mind expanding nonsense

Stealing Pens From Work

pens 004a

Okay, everybody does it and thinks nothing of it.  A pen that just happens to make it home with ya after work.  Why that ain’t stealing!  It just happens.  No big deal.  Anyway, I’m not gonna keep it forever.  I’ll bring it back to work when  all the ink is used up.  So it’s more like borrowing the pen…I’ll give it back to ya, but in a slightly used condition.  Let’s call it, “wear and tear”.  Hey, nothing is permanent, even when it comes to marking pens.

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So… I have all these pens laying around now, and I gotta use them,  (cheap pieces of Made In China crap that they are), cause fine art supplies are expensive, and, hard to steal.  When ya work in a bureaucratic paper-mill like I do, nobody’s gonna miss a few pens or pieces of paper:  half the stuff ends up shredded anyway.  When I go to the Supply Room, sometimes I start to think: Might as well grab a couple of number 2 pencils, Ow, there’s a ruler, and…Oh,  gotta have an eraser.  One can always use a stapler (might as well get one of those), then I’ll need a staple remover too.  A two-hole punch?  What the hey; never know when something might need to be punched twice.  Oh yeah, better take some manila folders to carry all this shit in.  A ream of paper would sure come in handy too. Double A batteries?  Never know when they’ll be an emergency.

Hell…this isn’t stealing.  It’s more like shopping.  Wonder what’s in the Lunch Room?

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Comments on: "Stealing Pens From Work" (20)

  1. Reminds me of when I worked in retail, and I would fill sketchbook pages with stuff found around the sales counter, such as staples, receipts, stamps, scotch tape, highlighters, etc…

  2. That’s sharp!

  3. ” Wonder what’s in the Lunch Room?”

    Somebody else’s lunch they brought from home? 😉

    • Workplace lunchrooms are usually filled with goodies like donuts, cookies etc.  Is it any wonder people start to get wide asses when at a desk-job eight hours a day.

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  4. Oh jeez I’m so weird I feel bad about taking paper from the copier, even though I need it to do my job. Usually there is a pile of “used” paper next to the copier, so that’s what I take. I only need the clean side of it anyway!

    • A true confession? It’s hard not to take some scraps when one sees so much waste around them.

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  5. My dad worked at Buick assembly. Don’t get me started on the stuff he managed to inadvertently bring home–tires, spark plugs. I doubt he ever bought a real tire.

    • Old dad was pretty smart. Your family car was probably brought home one part at a time. 🙂

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  6. I’ve still got drawers full of this stuff – a perk offshoot gift of capitalism….

  7. I sure hope nobody you’ve ever worked for reads this. 🙂

  8. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    I feel guilty. Really. But. I. Can’t. Stop.

  9. Stamps, stamps. I need some stamps. Would also like to take home that new gal over in orders receivable.

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