mind expanding nonsense

Attachment

Holding onto things that bother you, or even worse, really piss you off, is a form of attachment.  And when one clings onto something and forms an attachment with it, the possibility for suffering arises.  For one is never happy or content,  That’s because with attachment, comes the desire for more and the fear of loss of what you have.  “I want that thing badly; can’t live without it.  Oh my god, what would I do without it?”

Besides only gaining suffering, one also looses something with attachment.  And that is your mind, or rather your peace of mind.  Contentment and well being flee when a bad case of attachment hits.  When I got totally pissed at someone recently, I couldn’t let anger go.  I was wronged.  I was the victim, and not the bad guy as accused.  But instead of feeling any the better for it, I felt bad; both physically and emotionally.  I was up-tight, frustrated, everything turned to shit with endless re-runs of how I was wronged running through my mind.  There was little room for anything else.  Damn, instead of grasping on to all this anger, I should have been fleeing from it.  Running for my life.  Cutting it loose.

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Comments on: "Attachment" (22)

  1. Wise insight Hans and an idea to live by.

  2. Nothing is more detrimental to our well-being than clinging to resentments. I know, I have done it all too often. Learning to let go is a real lesson. I am always better off when I finally refuse to endulge in such a distructive emotion.

  3. Very true. I can relate. I have anger problems still. heheh

    For me, of what I’ve come to discover, is that attachment and acceptance are cousins–one is the ugly cousin, can you guess which one?

    I find I attach more to people, past mistakes (mine) and have a hard time letting go of past dreams, etc. I mean, most people do to some degree. But for me it’s EXTREME, and that forming of toxic “attachments” to people is actually a hallmark of BPD, and a part of any unhealthy mindset, really.

    I used to create music, wanted to be a musician, WAS a musician (still am), and when I started loosing my hearing, naturally, I attached to anger. Then I detached completely. I didn’t play, I didn’t listen to music.

    I think what would be a healthy balance between those to extremes, neither of which were healthy, is ACCEPTANCE!

    Kudos Hansi

  4. I could go on for hours on this topic, but to save you all from boredom I won’t. Just a couple of tiny nuggets. When you are “wronged” it’s the other person’s problem, not yours. All of us have perfectly good reasons for what we do even if those reasons only make sense to ourselves. Unless you take the first step and ask the other person to explain him/herself, you’ll never know what they were thinking, you’ll only be guessing. Even if you’re 1000% positive that your guess is correct, it’s still just your opinion, not fact until you verify it. And who wants to waste hours, days, years of their time agonizing over something that’s only a guess? Either be brave and clean it up with that person or let it go and chalk it up to the incomprehensible nature of being human. Unlike we are sometimes told in times of trial, there often isn’t a reason for everything. Or, to put it in the vernacular, shit happens.

    • Yea, shit does happen. Hopefully it’s good shit that’s happening for you.

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  5. I don’t see how be can become detached and liberated when brutal soldiers are invading and raping, when people are starving and the presence of all kinds of injustice.

    • That’s a hard one, but also an example of the down-side of attachment: invading, raping etc.

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  6. There are many reasons why we hang on to things that actually weighs us down – yet, we tend to forget/not realize the role we played in packing those bags on our own back.

  7. You have said it all too well….my problem is as a Viet vet I am still pissed at the way this country treats its vets……sorry….cannot let that one go……

    • I don’t blame ya. The Vets served our country, and what do they get for it?

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  8. There is a certain equanimity to be gained by lopping off a foe’s head!

    But seriously, you are spot on.

  9. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    Yes! And the more often you visit that anger, the more entrenched it gets. So get rid of it early – that’s a good lesson to learn.

  10. Oh, it’s that kind of attachment you’re talking about. Sometimes, writing a blog post can come in handy too 🙂

  11. I’m all for detaching;)

  12. Yep, just let it go. It stops the creative flow and we don’t want that.

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