mind expanding nonsense

Domesticating Violence.

2 mens

I have no clue when I last used this drawing, or what that post was about.  But having had a caseload of domestic violence offenders for a few years immediately came to mind, sorta like flashbacks from a traumatic experience.  My career as a probation officer wasn’t so traumatic for me, but sure was for my clients, especially all those wife-beaters I had to supervise.

I loved those guys, not for what they did, but for the simple triggers that set them off.  I mean like wow, coming home drunk and slapping around the wife because: a) Dinner wasn’t on the table.  b) She wouldn’t give him sex. c) She was spending too much money on shit like clothes for the kids and food, (which severely cut in to his beer money). Or d) All of the above in that order.  Well that sure made ya a man.  Not!

My job was to domesticate all that violence inside these guys, and try to tame some of that wild behavior which got them into trouble.  The threat of jail was my biggest weapon, but a little reason and common sense went a long way too.  Although I faced a lot of denial and excuses from these guys, when I pointed out that:  a) They were arrested and spent a night in jail, b) Went to court and was convicted of a crime, and c) Had to see Mr. Hansi every month who made ya go to 52 weeks of counseling, or else we started with # a) again.  Well, all that was a fairly obvious indicator that something wasn’t working for them in their personal lives, and  needed to be changed!  Some of them got the message; some of them had to start all over again with #a).  Still can’t believe I did that for a living.

On a more serious note.  If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, be it physical or emotional, there is help out there.  I’d start by checking out the National Domestic Violence Hotline.  Nobody should have to tolerate an abusive relationship.



Comments on: "Domesticating Violence." (17)

  1. It’s good that you were there. Civilised societies at least care. Read just yesterday about an 8 year old Saudi “bride” who died from internal injuries inflicted by her 40 year old “husband” on their “wedding night.”

  2. a most difficult area. It can be allowed, yet we don’t have nearly the amount and type of help that the perpetrator needs either. Nobody is served well given that case.

  3. “My career as a probation officer wasn’t so traumatic for me, but sure was for my clients, especially all those wife-beaters I had to supervise.”

    Probably not as traumatic for them as it was the wives they beat. 😉

  4. No, they don’t have to. I agree with Oprah though. If somebody hits you, they don’t like you. Don’t have to hit me twice for me to make my exit.

    • That’s a big problem for women in abusive relationships. They often times feel they’re stuck, and can do little to change their situation.


  5. Dealing with a tough clientele is no small matter – my wife was a youth social worker in group homes in New York City. Brutal and crushing stuff, especially for the folks like her and yourself, whom obviously skew to the living-the-right-way (as best as possible) side of life. Nice drawing in itself by the way, but accompanied by the text of the post, really a great illustration of what you’ve had to see and deal with.

  6. Don’t know how you did it!

  7. Bravo, for the post and the great drawing!

  8. I’m another who’s glad they had someone like you Hansi telling them straight and assisting them and their families. You’re a big person xx

  9. I spent a day as observer Domestic Violence Div Miami State Atty office. I remain absolutely horrified and astonished at the savagery here and the number of people as perpetrators unbelievable.

    • Yea…I bet it was pretty ugly. Something is definitely wrong in a relationship when the government has to step in.


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