I lost my straw hat that I wear out in the garden, and protects me from the sun. Not that I’m afraid of the sun. I worship it, cause it’s what brings life to all my plants who just suck it up. I like being outside in the sun, but I don’t wanna get exposed to radiation and all the other shit that is bombarding us daily because there’s huge holes in the ozone layer which is supposed protect us from all that crap from outer space – like death rays from Mars.
So now when I go out in the garden, I feel a little vulnerable and unprotected. Just as ya always wanna practice safe sex, so do ya always want to practice safe gardening. What good is that luscious peach or perfect carrot, when all the skin on your face is peeling off like a leper, cause ya forgot to put on some sun-screen?
Do you ever wonder if there’s gardening on other planets? Or what their food looks like? Does it have four legs and a tail? or is it some gelatinous blob that oozes out of weird plants, half of which wouldn’t mind eating you. Maybe it’s all hydroponic, cause their home world is desolate desert planet with no water. Or maybe they raise it in tubes?
Well, I gotta be pedaling my bicycle down to Big 5. I got an ad in the mail (the only type of mail I get these days), and it said that they have wide brim straw hats for only $9.99. I know ten bucks is a lot of money, but I think I’ll get my monies worth in all that protection I’ll be getting. Better get my helmet first. I also practice safe bicycling. In fact, everything that you practice should be done safely.