Well, ol’ Hansi’s ancient ass recently took a swan-dive into full geezer-hood. I started to use a cane to help me get around. I fought it for a long time, but finally came to the conclusion that ‘it’s time’. I have a really bad collapsed ankle from years of running, and am now afflicted with sciatica – a real pain in the ass. So I’m a little unsteady on my feet, and a cane helps with stability and eases the sciatica; don’t wanna fall down (the curse of getting old, especially if ya can’t get back up again.)
It’s taking me a little bit of time to get fully used to using a cane. First thing I discovered is: where do ya put the thing when you’re not walking around? I can see now that those canes that stand up by themselves (with the four little prongs) are not just for the seriously disabled, but could come in real handy especially when you’re on your feet and using both hands. This got me to thinking. I need a cane that has a multitude of functions, kinda like a Swiss Army Knife, but in my case a Swiss Army Cane.
My cane would not only stand up by itself, but also have a grabbing device with trigger at the handle, so you could pick up things without having to get out of the recliner; being magnetized is a must for them small metal objects. A light would be nice, and also a remote so when you forgot where ya left it, you could just push a button and a beeper in your cane would go off and you could hobble back to the bathroom where ya left it hanging on the towel rack. GPS would be nice, but I doubt I’d go far enough from home to need one. It should glow in the dark; it’s hard to find things in the middle of the night, and a cup holder is a must.
Right now, I think my invention is weighing in at close to thirty pounds. Might have to go back to the drawing board and make some revisions. Did I leave anything out?