mind expanding nonsense

Back in the day when I first started blogging, I did a lot of parody posts about all the weird shit I saw on early morning Cable TV.  I get up pretty early in the morning, and before the gym opens at 5:00 a.m., I do a lot of stretching exercises in front of the tube.  And at 4;30 in the morning, it’s unbelievable all the crap they’re trying to sell ya.  I can live without the newest space-aged vacuum cleaner, and already have well cut abs (they’re just hiding under a layer of fat).

But when it comes to shit like “No Evil Oil”. How can I not help to get a little sarcastic, and verbally ream out the slick, southern, hoodoo preacher who’s selling that snake oil.  Great blog fodder.  Butt (a different type of but, butt the same) who can pass-up on something specially prepared, prayed over, and with hands laid upon by twelve Elders, that would bring ya nothing but good luck, and keep ya safe from all manner of harm?  I wanted to take a bath in that stuff.   But when they announced that it was sold by the ounce (yet probably made by the bath-tub full in someones trailer), and would cost ya a “generous gift” to this fake’s ministry, I decided to stick with my old tried and true “All Evil Oil”, which I’m using in full strength today.

I also found out about , and did posts on the “Wonder Bra”, or “Genie Bra’, same difference, just made  in different parts of China.  And…Tri-Phoria, the personal hand held vibrator from the folks at the Trojan rubber company (not to be confused with tire manufacturers).  those were so popular, that I did two posts on Tri-Phoria, mainly because the commercial for it was so outrageous, “blowing back the hair” of a bunch of little harlots raving about it at a bridal shower.  The Bride-to-be looked on in amazement, soon coming to the conclusion, “Who needs a man?”  Check out these little harlots.  It’ll Blow Your Hair Back

My stats swelled, like blood rushing to you know where, with posts like that.  Not that I was such a clever lampoonist, but because I added a shit-load of tags featuring Tri-Phoria and Wonder Bra key words.  All I could figure was that their was a lot of of horny full figured women (or kinky men) out there, in desperate need to know if this stuff actually worked as claimed.  When I got the comment: “I want one!  Please use overnight shipping.”  I knew I was on to something, or a gigantic disappointment to many.

Anyway, like the Church in the Middle Ages, I decided it was time to trot these relics out for the faithful.  To restore faith in Hansi, that he’s not totally gone over to a drawing only blog, but still has a few satirical marbles left in his head.  You may want to check out my 1950’s Japanese Godzilla/Rodan movie re-working called ‘Tri-Phoria versus Genie Bra“, complete with men in monster suits stomping the shit outta toy tanks and villages.

Well I’m just waiting now, like a monk hoping for that  ‘poor box’ to get filled.  Sure wanna   get a lot of views on this one.  Even added some new tags like: filth and, bad taste.  Don’t wanna leave anyone out 🙂

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Comments on: "Tri-Phoria and the Wonder Bra" (23)

  1. with men in monster suits stomping the shit outta toy tanks and villages.

    I remember those. I think I coulda made more betterer realer ones when I was 7 years old.

  2. I’d love to see a demographic breakdown of the sales statistics for that thing. Like by state.

  3. I can’t wait for the All Evil, Self-oiling, Wonder Bra, Tri-Phoria Pleasure-Bot…

  4. Playing to the infomercial crowd … Brilliant … love the Triphoria commercial.

  5. Seems us old farts are up early…I guess that is why we have the dick picker uppers and such on then……Trojan does have a couple of great ads out…..speaking of trashy….I have a post coming on Food Nazi about “Breastaurants”…..I like trashy….kudos!

  6. I think you are getting close to getting an X rating on WordPress. That would mean that I, being the very proper lady that I am, would not be coming here. The filth level is enough to make me ask my husband to expend his energies here rather than annoy me with his dirty-minded babble. I swear a man should be handcuffed to his dick. It seems the only thing he grabs with regularity anyway. MIght as well be locked to it.

    • I’m more used to penal more than penile handcuffs, but a great though nonetheless

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  7. Can’t get enough of that filth and bad taste. And I’ll take a bottle of your ‘All Evil Oil’ please 😉

  8. Capitalism at it’s finest! But thanks for the update on how to boost numbers! Unfortunately my mother reads my blog…I can only do so much! Debra

    • You got Mom, I got my wife. Thankfully she sees my blog solely as a conduit of filth and bad taste which embarrasses her in front of the whole world, so she never reads it.

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  9. Sex sells. And you’re a good one to draw up the ads for it.

    • Thanks…but if sex sells, when are all them checks gonna start rollin’ in?

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  10. Hello webmaster. I came to your “Tri-Phoria and the Wonder Bra Hansi's Hallucinations” page via Google but it was hard to find as you were not on the first page of search results. This means you are missing out on a lot of website traffic from the search engines. I have found a website which offers to dramatically increase your rankings and traffic to your website: http://www.linklegends.com/7-day-free-trial. I managed to get close to 1000 visitors/day using their services, you could also get lot more targeted visitors from Google than you have now. Hope this helps 🙂 Take care.

  11. Noth’in wrong with a Hansi all drawing blog!

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