Have you ever thought about what life would be like without the Internet? No computer, no social media, not being privy to what’s going ‘viral’ at the moment. Well, I have. Not because I’m having some kind of big Luddite born again experience, but because my Internet service jumped from $19.95 a month to $41. Got me to thinkin’, “fuck that shit”, that’s way too much to pay just to have a wealth of bullshit at my fingertips.
I can live without email. Most of which are one line messages to my buddies asking if they wanna go to the $3 movie, or a bunch of geezer-laden nasty-ass jokes and dirty pictures I’d hate The Wife to see. And if you were to look at my Spam, you’d think that I’m nothing more than some horny bastard with a small dick who likes Russian women, and who’s head over heels in debt. Blogging is fun, but sometimes seems like work; I can get all the news I can stand on TV.
So why the big increase? I sorta knew it was coming when I decided to “bundle” my phone, TV and Internet into one neat little inexpensive package a year ago. It was great the first year, but now my “bundling” has turned into a “buggering”, and I’m on the receiving end of a big slice of corporate intercourse.
Forty one bucks a month? I wasn’t gonna take that laying down (doggie style maybe), so I got on the phone and called AT&T. After talking to a shit-load of friendly machines, I finally got to a human being, who even worked in America, and gave them a song and dance about how I was a senior citizen living on Social Security, and couldn’t afford $41 a month. [That was mostly true except for the parts I left out; guess it was a sin of omission, instead of commission. I prefer sins of emission]. Well no problem, a nice young man offered me a reduced deal for $29.95 a month. Same service, same speed, he’d just have to get his supervisor’s approval. That took a nano second, and I jumped on it. Nothing like a little K-Y Jelly to sweeten the deal.
What a bunch of bullshit! Worse than common dope dealers from whom the first fix is always free, Corporate America wants to lure us into their net with all these wonderful enticements, and then slowly suck us dry once we’re hooked.
I pity the poor fools who just accept this crap and say, “Oh Well.” Or, don’t even realize they’re getting screwed. If I had half the testosterone my Spam claims I need, I’d just say “Fuck em”. Quit their service, for a few days , and then come back to get the $13.95 U-verse special they’re offering all over the place, and start all over again.
Who foolin’ who here?