mind expanding nonsense

Drawing Madness

You know, sometimes I can’t even believe some of the stuff I come up with in some of these drawings.  None of this stuff is planned.  For the most part all my drawings (well most of them), are spontaneous creations which I work into and let finished products arise.  Kinda like Big Pharma steering up a new batch of anti-depressants for all of us to mindlessly consume.

The challenge for me blog-wise, is to come up with some narrative as filler, (just like ‘padding’ a college term paper when ya really had nothing new to say, and had already plagiarized anything remotely relevant).  I hated writing term papers in college.  Mainly because I couldn’t write worth a shit, and my spelling and grammar were atrocious.  That’s why I was an Art major.  No term papers there.

Anyway, here’s where some cosmic karma comes around and bites ya in the ass.  Guess what I ended up doing for a living?   Yep…I wrote Probation Pre-Sentance  Reports for a living.  That’s like three term papers a week.  And it ain’t no fiction either (except the defendant’s take on things).  It was all facts!  Information unearthed, verified, condensed and concisely written as a social history of an individual about to be sentenced on a felony offense, with a recommendation to the Court re: prison or probation.

And because I couldn’t just say, “send this dirt-bag to the joint.”   I had to be creative and use a bunch of big legal-sounding words such as:  Due to the defendants lengthy prior record and increasingly violent offenses, it is felt that he is represents a danger to the community and should be incarcerated for a considerable amount of time, in order to impress upon him the seriousness of his offenses.

What a bunch of horse-shit.  Everybody in court knew what I was saying: “Send this dirt-bag to the joint”.  But no, before D B went off to the joint, an elaborate ritual had to take place [there is justice after all], wherein  the district attorney and public defender argued over what constitutes a threat, accurately defines a serious offense; and put a number to considerable in the amount of time this poor turd will spend in prison.  Then…it was off to the joint for his ass.

Pretty far-out.   Sure glad I don’t do that anymore and can focus on my drawing.


Comments on: "Drawing Madness" (16)

  1. I’m sure if no one else did, the DB appreciated your eloquence, even if it did send him/her to the joint. Ever had any of them get out of the joint and recommend the two of you have a mickey fin … er, drink?

  2. Yeah, and you lily-livered Probation officers never had the guts to show up in the courtroom and defend your claims against my poor innocent and misunderstood client. So I just want you to know that I referred to you as a lazy low-life who just copied the same old crap from report to report, and couldn’t add up the numbers for the sentencing ranges. I was so tired of doing all your work for you. 😛 Have a great 4th there Hansi dude!

    • Typical defense attorney reply; when ya have nothing but a loser to defend, attack the PO :) You guys have a happy 4th too.


  3. Awesome as always Hansi!. I hate trying to come up with brilliance for my blog as well, so I don’t………..Oh well. Although I have to say I am constantly coming up with witty one liners and hilarious anecdotes that have me cracking up at my own marvelousness. Sadly as soon as I sit down to put it in my blog, my brain clears and I sit there like a plate of boiled cabbage!!

    • I do the same thing except my brain never clears. I would say if ya like it, post it, and don’t worry about it. Boiled cabbage isn’t so bad, just depends on how ya spice it up 🙂


  4. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    The world revolves on ritual. Great post and wish I had your imagination!

    • Thanks…I think you’re a pretty imaginative person. Look forward to seeing more of you paintings.


  5. so … if that Peck of Pickled Peppers that Peter Piper Picked were purloined you would propose prison,probation or palfrey punishment?

  6. That last one is a bit freaky to me … yet it’s a Hansi!

  7. I had to write the same junk when creating language for referrals for high schoolers for assistant principals. Fortunately I handled most disciplinary problems myself. I always recommended these whack jobs for psych eval but since I am not certified practitioner I always couched a report with “it appears, it seems, there exists behavior that suggests, it is possible, perhaps, significant and always closed with rec to professional to make assessment in best interest of child. Kept a copy always.

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