mind expanding nonsense

Poop Bags

7-14-13 002

I was sitting on my front porch one Sunday afternoon, watching a family ride by on bicycles, followed by a 50ish couple on mountain bikes, and started thinking: “I live in a very pleasant neighborhood.”  There was a garage sale four doors down, and a lady walking her very small dog across the street.  Well, the bicycles went by pretty fast, reminding me that all things are transient in nature; always in a state of change.  So…I started tripping-out on the lady and her tiny dog, watching her stop under a neighbors tree, and just seem to be take in the present moment.  How joyous!

The problem is, when one starts to interpret events, in stead of just seeing them as they are: woman stopped walking, one is not fully present observing all things in harmony.  Well, why woman stopped walking, was because her little pooch was Taking A Dump!  Shitting on my neighbors lawn.  Boy was I glad she choose to walk on the other side of the street.  I don’t want no dog shit on my lawn. Cause you could step in it, and drag it into the house, only for everyone (The Wife) to wonder how long it’s been since I last bathed.   And me getting pissed, because, not only did I get it on my shoes (everybody knows hard it is to clean that off dog -do), but streaked it across the carpet I just steam cleaned the day before.

Bad case of love 002It’s amazing how fast emotions can change from joyful bliss, to anger and rage, and then to an attitude of thankfulness.  Which brings us to the title of this post.  After the dog pooped, the woman took out a green plastic bag, placed her hand in it, and after wiping the dog’s bum (much less crass than saying ass), picked everything up, (wipe included) and removed her hand: poop contained.  Lucky her, I thought, she gets to walk home with a hot sack of shit.  The evil side of me wished she’d had a Saint Bernard.

Boy am I ever glad they invented poop bags.  Wonder if there’s a market for doggie toilet paper?  When I was working out at our local Juvenile Hall, I had to use ‘poop bags’.  Actually, latex gloves, for when I had to “pat-down” minors, or conduct room searches.  You didn’t anything they had, on you, and were always careful to remove the gloves from the back forward.  Didn’t want to be taking a hot urine sample form a hepatitis C laden drug addict bare handed.

So I’m a big fan of doggie poop bags.  Only downside I can see is if ya stick it in your purse and forget about it for a couple days, or stop by a neighbors for coffee (like Ethyl and Lucie), and accidentally leave it in their front  closet where you put down your things.

a sack of shit 002


Comments on: "Poop Bags" (27)

  1. Yay for poop bags, yes.

    • Keeping the streets (and lawns) clean. Maybe there should be a national Poop Bag month.


  2. Use a sandwich bag they are cheaper than those made especially for poop…..

    • Good idea, but no room for mistakes for those of us with short-term memory loss.


  3. You have way too much time on your hands today.

  4. Have tipped off the cliff of sanity here. Restart mode.

  5. In Sydney they even have special dog shit bins!

  6. poop bags. I never walk my dog without one. 🙂

  7. Love the illustrations:)

  8. I can’t stand the idea of dogs pooping in my yard or scooping anything of that mess into a poop bag. I’m just glad the cat from across the street doesn’t leave any remnants besides fur.

  9. I’m confused. Millions of years of evolution, opposable thumbs and a hyper developed frontal cortex and the end result is that we get to pick up animal shit and carry it around.

  10. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    I don’t leave home without a bag in hand. I’ve been known to harangue dog owners for walking away from poop, which is an unconscionable act. I live across the street from the beautiful foothills and you’d be horrified at how many dog owners don’t pick up the poop. I bet a lot of them complain about cigarette smokers and cig butts. Ridiculous.

  11. No matter the method, at least the lady cleaned up the mess! Plus, she also gave you the idea for this post.

    BTW – we’re your ears itching yesterday? Well … something about my latest Satire Bits. http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/on-satire-bits-vol-66/

  12. Love that you are NOT one of the 40% of Americans who DON’T pick up after their dog!

    There are much more hazards besides bringing home the mess and germs – did you know the whole issue on dog poop and water pollution?

    If you never want to worry about running out of poop bags again, check out http://www.poopbuddy.com for bags delivered to your door, especially with the plastic bag bans in certain California counties!

    • No sir! I’m one of the 60% that poop in bags; it tied to my waste. Get it ….waste 🙂


  13. geezerpussrex said:

    Subscribe to Los Angeles Time home delivery and, rain or shine in sunny California, they bring the news each morning in a plastic bag suitable for poody poo encapsulation. It’s poetic justice that we’d exchange journalist excellence for canine treasure.

  14. I like to pick which entry to read based on the title. It never disappoints… ^^

  15. Wetwipes are excellent for wiping the animal’s bum. They are also excellent for cleaning the greasy hood over the cooker. And all general household cleaning. I cringe whenever I see people wipe baby’s faces with them.

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