mind expanding nonsense

A New Law

I think my blog is turning into an “Uber Vord Press Blog” (said with German accent). They provide the platform, format and geeky technical stuff for me to have my very own blog/web-site. Cool. And again they are providing helpful prompts for future posts. More cooler. My challenge is to make my blog a Total Word Press blog so that nothing I post is original or the result of my own handiwork, but rather randomly copy and pasted sentences that tickle my fancy….Coolest.

Well I’ not gonna do that today, cause that would take a lot more mind power than I’m willing to sacrifice presently, but I am gonna use one of their prompts : “Create a new law that will make the world a more fun place.” Sounds good, however: a. California already did that in 1996 with the Compassionate Use Act. b. What a bunch of horse-shit; and a stupid idea.  I can just see it now if people actually used these posts (as I’m doing now) for some serious hear-felt writing. Possible “fun” laws from different perspectives:

  1. Everybody gets to have three cats. If you blog about your cats, I’m  probably not gonna be commenting on your blog very often. I do however like Beaglez.
  2. All Liberals must only watch Fox news. That would be fun
  3. All Conservatives must only watch MSNBC. That would be sadistically fun.

 No, I think I’d choose the ultimate, the highest law, a simple law that would put everything in proper perspective, favoring all, not just a specific group of people. I’d make a law that would make obeying any laws illegal. That would sure solve the problem of crime. It wouldn’t be a crime if it were legal; no prisons or costly jails to run; no court system (no laws = no lawyers as there’s nothing to fight over). No criminal-justice bureaucracy (oow, that’s starting to hit a little close to home). Hey, Wall Street and Corporate America have already bathed in the benefits of not obeying any laws, why shouldn’t we?

 We are not going to debate the conundrum of having a law that prohibits obeying laws, cause how are you gonna obey the do not obey any law law when law observance has been made illegal. So you end up obeying a law, when all laws are illegal, and therefore have to start obeying a law to be compliant [my favorite ‘probation’ term]. I even lost myself there, must have been in law law land, but you know what I mean, so describing it accurately is really not necessary.

There’s a similar mind-phuck that we actually use in Probation-land: Obey All Laws; the catch-all clause.   Kinda reminds me of the “Island of Lost Souls”. The classic 1937 film adaption of H G Wells’ Island of Dr Moreau, where the mad doctor who was busily changing animals into humans made an ultimate law for these tormented creatures. “What is the law?…Don’t eat flesh!”. That sure made sense for that Island Republic, I mean if I were surrounded by a bunch of former carnivores now turned vegetarian against their will, I would want them reminded of the their new dietary restrictions. Especially when you feed your former bit-bull, now an angry six foot tall meat-craving humanoid, a big helping of lettuce and bean sprouts. I’d even want them going to meetings once a day, and showing me their abstinence  chips.

 Obey All Laws was the first ‘condition’ the Judge imposed when you were granted (usually against your wishes) probation with probation terms. That was the catch-all term. Break a law and you’re breaking your probation. I had to enforce this stuff when I was fighting crime. It sure would have been a lot easier, if my ‘clients’ didn’t have that law to obey. Not only would they not be returning to Court all the time, but more importantly, I wouldn’t have to write a report about how he’s in violation of probation. A big pain in the you know what just to say, “he screwed-up, but is sorry, and doesn’t want to go to jail”.

 That would certainly make the world a “fun place” if my law were passed. And more funner yet, if every body was made to obey it (verses only the few as it is today), anarchy could ensue, but at least it wouldn’t be illegal 🙂


Comments on: "A New Law" (16)

  1. Good post and I like your laws…but I do not know if I could tolerate FOX News……my head would explode….lol

  2. I hate the cat bloggers. Like who cares? Then there’s the dopey “join me in worshiping my dopey pissy snotty ” kid blogger

  3. “he screwed-up, but is sorry, and doesn’t want to go to jail”.
    Too bad you can’t be that succinct.

    I can’t wrap my head around a lot of things that are going on in this world, so maybe just say screw it all and implement your law.

  4. I do believe that it’s starting to be whispered about that you might be slightly demented. That’s okay with me, but I figured you should know. You know that a law to not obey any law, turns back on itself into an impossible conundrum and I refuse to play this game, since it would make my head hurt again, and I just got it tylenoled up and running. Geesh.

  5. Hansi,
    I think you should give this new law a trial run and report back to us.

    • Selective obedience works. But like civil disobedience (which is OK as long as you don’t break any laws), you gotta be ready to take the consequences.

  6. Hansi, I am with you on the cat blogs, who gives a f… what somebodies baby substitute does?

  7. Hi hansi, love the bit about the former bit-bull, who’s now an “angry six foot tall meat-craving humanoid” being given “a big helping of lettuce and bean sprouts”.

    Like the king decreeing on his stool too.

  8. No blogs about children, please.

    • You mean ya don’t want to hear about my grandchildren and all the cute little things they do? Actually, I was going to post one of my eight year old grandsons’ drawing on the blog; but because he reads at a High school level, though better, cause old Grandpa would have a lot of explaining to do.

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