A few posts back, I wrote something about how I’m starting to feel invisible, un-noticed and ignored as I got older. I also made mention of, like a nasty little boy, adolescent fantasies of invisibility wherein one could do all sorts of forbidden stuff, like go into the girls locker room at school; a fantasy common to most horny little boys along with the wish ya had x-ray vision like Superman. [I wonder how often he scoped-out Lois Lane?]
I’m not most men are not into that stuff anymore. Thankfully, voyeurism (and the horns) have worn off by the time ya start getting Social Security. But wouldn’t it be cool to be invisible for real, like the guy in the Invisible Man movie. You could do all kinds of stuff, like walk into any theater, sit down and watch what ever you wanted without having to buy a ticket. You would have to make sure it wasn’t a crowded performance so some fat-lady wouldn’t come down your row and blop her big fat butt on top of ya.
You could also stay in some pretty nice hotels, just go behind the front desk, grab a set of keys, and voila, you’re livin’ large. Hitting up the breakfast buffet might be challenging. Nothing like a floating tray piled high with goodies being a dead give-a-way that someone invisible is pigging-out.
Driving a car could be difficult. I’d sure freak-out for sure if I saw an apparently driver-less car next to me in the fast lane. Motorcycles and bicycles are out too. With all the drones flyin’ round these days, someone might think that they were being chased by remote control, with some geek in Virginia, sitting at his joy-stick, ready to take your ass out.
I don’t think I’d like to be invisible all the time. If you needed to be seen, you’d have to put on clothes, hat and gloves, and cover your face with bandages, and hope that the cheap shit ya bought at the 99 Cents Store didn’t start to unravel on ya. That’s what the Invisible Man had to do, which of course meant: he was naked all the time!
I’d like to turn my invisibility off and on. The Wife don’t want no invisible hairy ass sitting on her sofa-love seat. An off switch would be nice, that way you don’t have to stand up all the time. Even if I put a towel down on my recliner, eating a bowl of soup could be mighty uncomfortable, especially if I dribbled. I would do all my blogging while invisible; sorta lends itself to the medium. Doing Skype would be interesting, especially if the person you were Skyping had their invisibility turned on too. It would be like a plane old phone call, except you could see the phone booth they were calling from. I think I’d float an ashtray in front of the screen or bend some spoons just to let ya know I was there…and naked.
Below is a picture of me being invisible; must have just gotten in from wondering around in the garden. The one above is by my six year old grandson Logan; he could care less about invisibility, but just wait.