mind expanding nonsense

Posts tagged ‘politics’

Lying Sack Of Shit

I love that term.  It’s an oldie and has a kinda retro feel to it.  But it also has a strong meaning to it, inferring that the one lying is doing so intentionally and with contempt; the object being to deceive, but in a manner obvious to all.  This is not to be confused with the other lying sack of shit.  A shit sack that’s been laid down somewhere, probably because whoever did so was a Lazy Sack Of Shit.

Now in Probationland we were especially fond of describing people as cloth containers filled with refuse.  Dirt-bag was a favorite, along with Scumbag.  I think Dirt-bag was more like a generic term for clients, and scumbag a more specific description.  Scumbag was the worst, because, well dirt is dirt, but Scum…yuk!  that’s like yukkie on top of yuk.

Back to Lying Sacks of Shit.  There a beneficial sacks of shit, suck as the two cubic foot bag of steer manure I bought to spread on my garden.  My tomatoes, green beans and carrots really eat that stuff up.  But the Evil Lying Sacks of Shit try to mimic manure, by spreading their lies and hoping that all of us will eat it up, and without question.  Now that’s bad.

I think it’s in politics where most of the Shit Sacks are lying around.  One of my favorites is Newt Gingrich.  Old Newt has told some whoppers in his day, and he’s back!  Sadly, he’s not now spreading lies, but the truth, and eating shit as a result.  Old Newt rightfully said Rep. Paul Ryan’s plan to turn Medicare into a voucher program was an extreme right-wing attempt at social engineering.  Right on Newt.  Sorry it didn’t fly too well with the Extreme Right.  There’s always 2016.

Arnold, my former governor, could be accused of being a LSOS for living a lie for ten years, what with fornicating the help and then having an child with her.  But I can’t really blame Arnold the Sperminator totally.  Everybody knew who/what Arnold was before we elected him in a re-call election.  It’s the people of California who are dumb sacks of shit for thinking he’s changed or could even govern.  Movies are usually pretend.

US Representative Anthony Weiner.  Caught putting questionable stuff on Face Book.  With a name like Weiner, you never post a picture of your wiener for everyone to see, and then claim someone hacked into your account.  My god!  didn’t he learn anything from a childhood of being mercilessly teased about his last name?  I like his politics.  He’s still a Lying Sack of Shit; and a dumb one at that!

I could go on and on about who I feel worth of the distinction:  Lying Sack Of Shit.  But my intent is not to create a “Bandini Mountain” on this blog, but let you have a rip at it.  Anyone you feel worthy?

Political Poontang

If you don’t know what Poontang is, let me refresh your memory. [That was my favorite term for “I forgot” when I was a Probation Officer, and testifying in Court about why I was Violating some guy( had nothing to do with sex, although some of my clients really took it in the shorts), and had totally forgotten why, and needed to look in my case file to find out. I would have to ask the Judge if I could “refresh my memory” first before I could take a peek; which was not unlike trying to refresh an out-house.]

Anyway, back to Poontang, and, refreshing your memory without going into graphic details, is what Muddy Waters said, “makes ya feel so good when your baby put her night-dress on.” And, “It’s the same old thing that makes a preacher lay his Bible down”. Don’t ya just love those old Blues and R&B songs. Those guys sure had a way with words and were talkin’ about some really raunchy stuff that went way over the heads of us little white-boys who were buying their records. Take ‘Sixty Minute Man’ by Billy Ward and the Dominoes. I thought it was a song about some guy that had an hour to kill.

So now ya know about Poontang, and if ya mix that with Politics or Religion, you really get a toxic combination. The Reformation was all about poontang. Martin, the abstinent monk who wanted to get married, Luther, wanted a little so he started a whole new church. I even saw the church door where he nailed his 95 Theses when in Germany last Fall; I didn’t get to see where he nailed his new wife. Over in England, Henry VIII, got tired of the ‘same old thing”, and started the Church of England, so he could get a divorce and refresh his poontang. France and Italy were largely immune from the Reformation and stayed Catholic because they’d been ignoring all papal poontang decrees for years; figuring “ If you no playa the game, you no make-a the rules.”

Wars have been started, and empires waxed and waned because of political poontang. Taking the expression ‘getting a little’ to global extremes. Look at Napoleon. Small man, small dong, ravages Europe. Poor Bill Clinton sure got bit in the ass mixing politics with Monica Lewinsky-laden poontang.

My favorite form of political poontang, that I’m enjoy right now, is Sarah Palin, and how she got her tits caught in the wringer over this whole Blood Libel thing. I wasn’t familiar with the term, probably because offending Jewish people is not high on my list of priorities. But how can old Sarah be held responsible for saying something, when she had no clue as to its meaning. She didn’t know what she was talking about? Nice tits, evil wringer! Don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah. She’s an endless source of inspiration for my blog, and we both have something in common…….we both crank out bullshit all day. You go girl.

I enjoyed drawing Sarah so much that I did her twice, drawing that is. Below is a pencil drawing of her getting caught in the old wringer. How sweet it is.

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