mind expanding nonsense


This post is about homonyms, not to be confused with homonids which were are our ancient ape-like ancestors that preferred same sex marriages [their branch on the evolutionary tree withered quite quickly due to lack of meaningful breeding with other species]. Nope. No politics today, or I’d be writing about how The Party of No thinks itself to be The Party of Know. I just love homonyms; you know, words that sound the same in the English language but have different meanings, because I like twisting words to say one thing but mean another. Oops, getting too close to politics.

Take led and lead for example. One is the past tense of lead [not to be confused with lead], the other is a soft malleable metal whose chemical symbol is Pb. I don’t know what got me onto this subject. Probably just got a wild hair up my ass. Which is certainly better than getting a wild hare up my ass. I like taking chances, but not with undomesticated rabbits in my sphincter. That could hurt.

Homonyms are also why I like Spell-check so much. Spell-check goes to show ya just what a waste of time my grade school education was. All those spelling tests and all. Now you don’t even have to know squat about spelling, you just gotta be a good guesser (which is pretty much what I did in grade school anyway). Don’t know a word? No problem; close is good enough. Just type something in and Spell-check will finger out what you mint meant. You may think, ‘hay, thats not fare’. But as long as it doesn’t have a red wiggly line under it, my wording is correct.

When I was writing this, I was also on Skype talking to my sister in Germany. Who by the way said they were having huge Occupy Wall Street protests in all the big cities over there, like Hamburg, Hanover and Berlin. Germans occupying anything is scary for me. But anyway, Heidi chimed in with this condom conundrum: How would you write the saying: “There are three twos in the English language?” Two, Too, To? Well Spell-check froze up on me with that one, so I better go before I put a spell on you.   


Comments on: "Homonyms" (17)

  1. Very nice!! A lot of ESL learners have told me that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn.

  2. Entirely too much talking about your butt. But, Butt, Butte, Butter,

  3. I heard that the Party of No want to ban homonyms because they are same sound words!

  4. Hansi, love this post.. Accept, opps, I mean except your rear comments.

  5. My friend brought back a brass sphincter from his trip to Egypt. It is shaped like a lion with a man’s head.

  6. Your sister Heidi said:

    Hansi, thanks for your mentioning me! I love homonyms and, when we skype next time, I’ll give you a few ( e.g.: The new maid made a fair fare). Here’s a little poem for you, but you have to read it out loud:

    1 1 was a race horse
    2 1 was 1 2
    1 1 1 1 race
    2 1 1 1 2

    Like it?

  7. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    Onederful, hansi! You one me over, I mean won me over with today’s post. Have a good won!

  8. Just wondering Hansi if you knew the new gnu?

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