mind expanding nonsense

The Garden of Eden

OK, Word Press to the rescue. Once again they gave a prompt for a future post, seen only after pushing the publish tab when posting something. Guess Word Press helps them that helps themselves, cause if you don’t publish something, you won’t get the helpful hint for a future post…Nope, you’d then have to pull yourself up (blogging-wise), by your own bootstraps. That’s pretty hard and there may even be a laws of physics preventing that. Gotta keep posting don’t cha know.

Well here’s one I just couldn’t pass up: “What historical event would you attend if you were able to time travel?” Since most folks aren’t able to, or haven’t yet mastered, time travel [being spaced-out doesn’t count], this could provide some fertile ground for some hallucinogenic speculation. I’d go back to the Garden of Eden!

Talk about a rescue fantasy. Just think what would have happened if Eve didn’t partake of the forbidden fruit. I could just see myself now. Just landed in destination Eden, and there they are, our first parents Adam and Eve. They where both naked, and after thoroughly checking out Eve, I asked Adam what was going on. He said, “Not much, just the same-old same-old.” I told him not sweat it, polygamy would come into existence a little bit later.

Adam went on to explain the rules for being in Eden. There weren’t any! Just a prohibition on eating certain fruits, like what’s growing on the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. I had a hell of a time trying to explain what good and evil was.  He then showed it to . Kinda looked like an apple tree to me.

Adam then showed me the rest of Eden. Eve didn’t want to go, she preferred to hang around the tree. We went off, but I looked back to check-out Eve one more time, and saw her talking to some other guy. “Who’s that?”, I asked Adam. “Oh that’s just the serpent, and he’s talking trash to Eve. God told us not to listen to him.” Being unable to take my eyes off of Eve, I saw her reach for a piece of that prohibited fruit. All my years of Sunday School then kicked in; and remembering the Genesis story (kind of); I ran back to her yelling, ”Don’t do it! Don’t do it!”

Well, I hate to screw with your minds, but: Did she do it? Did I get there just in nick of time? Hell yes! Hansi to the rescue. I grabbed that apple out of Eve’s hand, said “woman are you out of your mind?” And saved the day. Good thing Eve didn’t eat it. [It wasn’t even an apple; kinda tasted more like a mango to me.] Eve was shocked and asked, “Who are you, you’re not the same-old same-old.” I went on to explain to them both what may have happened in world history had she eaten of the Tree. So all turned out well and we’re now living in an earthly paradise. Hansi is a hero to one and all. To the Liberals, a savior of mankind. To the Conservatives some one who upholds Biblical creationism.

And here’s the real cool part about Word Press’ help, it gives you room to be ‘creative’.  And here’s my creative part: Old Hansi liked it so much in the Garden of Edan, where they always had plenty of lotus to eat, that he never wanted to leave, and stayed forever. Ever wonder where the Germanic race came form? Hansi to the rescue. :)-


Comments on: "The Garden of Eden" (19)

  1. You may wish to consider the alternative theological interpretation of the meaning of the Garden of Eden. It says that God did not kick man out of the garden but that man kicked God out. This would explain man’s inherent separation from deity and the need for reconciliation through grace and Christ. That makes more sense to me than nonsense about apples and oranges and sin and reptiles.

  2. As I contemplate who gets killed next, I am glad you prevented evil in this world, Hansi.

  3. Now thinking on that makes my head ache. What moment in history? I really don’t know. I truly don’t. Now, i suppose I’ll be thinkin on that all day. Damn you Hansi!!!!!

  4. Very interesting. I can’t think of any historical event I would like to attend, offhand. Now, if it was a matter of being able to correct one’s past mistakes. Where would I start?

  5. Good one. I seriously doubt that the word press gremlin who came up with that writing prompt ever in their wildest imagining thought that someone would come up with a post like this in response!

    I hate to think what would have happened if she’d eaten the apple/mango!

  6. LOL! You have a great imagination indeed!

  7. Oh, Hansi, you are funny. Love this bit esp … “after thoroughly checking out Eve, I asked Adam what was going on. He said, “Not much, just the same-old same-old.” I told him not sweat it, polygamy would come into existence a little bit later.”

    Mind if I tweet it? This one and the Word Press one? Not promising hordes, though my followers have gone up 4 notches … to 10.

  8. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    I love that bottom sketch, Hansi – it is very nicely done! If I could be transported back to the Garden of Eden, I’d give Eve a shake and tell her to stop acting like such a damn subservient ninny. I’d slap some assertiveness into her. Then we all wouldn’t be in this mess we’re in thanks to you guys. 🙂

  9. I agree with the Garden of Eden…..I want to meet Adam’s first wife, Lilith…..from all I have heard she was a real bitch and sexy as hell…..my kinda woman……

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