mind expanding nonsense

Shopping List

list 001

You can’t go to the store without a shopping list.  If you do, you’re likely to waste a lot of time spacing out on all the shit there is to buy.  Although that can be a delightful experience in and of itself, totally forgetting why you’re there in the first place, you can catch a lot of hell from The Wife because of what-cha brought home, and be forever banned from going shopping again [a possible win-win situation].

Now, I like going to the store totally stoned out of my mind as much as the next guy, but when I need to get some ‘serious shopping’ done, I always bring a list.  Nothing like a list to keep us goal-oriented, obsessive-compulsive over achievers focused on the task at hand.  And as much fun as riding around in them little electric carts and being a nuisance is, the bottom line for me is: when shopping, go right to what ya want, grab it and get the hell outta there.

Well, my favorite store, when I gotta go (and I don’t mean pee pee), is Trader Joes.  A unique grocery store featuring an eclectic blend of health foods, gourmet items and a huge selection of wines and spirits.  Pretty much covers all my needs.  They have everything!  From the most potent alcoholic intoxicants one can buy (passed off as fine wines), to all the munchies one could imagine to go along with it.  Sounds like hog heaven to me.

That’s why I go there weekly.  Not only is it a place where you can get everything ya need to get wasted and over-eat at the same time. But it also has natural, un-processed foods which makes the Southern California “Mediterranean diet” oh so luscious.   Better add extra virgin olive oil to the list; and some garlic too.

So…and here’s the caveat, when I go to Trader Joes, I gotta be very careful.  Not only do I have to feign being disabled so I can ride around in their scooters, I gotta be “future oriented” and not so “in the moment” that I buy everything I see, tripping out on how oh so good it’ll be when I get back home.  No easy task.  Wonder why  they put all them chocolate bars right there at the check-out stand?   Mmmmm Chocolate.

I think my list is fairly complete.  Can ya think of anything I maybe left out?


Comments on: "Shopping List" (17)

  1. More wine … never enough … more wine.

  2. ” Mmmmm Chocolate”

    Dark Chocolate is a heart healthy food with all of their flavonoids. The gods were smiling down on us on this one. Coffee too is a healthy choice. A couple of cups of joe a day could reduce the risk of killer chronic diseases like diabetes and pneumonia. Just don’t OD on the creamer and sweetner. 🙂

  3. Shopping lists are helpful. Toss it out the wondow if you’re stoned though.

  4. Dark chocolate and coffee……tools of a philosopher. I also make lists….my problem is a seldom remember them once I leave the house……brain farts!

  5. You really need to write chocolate? That’s a given around here every stop at the store;)

  6. Just your t-shirt with your name and address on it so you can be returned when you get lost. But then perhaps you wife prefers you don’t wear it! lol..

  7. Some petrol for your scooter …

    I’d have almonds where you have sunflower seeds and I’d scrub the question marks over dessert and … why, thank you, you’ve written my list.

  8. Loved Trader Joes when I lived in LACA, one of my happiest shopping days ever was when they opened one here in Athens, Ga.

  9. How do you “feign being disabled” – I’ve always wanted to ride in those electric carts but the ‘associates’ know me too well…

    • Act naturally works for me. I’m finding that when you’re over 60, everybody just thinks you’re old and f***’d up, so asking for a motorized cart is par for the course.


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