mind expanding nonsense

Proper Medication

A few posts back I wrote a piece about how we live in a drug culture and are being constantly bombarded by advertisements to try certain drugs.  You may have surmised that I am against drug use in all its forms.  Well oh contraire!  Not all drugs are bad, and certain medications can be beneficial and improve the quality of ones life.  So in order to be “fair and balanced”, I’ve dug into the archives to provide an opposite point of view.

If there’s anything that I learned in my 30 year career of fighting crime and dealing with mental health clients, it is that everyone functions at their best when properly medicated. Take that bipolar dual-diagnosis  meth freak for example. They’re going down the tubes fast because they’re using the wrong medication. In the business we call it “self-medicating”; but who else can you really medicate but yourself?   You can’t slip meds to other people, that’s against the law, and as a crime fighter I’m certainly against people breaking the law; bending…that’s a different story.  [There’s a bunch of folks out there I’d like to slip a chill-pill to…in suppository form].   Or consider the decompensating schizophrenic. Nothing like a shot of Haldol to bring their psychotic asses back to reality (which is a board and care facility that takes the bulk of their $550 monthly SSI check, leaving them with just enough money to buy some Bugler tobacco and sit around all day smoking roll your own cigarettes with the other zombies). Yep. It goes without saying that it is of paramount importance that everyone be properly medicated. I know I am.

You gotta be careful though and not use just any medication; even the ones that your doctor may prescribe have hidden side effects, the likes of which you wanna avoid at all costs. Just the other day I saw a commercial for some stuff that relieves irritable bowel syndrome. Now there’s a lot of stuff that irritates me, but I sure don’t want it to be my bowels. Anyway the list of dis-claimers was longer than the actual pitch to try this shit. You could die, have a stroke, suffer nausea, vomiting, and the dry-heaves, be constipated, have diarrhea, flatulence (my favorite term for farting), or even have your ass-hole catch on fire. This product was not to be used by anyone who is pregnant, has been pregnant or ever wants to get pregnant (sorry gals), nor whose mother was ever pregnant…. Use in combination with Aspirin, Tylenol, Ibuprofen or Aleve could cause anal bleeding. And the list goes on.

A proper medication should improve ones life, reduce stress, provide relief from suffering and induce a general feeling of well-being. My favorite medication does all of the above and more. And its  organic, created by God Himself. There are some side effects however. I’ve found that when overly medicated, I have a tendency to fall asleep on the couch while listening to my favorite Led Zeppelin album. There is also the danger of rushing to the refrigerator and eating everything in sight .  And then there is the laughing.  Once when my medication was just starting to have its most beneficial healing effect, I started to watch ‘The Super Hero Movie’ and laughed my ass of for two hours. My jaw hurt afterwards. So you got to be careful. But, you got to stay properly medicated, for one is only as good as his medication.


Comments on: "Proper Medication" (18)

  1. I so agree with you about meds in general. The ads on TV scare the crap out of me, the side effects seem worse than the “disease”. lol

  2. Better living through chemistry…….

  3. Great post. I was thinking about the stop-smoking drug Chantix commercials … of which the majority is about its side effects. Heck, it’s got to be healthier to smoke than to take that stuff. Meanwhile, I’m glad you didn’t have irritable bowels during your moving. Then again, laughing you ass off would have gotten rid of the problem.

  4. Makes me want to watch a Cheech and Chong movie!

  5. Organic medication, now I wonder what that could be.

  6. If there’s anything that I learned in my 30 year career of fighting crime and dealing with mental health clients, it is that everyone functions at their best when properly medicated.

    God’s truth. Although I’m not a tweaker, I am bipolar. Meds are so important. Like I’ve said before, I’m Big Pharma’s bitch. But totally willing. 🙂

    • Bipolar disorder is pretty much viewed as a chemical imbalance in the brain and can be controled with medication…just can’t be adding street drugs to the mix. 😦

  7. I can’t believe psychiatrists still give out opiate based or other mental health medications that are addictive. I take 2 mental health drugs that I depend on for balance but do not depend on physiologically as they are not addictive. With all the pill abuse which exceeds dope why are they still giving this stuff to people when there are alternatives?

  8. geezerpussrex said:

    Toar reminded me that snake oil peddlers have always been a big part of the American scene. Vanity and recreational use has longed prevailed over life-lengthening or life-saving pharmacology. Some of the erectile dysfunction cures of the past were deadly, such as goat gland implants and strychnine-based salves. Who’d worry over having a erection exceeding three hours when your left nut would swell to the size of a watermelon or old johnson would turn grey and slough off? With my high blood pressure, I’m grateful for a thriving drug industry.

  9. wow !! my arsole’s on fire and i haven’t even taken that medication .. maybe a quick suppository insertion will fix it ..

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