Life is pretty good here at the Hallucinatorium. All is well and nothing is pissing me off. No, I didn’t find just the right amount of ‘medication’ to take daily. Although taking ones medication daily sure goes a long way in keeping a proper perspective on things. Everything is just OK. No problems. Stopped watching MSNBC and the news. More into gardening and an occasional fishing trip with my fellow retiree, (but still working part time in the Education House of Pain), Buddie Jock. Even the House of Pain as morphed into an Annex of Minor Annoyance.
But nobody wants to read about that. Folks want drama…rants…funnies and other generally weird shit. And speaking of weird shit, I came across the above drawing, probably done while over medicated, and figured, There’s a story in here somewhere. Hence, the Story Of Forceps Boy:
Like all potential super heroes, Forceps Boy came from a solid mid-western family, that was only mildly incestuous. Mom’s ten month pregnancy put a strain on the family, not to mention all their cousins who wanted the child named after them. Boy’s arrival was not without incident, and proved to have been an omen of things to come. He didn’t want to leave that warm, hot-tub they called a womb, and despite numerous protestations, was pulled out with a pair of forceps which greatly disfigured his head.
Growing up was rough on F B, cause it was in the seventies when all the Cone-head skits were being done on Saturday Night Live. All the other kids teased him, and school became a living Hell. He couldn’t even go out for sports because his school had no helmets that would fit him. He became a recluse, and started to feed that over sized brain of his. He read voraciously, but only comic books, and came to the conclusion that he too was gifted.
Forceps Boy discovered that with his pointed head, he could slip into places others couldn’t. The Girls’ Locker-room was his first challenge. He heard about that place, and all the mysteries contained therein, and decided to first use his powers of penetration there. He slid through the air conditioning ducts, and was amazed a what he saw. “This is the place for Me” he thought.
INTERMISSION: Well….this is where I came to a screeching halt. This story could go either one of two ways. My cynical, Corrections tainted world view, has Forceps Boy loitering around public restrooms, reading dirty magazines and eventually ending up on a felony case load as Forceps Dirty Old Man. OR…We could go the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer route, wherein F B saves the day with is unique powers and abilities and brings joy to little girls and boys. But still ends up on felony probation after he changed his name to Chester the Molester.
So I’ll let you take it from here, if ya want. I really only wanted to post this drawing. So..what became of Forceps Boy after this locker room experience? I’ll let you decide. There’s more than just the two scenarios I’ve presented here. Leave a comment; there’s no correct answer.