mind expanding nonsense

A Community Service

Sevice 004

Doing a little volunteer work at a local charity can be a rewarding experience in retirement.  I volunteered at Food Share when I first retired, and considered it a little pay-back from me to my local community.  I’ve since gone back to work part-time cause as rewarding as volunteer work is, it doesn’t pay as much as a job.

Well Hot Dog Man also feels compelled to do a little community service (not the kind the Judge orders ya to preform or go to jail), because he has a big heart, and doesn’t want to see any of his fellow “Seniors” suffer.  That’s because retirement is supposed to be the best part of life; something you looked forward to and waited for many long years, eating shit working for some ass-holes you couldn’t stand.

Being a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, a Senior Hot-Line was a natural for ol’ H D.  His opinions on a variety of subjects, while not necessarily reflecting mine, are interesting to say the least.  Here’s some “weenie wisdom” on a few subjects all seniors will be interested in:

A.  Depression:  There’s no loss of things to get depressed about, and most of those things involve loss.  Loss of spouse, loss of bodily functions, and the loss of things ya just misplaced and can’t remember where ya put them.  Getting old is not easy, but sure beats the alternative: dying young.  Well if you’re depressed, it’s most likely that you’ve not smoking near enough marijuana.  That shit’s legal now in a lot of states, so go see one of them “Doctors” that advertise on the back pages of cheap tabloids, get a medical recommendation and run straight to your nearest dispensary and be depressed no more…or at least until ya run outta weed.

B.  Loneliness:  If you’re lonely, it’s cause you ain’t got enough friends.  I know, it’s hard to meet people and make a new set of friends.  But all ya gotta do is go down to the local tavern, say “drinks are on me”, and presto, you’ll be at no loss for friends.

C.  Those Aches and Pains:  Hey, it’s part of getting old.  Suck it up.  See # A. above for a remedy.

D.  Sex Drive:  Hello…it’s no secret that as one ages, they become prone to bouts of  limp libido.   It happens to us all, (but probably more so to those among us who fucked our brains out as a youth, and are now being punished by God for all that youthful fornicating), even those of us who’ve been in a long term relationship and had sex rationed out on a monthly basis.  Well, the problem is: it’s the same ol’ thing…Boring.  But H D recommends ya try a little #A , turn off the lights, and pretend you’re with someone else.  Gotta be careful though, don’t wanna be yelling out the wrong name whilst in the throws of all that new-found passion.

Well, that’s enough from Hot Dog Man.  Wonder where he might end up next?

more mail 003

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Comments on: "A Community Service" (15)

  1. Perfect, Hansi. 🙂
    Love it, as usual.

  2. hahahahaah bonkers!

  3. Or put on some sooth music, a glass of wine and take advantage of yourself……then a nap.

  4. Good lord; we’re gonna have to put a lock on those sketchbooks to keep Hot Dog Man from escaping. What’s going to happen when he finds his way into children’s books?

  5. Have you thought about contracting your advice services to retirement communities? It seems to be another potential financial golf mine for you.

  6. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    Great advice all around. Some seniors need to be told it straight. I fully support you working for a seniors hot line. You’d at least have them laughing and forgetting about their troubles.

    • Can’t be too serious as ya age. It would be too depressing otherwise.

      ________________________________

  7. Well said and very true

  8. thing about checking in late is by the time i scroll down to the ‘Leave A Reply’ box I’ve forgotten what I’m replying about…

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