mind expanding nonsense

To Bundle, or Not To Bundle

luck 004

I don’t know about you, but I get a shit-load of advertisements almost daily from cable TV, satellite providers and even the Phone Company, wanting me to “Bundle” with them for great savings.  Usually I’d just throw all that crap away, having come to the realization that “Bundling ” wasn’t bi-word for sex, like “cuddling”, as I thought (or  like all the email spam I get encouraging me to meet sexy divorced females looking for one-night stands in my area wanting to chat with me), but about consolidating all my communication needs into one package.  [A deeper look into all this “Bundling” revealed that it Was indeed about sex, and I’d be the one getting screwed in the second year of this relationship when prices sky-rocket].

Let me digress.  A number of years ago I signed up for cable TV, because my old roof antenna was starting to crap out on me, leaving me to watch all my favorite shows through a haze.  Well, as much as I enjoy doing things while in a haze, having it on the old Tube was more than I could stand.  So I got cable, and when the guy who contracts with the Cable Company came by to hook me up, he asked me what I signed up for (they apparently didn’t tell him) ; I told him just the basic service.  Well he, probably  having no loyalty to the company whatsoever, as they were paying him on a piece-meal basis, hooked me up with ‘Expanded Basic’.  So instead of the dozen or so channels I ordered and wanted to pay for, I was now getting 50 plus channels of all the political bullshit, endless re-runs and reality shows one could stand.  Pretty cool.

Now you may question the morality of getting more than what you’re paying for.  Isn’t that theft?  Thou shalt not steal.   Well Hell No!  See, when I was fighting crime as a probation officer, I learned that people don’t change their evil ways unless they’re made to suffer, and if the cable company was filled with a bunch of dumb-shits who hired people who didn’t give a shit, well they deserved to suffer.

Lo and behold, all these years of  moral superiority came to a screeching halt a few days ago, when I found a placard on my front door stating that a recent audit revealed I was getting services to which I was not entitled. Damn….Busted!  And if I wanted all those all those extra channels that I’ve grown accustomed to (filled with loads of high-definition happy horse-shit), I’d have to pay an extra $20 a month more for all that viewing pleasure.

I did this little drawing for their viewing pleasure.

1-24-13 001


Comments on: "To Bundle, or Not To Bundle" (25)

  1. Bravo….the cable people are scam artists and deserve anything that can be done to them……..your finally drawing was so perfect….well done my friend….

  2. Very tiring on the mind, this constant barrage of advertising. Your’e much better off without all those extra channels. A bravo from me too! Russell.

  3. I love it! The second drawing is priceless! I hate cable companies. We have Direct TV. and they cancelled the channel that carried Gore’s channel so now we can’t get Al Jazzera which I really was looking forward to to get a more balanced look at world affairs. They are disgusting entities. WE’ve had so many fights with them it’s not funny. They always offer us some appeasement afterwards, but its still a rip off.

  4. I still get basically the same crappy programming at the same crappy rate I’ve had for the last 7 years because every time one of my “special credits” runs out I call them and ask what they can do for me. After I go through a few people, I end up getting my old rate under some other title. I suspect most people don’t go through the hassle, or don’t know they can, so their rates keep creeping up.

  5. Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was
    just wondering if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how
    do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can advise?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.

  6. Can’t trust those hyenas, at the door or on the phone – for years they’ve been drooling at my heels to get TV service period – disbelief in their throats when I tell them I DO NOT WANT TV – EVER – NOHOW – but they continue to hunt me in packs. Maybe I’ll print out your final drawing and mail it to head office…

  7. Goody–now you’ll have more time for drawing and blogging!

    Seriously, you might want to patent that last drawing and start a T-shirt line. It will be a great retirement income generator. I’ll be your exclusive distributor in the southern hemisphere!

  8. I know so many people who have figured out how to share passwords and create loopholes in trying to beat the cable companies, and they’re successfully getting more than they pay for. I wonder how they finally figured it out…I’m glad you weren’t fined! They will hopefully enjoy their personal artwork! 🙂

    • Fined? They were the ones that screwed up, I just thought I was gettin’ what I paid for. Ignorance is bliss, but a dubious defense 🙂


  9. You are such a cack. Some priceless Hansisms here. Sniggered at this .. “A deeper look into all this “Bundling” revealed that it Was indeed about sex, and I’d be the one getting screwed in the second year of this relationship when prices sky-rocket”.

  10. LOL! Believe it or not, we don’t even have cable TV. 🙂

  11. I wish we could create and be charged for our own individual bundle. Like just the dozen channels I want. Crazy with 150 channels and sometimes the weather channel is the best TV out of it all. I am glad the condo corp has bundled for all units with one company. Phone, internet and TV for $120 a month.

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