mind expanding nonsense

Geezerhood

geezer 003

When a man reaches his mid sixties, he finally comes to the realization that he is no longer a little boy, but rather an old man who is aging, and doing so rapidly.  Muscle tone is softening, recovery time from strenuous activity is getting longer and sexual prowess is diminishing.  [At least I’m finding that sexually I’m prowling a lot less these days].  Things just ain’t what they used to be, and ya find yourself turning into a geezer.

Well, I’m finding that becoming a geezer is not a bad thing.  In fact attaining Geezerhood, as I like to call it, is actually a liberating experience.  Freedom from social constraints, partial invisibility, and a general “I no longer give a shit” attitude (which no one gives a shit that you have or not), are just a fraction of the benefits of being a Geezer.  Of course there’s all the ‘senior discounts’ which one can reap without guilt, cause everybody thinks you’re just an old turd livin’ off of Social Security.  There’s Medicare, and also early dining specials.  And, in California, ya get twice the personal exemptions on your state income tax for being sixty five and over; so there’s money in Geezerhood too.  Let’s not forget all that sweet handicapped parking.

geezer 004b

So, ya can see  the benefits of Geezerhood.  Some of these also include: never having to buy clothes again (a true geezer has all the clothes he’ll ever  need and wears them every day); A more relaxed approach to personal hygiene; And a more realistic view of work and the toll too much could take on ya.  But what I seem to like the best is being invisible.  Not the type of invisibility ya wished you had when you were fourteen years old and had fantasies about being able to go inside the girls locker-room and not be seen while they took their showers.

Nope.   When one has attained Geezerhood, no one any longer pays attention to ya.  You’re invisible cause nobody really looks at ya.  All they see is some fucked-up old guy, who ya wanna stay clear of, and definitely not wanna get behind in a line.  You’re not scrutinized, you’re more tolerated, put up with.  So, if ya looked fucked-up, and everybody expects ya to also act fucked-up.  Might as well live up to expectations, and wonder around  enjoying the scenery.

Excuse me, while I kiss the sky.

Advertisements

Comments on: "Geezerhood" (24)

  1. Happy geezerhood Hansi (more time make these great drawings)!

  2. I might be a few years behind you but i’m expecting to spend a great deal of my geezerhood naked. Presently i garden with clothes on. Gardening nude (or even better, distilling Cacacha nude!) will mean i’ve attained Buddhahood 😉

    • I often times garden in the nude, but only because I’ve forgotten to put on clothes. Gotta be careful with them garden shears when out there in the buff.

      ________________________________

      • That’s EXACTLY how i want to do it! Unconsciously.

        “Excuse me, sir… may I inquire as to the current location of your pants?”

        “Why, aren’t I wearing any…?”

  3. as usual, geezers don’t both to ask their wives how they feel about all this “relaxed hygiene” and “old clothes” and so forth. Of course not. Now at least I know that all this stuff is just genetic with men. That’s why I have to check my husband before we leave the house now. He’s a geezer. Sheesh….

    • A true Geezer needs a Geezerette to get things from getting totally out of hand.

      ________________________________

  4. Good one! Those drawings perfectly capture the idea of geezerhood. One of the bests examples of geezerhood I ever saw was an old guy down the street who every 4th of July would braid together about 100 feet of firecrackers and string them from his (unused of course) basketball hoop on his garage to the clothesline, etc. and all around the back yard. He’d start about 2 weeks before the 4th and go through about a case of beer a day just sitting there making the string and telling us to go to hell if we took an interest. On the 4th it would all be over in about 2 minutes but it was a real labor of love–only a geezer could get away with something like that.

  5. We’re looking at you ..

  6. I can always count on you telling me what is ahead in my life.

  7. Being a geezer you are allowed unlimited brain farts and mental pauses….too bad money cannot be made off those two…..

  8. You? A Geezer? Never would have thought it! 😉

  9. No wonder California is broke–a double personal exemption on state income tax? Woo-hoo! Maybe I’ll have to move back. At least in your geezerhood you didn’t say “kiss this guy” (an often misquoted version of Hendrix’s “kiss the sky”).

  10. By the time I get down here I forget what was up there…

  11. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    I suppose other geezers notice you. So, it’s not total invisibility…

  12. One good point about getting old – no peer pressure.

    • LOL!!!

      ________________________________

      • Actually I’m not so sure. I’ve spent some time visiting nursing homes and the geezers there all brag about whether their hip replacements are titanium or ceramic or whatever. It’s like kids arguing about whether an iPhone is better than a Samsung.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: