mind expanding nonsense

I’m gonna catch hell in some quarters for this, but I like Herman Cain.  And what’s there not to like , and even admire, a black man, in America, rising to the top of the corporate ladder.  That’s some accomplishment!  And what’s cool is he has a German name.  The same one in fact as my Uncle Hermann (who was an SS officer in WWII).  Sadly Herman dropped the last N in his name when the Cainburg family immigrated from Germany.

What’s even more of a blow-mind, and reason to like him even more, Herman also has the same name as a famous Bible character: Cain, like in Cain and Able.  And if you went to Sunday School like you should have, instead of turning into a godless, liberal socialist commie pinko, you’ll remember that Cain and Able were Adam and Eve’s first children. [ If you don’t recall Adam and Eve then you’re already hopelessly Lost, and therefore un-saveable in God’s eyes, so skip that part]. and the similarities don’t stop there.

OK…after the boys grew-up, they each got jobs so they could start families of there own.  [Don’t even ask where the wives came from or who they really were].  Able was a Shepard and raised sheep.  Cain was in the agricultural business, and grew mostly vegetables and grains, AKA: a farmer.  Both prospered and did well for themselves, but wouldn’t cha know it, as soon as things were going relatively well, and they were starting to make a profit, Big Government steps in and demands their fair share.  Big Government back them was God, and He demanded a sacrifice; kinda like a tax.

What could they do?  Government could put them out of business, so they had to cough it up,( and ya better make it a good one).  Abel gave God a sheep for he knew God had a certain fondness towards lamb.  Cain gave God an offering of produce, probably a bread concoction, rolled thin, spread with tomato paste, goat cheese and baked with a heap of vegetable toppings on it.

God’s taste for lamb won out, and Cain’s produce was deemed sub-par.   Cain got pissed, and if there were lawyers back then, would have sued Abel’s ass in court.  Instead, Cain just murdered Abel, thereby eliminating the competition.  Well God got pissed too.  After He noticed Abel missing, He asked Cain where Abel was.  Cain replied ( and here’s the best part) ” Am I, my brother’s keeper?”  Wrong answer!  Not only was it heartless, it was just plain dumb; with only four people on Earth, how could ya not know where anybody was?  So God banished Able for fraudulent activity and put a mark on him so everyone would know who he was, (like his Mom and Dad), and not hurt him for what he’d done.

Wow…Some story, and it really happened.  Kinda like how Herman Cain is happening now in the Republican Party.  Are they their brothers keepers?  Hell No!  If my “brother” can’t keep up for his self, it’s only because he’s a lazy fool who’s been duped into voting democrat all these years.  Seeing from whence he came, overcoming all obstacles: Don’t you now love Herman too?  See…I thought you’d come around and luv him too.

Closing with a great thought.  Wouldn’t it be a huge gigantic cosmic pay-back, if Herman Cain won the Republican Nomination, and then the Presidency.  Thereby starting a karmic chain reaction  of America being ruled by Black men.  Wow, that’s a mind bender, America being ruled by a black man.  It would mean the end of the Republican Party as we know it.  God is reported to act in strange ways.


Comments on: "Herman Cain be Drivin’ Me Insane" (20)

  1. Hansi,
    I love Herman Can- even if he is German like you say. And the end of the Republican Party as we know it would be a fantastic step forward for America just as would the end of the Democrat Party.

  2. It hadn’t occurred to me until you connected the dots–have you ever heard this nonsense:


  3. This is the best version of Cain and Abel ever!

  4. There’s a butchery here right around the corner – the name is Kain (the german Cain). By the way, what happened to John McCain? Has he a brother, too?

  5. His press conference at 5 PM tonight was pretty convincing.
    But so will be the contradictions when these women speak up this week. I think he’s finished and they seem to rise and fall and Romney still there. Looks like I’ll be writing in Ralph Nader. Again. Well one thing is true if I run for president: every woman I was ever with left my bed with a smile. If they all go public that’ll be fine with me since I am getting so old I can’t even be accused of such as no one would believe it. I’d love to have a sex scandal.

    • Herm’s press conference convinced me he’s a lying sack of shit. You on the other hand are my hero. Seems like one way or another you keep us smiling 🙂

  6. God has taste and does not like salty, cheap pizza. Sorry Herman.

  7. Even Ericson of Red State has had enough of this comedy of errors….and that just about says it all for Cain.

  8. What a story. Now we know the real deal. So glad one of the missing pages of the bible showed up on this here blog. I’m all the more smarter, thanks to you.

    I think Cain is gonna cane America should he philander his way into that oval office. I’d best put in my application to be his secretary for security and all. A little spanking across the bottom ain’t never hurt all that much. I mean, these women at least lived to tell about it and so shall I.

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