mind expanding nonsense

Joe Mama

Back in the day when I was attending Dorsey High School in Los Angeles, one of our favorite activities was to participate in a “chop-fight”. A non violent affair which consisted of hurling insults at one another. Whoever bested his opponent by uttering a completely humiliating invective for which the other had no response (‘what no come-back, it’s all  stuck in the back of your mouth’) was the winner. These were serious matters, for ones reputation at school hung (and speaking of being well hung, I hear your sister has a pair bigger than yours) on how one fared in these duals.

These events usually ended in a draw however, for known to everyone was the ultimate put-down for which there was no come-back. When one was going down for the count, and “so low ya had to look up to see down”, you had no choice but to hurl the ultimate weapon and respond with: “Your Mama”. That usually ended it. Everybody was wise enough, even at this young age, not to pursue the “Mama” thing much further. But, “Your Mama”, or “Joe Mama” depending on which ethnic persuasion you preferred to be, sometimes took on a life of its own. When both participants were really into trashing each other (“and speaking of Trash, How’s Joe Mama?”), things began to roll (“Your Mama; She so ugly, she looks like she’s been whooped with an Ugly stick.) It usually ended with both fools wishin’ they was orphans or cutting each other up with knives pretty badly.

Well I think it’s time for Your Mama to come back. Not literally, because most of us old guys’ Mamas are up in Heaven where they are enjoying their own chop-fights; where their ultimate put-down is “Your Son”. So, instead of always yelling ‘bullshit’ or the ‘F’ word when watching something especially tweek-some on TV; just utter in a low voice “Your Mama”. When Bill O’Riley is going on about some uber right-wing nonsense, don’t get upset, just softly utter “Your Mama” and you’ve refuted his whole argument. What more can be said. Some politician trying to explain away how they got their hand caught in the cookie jar. Don’t yell “motherfucker”. Nope, “Your Mama” says it all. You know, I think that I’m gonna stop using the word ‘bullshit’ altogether (might have to give up television to be successful), and instead just mumble “Joe Mama”when a witty repartee is needed.

You think not……. Your Mama!


Comments on: "Joe Mama" (9)

  1. It really would confound someone like O’Reilly who masters in confounding statements.

  2. We called choppin ‘joning’. It could go on for awhile too. Us girls would be on the sidelines instigating and every now and then, a girl who was really funny would throw in her chops. Funny stuff.

  3. I think this is a male thing. I prefer to utter long and detailed explosions of invective, cleverly couched in everyday terms that pass the swear meter. I have a thousand ways to call a person stupid. That is what women do. 🙂

  4. Ah yes … the good ole put-down contest …. not my forte.

  5. My mother’s name is Jo, and we always call her Jo-Mama, a holdover from the old days you’ve just described. I’d prefer to hear “your Mama” to so many of the more traditional insults!

  6. Brilliant!

    Esp like this bit … “where they are enjoying their own chop-fights; where their ultimate put-down is “Your Son” Hehe

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