Bummer

Well it’s back to sixties nostalgia words today. And the word for today is Bummer. Cool word I know. AND highly descriptive. What got me on to this whole trip is I’ve been feeling “Bummed-out” lately. The European debt crisis, the political circus that’s going on in the States, the economy, throw in Christmas and all its pressures, and maybe that’s why I’m Bummed.

The word bummer got it’s start in the sixties and was basically a druggie term describing an unfortunate situation like: “Hey man, I scored some weed. Got any papers and matches?” “No!” … “Bummer”. [Something similar to that actually happened to me when I was at the Lutheran College during the sixties. Some buddies came up to visit me and they were ‘holding’. Problem was, nobody had any Zig Zag papers. But not to fear, no bummer here (hey that rhymes). Being a good Lutheran boy, I got out my Bible, ripped out a page (from the concordance only; I ain’t no blasphemer), and, Holy Smoke, everybody was happy].

Or it could describe a bad hallucinogenic trip wherein ya had the shit scared out of ya. Like a massive hallucination that you were sent to Hell for rolling joints with pages of the Scriptures. Now here’s another real, true actual bummer, that happened to one of my Probation clients. He was getting high on Cocaine at home, and having done way too much, started to get a little paranoid. Well a ‘little paranoid’ behind some coke is kinda like being ‘a little pregnant’ cause it takes on a life of it own and starts freaking you out. Well our hero started hearing voices. And he determined those voices were coming from his attic (the one with the extremely small crawl space); and that these voices were burglars getting ready to rob him. So what does Mr. Einstein do? The fool calls 911. The police arrive shortly thereafter; find no burglars, but do find my boy under the influence of drugs, and subsequently arrested his ass. Now that’s a BUMMER.

Now if you live in the UK, or one of its affiliates. Bummer means a homosexual man. Go figure that one out. [Maybe it’s like when ya go to a club and easily pick up this “much too hot for you chick” at the bar. And when you decide to consummate this new-found relationship in the bathroom, you find out she’s really a He!… a Bummer… What a bummer]. They do call butts bums, kinda like they call their Moms Mums. And if there’s  bums, there’s got to be buggering. Wonder if English lesbians are into muggering? Anyway, this ain’t about that.

Maybe you’d want me to pursue that theme in true Hansi fashion. Butt I’m not gonna do that. Bummer, I know.

A prolonged bummer can lead to one being “Bummed Out”, and that’s how I’m feeling right now. Think other folks are feelin’ that way too. Maybe it’s Christmas. But that’s the most joyous time of year. I should be decking the halls with balls bowels boughs of holly. Whatever that entrails. But I don’t feel like it. Bummer. I sure wish Christmas could get simpler. Like when they gave Jesus gold, frankincense and mere. But damn, gold is near $1700 $1600 an ounce, and at those prices that sure don’t make for an impressive inexpensive gift.

I think I know why I’m Bummed, and not by some buggering bummer. I bummed because the days are getting shorter, it’s getting dark earlier. And it’s cold! Everything is dying or more correctly going dormant. Winter is coming on, and that sure cramps my Southern California lifestyle. But hey, that’s not a bummer. It’s just time to get into the true spirit of Christmas: the Saturnalia, and other winter solstice ceremonies. That old sun of ours ain’t gonna fall off the edge of the world. If we party hard enough, we’ll convince it to come back! Worked before. Got to work again. Those ancient people weren’t that stupid were they? Hell no. They had good unions back then and got three paid days off to indulge in some wholesome revelry and debauchery with their families.

Maybe things aren’t really that bad after all. Newt isn’t going to be our next president. The economy will, eventually, get better (always has). And if the people pull their heads out of their asses, they’ll wake up. That’s no bummer.

Well that’s my Christmas message. The big day is just around the corner, and I got some serious debauchery I’ve gotta catch up upon. Happy Holidays