mind expanding nonsense


Wow…how’s that for an egotistical, self centered, ‘It’s all about me’ type of post. Well, this is Hansi’s Hallucinations, not Somebody else s Hallucinations, cause then you’d be reading Somebody else s stuff and not mine. So if it’s Hansi’s Hallucinations, then you’re in store for one of my hallucinations. Anyway this is more about Openness and being Open, than about hallucinating. Not like leaving the barn-door open, (or worse yet, leaving Your barn-door open), but about accepting new, or old stuff, in a non-judgmental manner willing to explore it, or even embrace it.

Now here’s a little secret. My real name isn’t Hansi. Close, but not the one on my genuine United States of America Los Angeles County birth certificate. Although I had a German mother, I was actually named after my grandfather on who’s birthday I was born. His name was Hans (pronounced or sounds like hands), and he was Norwegian! I grew up however being called Hansi, because that was a term of endearment used, mostly by German women, for my name. Got it figured out yet?

So I grew up as “Hansi”. That’s what I went by in grade school. That’s what the other kids knew me by. There weren’t any other “Hansis” around. I had a unique name growing up in L A  in the 50’s, you know, like right after WWII.   I really didn’t like being of German decent, didn’t like hearing German spoken in the house; I wanted to American.

In late Junior High, I left the whole Hansi thing behind and started going by my real name (rhymes with schwance). Here’s a trip, through out my professional career as a crime fighter I was know pretty much by my first name only (easier than pronouncing my last name correctly, especially for clients who called me “Mr. Hans”). No other Hansis there either. And that was the problem, I never met another person with my name, and due to egotistical stupid thinking, thought I was the only one [I’m still the only “Hansi” don’t cha know]..

That all changed when I went to Germany last Fall for a family reunion. But what blew me away the most is what I saw on German TV while at my sisters house (she lives in Germany). I saw Hansi Hinterseer. Hansi is Austrian and a former World cup alpine skier turned Pop singer. With long wavy blond hair an good looks, he had a show on that he did in Bavaria, south eastern Germany where the wear all the funny ethnic clothes like they wore in the Frankenstein movies. He was blowing them all away. Women went ga ga, holding up signs with Hansi and a heart on them. One Fraulein even threw a pair of silk ledderhosen on  stage.  Wow!  There was another Hansi, and he was knocking em dead.

I gotta tell ya though. Hansi (not me) was pretty lame. Not my favorite form of guitar-laden blues. But popped-up polka and traditional music, that my sister adamantly assured me was only liked by people down south, and not by All Germans. But that’s not the point, well maybe it is. I was digging it. Loving the tradition. Loving the German-ness of it all..

I was in the Hansi Heaven (not too unlike hog-heaven). Met my cousin of the same name, whose 88 year old mother still called him Hansi  (she called me Hansi too); he hated it.  I didn’t.  Felt good, kinda like I was home. And what I once had disdain for, opened itself to me and I embraced it. Now I’m Hansi again, that little boy, who just wants to play, eat, hangout with my buddies and pursue my fascination with all things naughty.

I started this blog a few months after my return form the family reunion in Germany. I was OK with “Hansi”. Being open to re-visiting some past stuff, and see it in a new light has been a joy; a true release. Openness and acceptance is sure working for me, hope it’s workin’ for you.


Comments on: "Hansi" (28)

  1. Hansi,
    I think your life experience pretty much explains it all. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks for the insight, there’s only one blogging Hansi and he’s been knocking us dead for a while now.


  3. Ooops, I think I’m following the wrong Hansi on Twitter. Your post answers a lot of questions!

  4. Great insight…thanx…I am jealous though….my family reunions usually break out into fist fights…..I would not be able to handle a normal one….LOL

  5. This is easily one of your best posts. Of course, I’m a girl (no, really – I am!), so I’m more prone to in-depth, reflective mushy stuff. =)

    It’s amazing how the stuff that irritate the shit out of you as a kid, you come to value as you journey through life. Craziness!

    Hey…email me when you get a chance. I want to pick at the rusty, cob webby, brain cells that were in the forefront during your active law enforcement career. =) And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that I may or may not end up gracing my own mugshot monday post! =) *snort*

  6. Quite a sketch up there. If I was teaching theo or phil 101 it would be used as a writing prompt.

  7. Hi hansi, love the post, esp this bit … “I was OK with “Hansi”.

    The drawing’s great. Love the tiny lines on his heels and his wrist. And the moon.

  8. Your sister Heidi said:

    Hansi, I want to expand your knowledge as to the origin of your name: Hans is a divergence from Johannes, one of Jesus disciples, the others being Matthias, Markus and Lukas. So, if you want, you could just call yourself John, like our cousin did when he came to America, but then you would not be so original (as you certainly are)!!! Also, you forgot to mention all the other Hans’ you met while here in Germany: Hans-Hinrich, known as Hinni, Hans-Dieter, known as H-D (pronounced Ha-Day), Hans-Peter, known as H-P (pronounced Ha-Pay), Hans-.Juergen, known as Juerg (pronounce the J like a Y) and our cousin, Hans-Herman, who prefers being known as Hannes (pronounce as Han nes). Our very dear old aunt, when referring to you and to differentiate from the other Hans’, always puts your second name on along with Hans (but this would go to far if we reveal this)!
    By the way, Hansi Hinterseer is on TV at least once a month, the last time being on Saturday evening (a two-hour show), but I still refuse to watch it, saying that I can’t get old enough or be in Germany long enough to like that stuff. If you like, I’ll happily sent you one of his many CD’s!!!

    • Thanks Heidi. Like I said, being in Germany is like being in Hansi Heaven. I’ll pass on the Hinterseer CD. I was more into his Hansi-ness than his music.

  9. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I wondered where your name came from. Now I know. You do seem to have a certain somber germanic quality to your writing and art.

    • There Must be order!!! It’s in the genes. We (pronounced Vee) Germans can’t help it. Guess it is also reflective in my writing and drawings. Can there be such a thing as orderly chaos? Only in Germany.

  10. I defenitely understand what it’s like having a unique name. I had my “awakening” visiting Norway and discovering hundreds of tombstones of dead Knuts…

  11. Great post, Hansi. You’re lucky having such a unique name. Unique here in the US of A, anyway.

  12. geezerpussrex said:

    Hansi! What are your blogdom minion to make of this revelation?!! That you even slightly should suffer from at tad of Hansi Hinterseer Envy would make Sigmund roll over in his grave. Walk straight and tall. Polka hardy lad and stay proud of that fine name of yours. Smile when you say, “Ich ben Hansi!”

    • I’m proud to be a Hansi. Speaking of Sigmund, he had a famous case in four year old Little Hans, who was afraid of horses or something, but ol’ Sigmund figured out that it was nothing but an Oedipal complex. I want my Mommy!

  13. What a cool post! And a cool name. I loved how you went back to the motherland and found that Hansi wasn’t so uncommon. And to share your name with a well-loved Pop Polka singer? Sweet!

  14. Hey, Hansi, I was commenting on another post and saw you’d dropped an opinion on it, so I thought I’d drop by and see what’s got your lederhosen in a twist lately. I appreciate the childhood reflection.

  15. A lovely tale by someone with a perfect name. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: