Is there no end to this year long spend-a-thon, that we’re forced to endure? Now it’s something every month. I’m talking about Valentines Day, and how I gotta now run out and buy something. Hey. It’s not because I’m cheap. It’s just that I hate going to stores, and when I do go to a store, I wanna go right to the area where what I want is, get it, pay for it and get the hell out of their ASAP.
I just recovered from Christmas, and here February rolls around, and I gotta hit the stores again. The British got it right; they have Boxing Day. Now that’s a strange one. I always thought that Boxing Day was the day you neatly packed up all the worthless shit ya got the day before, on Christmas, and stored it away so you could give it back to all those folks who gave ya this crap, next Christmas.
That would really be cool, if that was what Boxing Day actually was, because people wouldn’t be running around for months earlier try to find that ‘just right’ gift for that ‘special person’. Nope, there’d be no more buying at all, unless of course you were just entering the Holiday, then you’d have to run out and buy something, but that would be more like an entry fee than a real gift. See, the joy of the season [as I see it] wouldn’t be about giving, it’d be about re-giving, or as it’s now known in the States as “re-gifting”. It would still be a season of giving, but just giving back. Soooo, instead of fighting the crowds at stores, and hassling that last minute gift shopping; you’d just go into your garage, basement, or storage unit (the least desirable of holiday choices, cause that would mean you’re paying for something monthly in anticipation for the big day, and wouldn’t be in the spirit of the season ,where no cash is to be exchanged, nor stores frequented. Kinda be like keeping Christ in Christmas),and pick out something you packed away the year before.
The season could become even more festive trying to remember who gave what to who the prior year. The stress of keeping all this straight in your head, would probably lead to drinking, for some, and therefore to a lot of domestic violence (wife beating), as fights could ensue over arguments of who gave what to who when, or whatever. But on the big day, everybody would feel joyous and happy. Not all warn-out and thrashed. Everyone would get a gift, or more correctly a re-gift, and sit around the Xmas tree and feign delight or shock at what they received. The only bummer would be for children. They wouldn’t be able too play with their re-gifts very long, and have be careful at that, for the next morning, on Boxing Day, you gotta pack it all up for next Xmas. Prolonged exposures to joy could be hazardous to your health.
Anyway, the truth of Boxing day according to Wikipedia [Boy… you can’t tell anything, to any organization which starts with Wiki anymore.] Is that Boxing Day is a Bank Holiday. Nothing religious at all. Unless the Three Wise Men, declared the first Bank Holiday after giving all those expensive gifts to the baby Jesus on the first Christmas. Now that makes more sense. We shouldn’t have thrown the baby out with the bathwater after the Revolutionary War, and kept Boxing Day. In the States it’d be more of a bankruptcy-type holiday, after everyone was just to “tapped out” to be worth a damn to go to work. A second day of Christmas….Wonder what the third is?
Oh yeah….In the UK, theres also the tradition of giving tradesmen a “Christmas Box” of money, for their good services during the year. That sounds like extortion, or the protection racket to me. No Christmas Box Gov’nor? Tires slashed; major sewage problems, forget about trash pick-up. That’s the more secular version of the day, and not in keeping with it’s true meaning.
Well, I’ve been so busy problem solving, that I still haven’t gotten around to Valentines Day yet. But I will. This is only a little foreplay before I delve into the true meaning of Valentines day.
To be continued…