mind expanding nonsense


This is your 163rd published post. Groovy! This post has 165 words.

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You used the following categories and tags: General Insanity and crayola drawings.

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I love it when people use the word Groovy. It’s a real sixties flash back: Feelin’ Groovy; Everything is Groovy, and now, even my 163rd post is Groovy. And it only took a 165 words to get this groove going……Groovy.

 I even got some prompts for my next post, so I thought I’d try out this one:

If I had my own restaurant, I’d have to name it Hansi’s Inhalations. Kinda like my bog, but it wouldn’t be  like the Tea Shops they have in Amsterdam, where you can go in, buy a joint, inhale it, and get blasted all day.  Nope.  My restaurant would be a place where you didn’t smoke at all, but a place were you could eat your meal as fast as you wanted; like inhaling your food when you’re really starved or have a bad case of the munchies. And to add atmosphere, I’d have an older woman, a Mom figure, as hostess, who instead of jumping in your shit for eating your food too fast like ya did as a kid, would harangue ya to “hurry up, you’re food’s getting cold.” In fact, when the place really starts to fill up with patrons wanting a fast bite, ol’ Mom could start yelling at them like a Drill Instructor, getting in their faces demanding they chew faster…and Faster

Not only would this be a hot spot for naughty boys wanting to break the rules, but a great business model featuring crappy food you couldn’t taste and rapid table turnover. Kinda like Wall Street packaging risky mortgages, I could seat a person every fifteen minutes at one table; and if they couldn’t  finish in fifteen, well ol’ Mom will throwing their asses out with a doggie bag.  And even better, because they wolfed down their meal so fast, they’re gonna wanna go around the corner and barf in the alley.  So you know they’ll be right back cause they’re hungry again.  Sounds groovy to me.  Maybe I could start a  franchise.

This would be a good way for me to get even with my enemies too.  I could send them two for one coupons in the mail.  They’ll come in thinkin’ they got a real deal.  But after wolfing down two Hansi creations, they’ll be out in the alley faster than you can say “Up, Chuck”, and be barfing their brains out.  There’s no better joy than to see your enemies suffer.  Makes ya feel good.  Glad you’re not out there barfing with em.

But what if I got hungry, and forgot who I worked for, and ate some of my own food.  Well I’d soon be out there barfing with em.  And if I’m out there with em, that could form a bond with those who were my former enemies but are now fellow sufferers.  I might even start to think “Hey, we’re all in this together. And about 99% of us are feeling the same way.”  “We all basically want the same thing: to feel better and never eat at Hansi’s again; he’s been feeding us a line of shit.”  “He’s been feeding everybody a line of shit.  Let’s not eat at Hansi’s Inhalations. ”

Wouldn’t it be cool if nobody ever ate at Hansi’s again?  Groovy, I would think.  Kinda like not working on Maggie’s Farm*  no more.  Let that thought occupy your mind for a while….you’ll  feel Groovy.

* A Bob Dylan song form “Bringing It All Back Home” album.


Comments on: "Groovy" (32)

  1. Hansi,
    Remind me never to eat in a place called Hansi’s. I don’t want to be that groovy.

  2. Groovy post. Don’t think I will be eating out amytime soon, though. Your restaurant could be the answer to the obesity problem.

  3. Love it! Join the 99%!

    And it would be just like not working on Maggie’s Farm:

    I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more.
    No, I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more.
    Well, I try my best
    To be just like I am,
    But everybody wants you
    To be just like them.
    They sing while you slave and I just get bored.
    I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more.

    But I have to admit, when I hear groovy I think of this:

  4. Great post! My prompt would have been the education one…..I have written about it a bit but there was more to it and it would make a good how-to-book or should I say a how-not-to book…..LOL

  5. Groovin’…ona Sunday afternoon. Young Rascals. Or was that Saturday? Was it Lovin Spoonful on Wednesday? Hey dude, that’s what groovin’s all about. Who knows?

  6. Hi groovers! Hansi, your man at the top looks like a koala. A groovy one.

    I want WordPress to say “buck” or “spiffing” when I post my next one.

  7. I nominate Hansi to appear on Food Network’s “Next Great Restaurant.” …. well, if the show doesn’t exist, you should be in the debut! …. BTW … who knows how many times you got me laughing in this one!

  8. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    Yeah, I’d be way better off if pizza, chocolate, biscuits, cookies, pie and cake tasted like dirt or something worse.

    • That’s actually a good idea for the next fad diet. Eat all ya want. But you gotta have a shaker-full of worm laden compost on each helping…..could work 🙂

  9. geezerpussrex said:

    If you get around to opening Hansi’s Inhalations, you ought to place them next to Heimlich’s Huts. Get a big guy like Toar to stand by for the maneuver, and make sure you have tile flooring. You could also feature throat funnels, ala the folks who raise geese for pate.

    Once a month, as you well know, I act as ringmaster at your local riverbottom zombie feed. More than 250 down-and-outs polish off a half-ton of delicious food within one hour. The toothless methamphetime wonders literally inhale our haute cuisine. No teefies, no chewy. Bon appetit!

    • I think Heimlich’s Hut should be in a special area of the restaurant. Why let the competition rack in all the dough on my customers chocking? You’re doing a good deed with the Zombie feed.

  10. geezerpussrex said:

    P.S…. Have a groovy Thanksgiving all you Hansioids.

  11. I don’t see where the subscribe box is on your blog. I’d been looking over the last couple of days and I simply don’t see it.

    • Wow, thanks, that must mean you want this stuff delivered on a daily basis (or whenever I post it). At the bottom of where you make a comment is a itsy-bitsy tiny box that says some thing to the effect: Do you want to be notified by email of the next post. That’s where ya subscribe…I think.

  12. Oh, didn’t know this was a two-part post.

    You Crack. Me. Up!!!!

  13. I’m groovin’ on your groovy post. 🙂

  14. cool man, this blog is a real blast from the past .. 🙂 and ain’t that a good thing

  15. Channeling a little Wavy Gravy there. Groovy.

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