mind expanding nonsense

April Art 001

I just love sayings and by-words that are loaded with imagery and sexual innuendo, which at the same time portray a situation, or emotional state quite accurately.  Have you ever been caught with your pants down?  I sure as hell have, and quite frequently, and in fact so much, that I thought my only salvation would be to walk around with no pants on at all.  Well, I couldn’t do that!  That would be indecent exposure, or worse yet, exhibitionism, or as we professionals in Probationland used to call it, “Weenie Waving”.

April Art 010b

See, being caught with your pants down, is exposure at a time when one is the most vulnerable.  When you were least thinking about it; thinking “I’ve got all my bases covered”…(except home plate).   Worse than Being Up Shit-Creek Without A Paddle, where at least ya know you’re in a bad situation, but don’t wanna dirty your  hands in order to get out, being caught with your pants down, catches ya when all ya can think of doing is one thing.  A Fart In a Two-Manned Submarine, is much more preferable, when it comes to things that go over well.

When one masters these catchy phrases, one can say a lot by only saying a very little, cause everyone knows exactly what you’re talkin’ about.  I’ve ventured up Shit-Creek a few times, and I was just glad I was in a canoe.  A paddle sure would have been nice, and easier to tidy-up after, but when you’re on that voyage, all ya can think about is getting out of there.  Wonder if Shit Creek would be more navigable if I had an out-board motor?

401 021


Comments on: "Caught With Your Pants Down" (16)

  1. Sherry said:

    yeah, but ya know, when you do the “caught with pants down” thing, it’s always women. That seems grossly unfair to me. Wave a weanie this way please! lol.

    • I don’t know about waving a weenie. Will a Vienna Sausage suffice?


  2. But if you had an out-board motor then the shit would literally be hitting the fan.

    That was too obvious, wasn’t it? Saw it coming from a mile out, right? Did you plant that there deliberately, you dastardly bastard?

  3. Solids would prevent the motor from operating properly…

  4. A lot of these phrases seem to be falling out of favour. Don’t ask me why.

    I like “In more trouble than worms on the sidewalk.” And of course, “Busier than a one-armed paper hanger in a wanking contest.”

  5. Even worse when pants are down and no one takes notice.

  6. You’ve managed to illustrate the feeling/phrase well!

  7. Hansi, you rock. ❤

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