Back in the day when I was a probation officer [Oh no, another war story], I had to test some of my ‘clients’ who had drug terms as a part of their probation. No drug use allowed. That meant yours truly had to watch junkies, wife-beaters and other drug-usin’ crooks pee in a small jar that I would take from them with gloved hands and send off to the lab for analysis. Ah yes, doing your favorite thing, and, getting paid for it; don’t get much better than that. Sometimes when I was out in the field, I had little dip-sticks (for the dip-shits) that could give me an instant read on whether or not the were clean (drug free). A lot of my clients couldn’t pass their test, and as a result, got in a lot of trouble
Wow. As groovy as re-living the past is, this whole thing got me to thinkin’. What if, in a parallel universe, the definition of passing a drug test had a different meaning. When I was in school, I was tested on what was in my brain. And in order to pass, I had to put down the answers they wanted. Pass or fail. Leaving something blank, or skipping a question often times guaranteed a fail. So…In my alternative universe, passing a drug test means you have certain drugs in your system, and if ya didn’t, Sorry Charlie, you failed.
In this universe, being on drugs is a good thing. Maybe cause Big Pharma has finally taken over, and they want you usin’ their product. “If ya got an affliction, there’s no restriction” on a medication to make life more tolerable. Mandatory drug testing would assure you were using the right stuff.
Well, we all know that will never happen. Although they are pushing vaccinations on us (and rightly so..I had the measles and chicken pox; it was no picnic), and on TV, all ya see are ads for different drugs, many with a free 15 day trial offer. Reminds me of what the local pusher used to say, “The first fix is always free.”