one starts to interpret events, in stead of just seeing them as they are: woman stopped walking, one is not fully present observing all things in harmony.  Well, why woman stopped walking, was because her little pooch was Taking A Dump!  Shitting on my neighbors lawn.  Boy was I glad she choose to walk on the other side of the street.  I don’t want no dog shit on my lawn. Cause you could step in it, and drag it into the house, only for everyone (The Wife) to wonder how long it’s been since I last bathed.   And me getting pissed, because, not only did I get it on my shoes (everybody knows hard it is to clean that off dog -do), but streaked it across the carpet I just steam cleaned the day before.

It’s amazing how fast emotions can change from joyful bliss, to anger and rage, and then to an attitude of thankfulness.  Which brings us to the title of this post.  After the dog pooped, the woman took out a green plastic bag, placed her hand in it, and after wiping the dog’s bum (much less crass than saying ass), picked everything up, (wipe included) and removed her hand: poop contained.  Lucky her, I thought, she gets to walk home with a hot sack of shit.  The evil side of me wished she’d had a Saint Bernard.

Boy am I ever glad they invented poop bags.  Wonder if there’s a market for doggie toilet paper?  When I was working out at our local Juvenile Hall, I had to use ‘poop bags’.  Actually, latex gloves, for when I had to “pat-down” minors, or conduct room searches.  You didn’t anything they had, on you, and were always careful to remove the gloves from the back forward.  Didn’t want to be taking a hot urine sample form a hepatitis C laden drug addict bare handed.

So I’m a big fan of doggie poop bags.  Only downside I can see is if ya stick it in your purse and forget about it for a couple days, or stop by a neighbors for coffee (like Ethyl and Lucie), and accidentally leave it in their front  closet where you put down your things.