Note: This is one of my early posts from over two years ago. Yeah I know that’s cheating; kinda like re-blogging someone else post except it’s your own. So, some of it is dated, but the rest is brand new, especially if you’ve never seen it before, and are not just spacing out with acute short term memory loss.
There’s a new term out there that I hate; Oops, extremely dislike (I’m not a Hater), that appears to have come from Wall Street. “Take A Haircut” is the latest euphemism out there to cloud and defuse the true meaning of what’s really going on. Take A Haircut basically means: suffer a severe financial loss. Such as in: “Investors in Irish banks may have to take a haircut in order to deal with the solvency problems facing the Nation.” Read: you’re gonna lose your money. It used to mean that one would Get A Haircut in an attempt to look better, a relatively painless experience. Women Have their Hair Cut; but when it comes to unwanted facial or bodily hair, have a Wax Job. Now this makes hair removal a more painful experience, especially if you’re having a Bikini Wax. (I guess a well pruned hedge is preferred to an over-grown bush). Furthermore, if someone is taking a haircut; that means someone must be giving the haircut. And you can bet your bottom dollar that the giver, tonsorially, is gonna have less hair removed than the taker. To advance clarity in the language, I think this expression should be scrapped in favor of something a little more explicit, after all it is your money we’re talking about. “ We gonna “Wax Your Ass” pretty much tells it like it is in my opinion.
While I got a good head of steam goin’, there’s one more term I can’t stand: “Off-load”. Although not used so much today, “Off-load” was quite chic amongst the Yuppie crowd a few years back, and most often employed while listening to soft jazz or New Age music. Give me a break! There’s either Load or Unload, not On and Off Load. What a Load of shit. And speaking of load of shit, proper usage is “I’m gonna unload a pick-up truck full of shit and put it my garden”, not off-load a pick-up full of shit. Now there are appropriate variations of the word load. Down-load and Get a load I find acceptable: “I’ve Down-loaded some funny ass shit ” or “ I got Loaded on some really good shit”, are good examples.
Well. These are just a couple things that really bug me. I don’t mean to Un-load on you, but rest assured, I’ll never Off-load on you.