mind expanding nonsense

Word Press

As any serious blogger can tell I’ve got a bottom of the line, freebie Word Press Blog web-site. I wasn’t so sure about this blogging thing when my son set up this site, and didn’t want to plunk down twelve bucks for my own URL domain for something I thought might just be a passing fancy [Also Being “Master of Your Own Domain” reminded me too much of the Seinfeld episode about masturbation and which of the four friends could hold out the longest].  But, things change and I love my blog.   I am master of my own domain.

Got to tell ya that although it seems like old Hansi is a high-tech kinda guy. I must confess I’m not. In fact, I thought buying a Dell computer in the late 90’s was a total waste of money. What the hell ya gonna use it for? [I did have the foresight to order an up-graded the sound card with better speakers and a sub-woofer]. Attitudes change (or were adjusted) when a Buddie of mine turned me on to Napster. It wasn’t but a matter of days before I was running out to buy me a CD burner and calling the Phone Company for DSL.

But, I don’t have a cell phone. Don’t do Face Book, and have never “Tweeted” before in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I had a cell phone when I was a P O and out in the field dealing with mentally ill clients. I mean like I had the Crisis Team on speed dial. But Twitter??? What the hell would I tweet about? “Hey everybody…I woke up this morning, took a dump and feel great. Glad I didn’t die before I woke up.” Naw…I prefer to ‘blog.’ And maybe I’ll do a post about what a total mind-phuck that little child’s prayer is all about: “Now I lay me down to sleep, Pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake. Pray the Lord my soul to take.” My god, teaching young children that they could be victim of sudden death syndrome, so they better take out some insure and cover themselves either way. Nothing like scaring the shit out of them. Ever wonder why young children sometimes have a hard time going to sleep? They’re scared of dying!!!

Will not do Face Book. I wanna stay under the radar. And Face Book sounds like a signed confession to me. Everything you do on a computer goes on your Permanent Record (now I know what that was we were warned about in junior high school).  A blog is more anonymous.  But please don’t take me for being a wee bit conspiratorial.  Nope….I work in a bureaucracy that monitors people: The Probation Department. I AM BIG BROTHER. But…Big Brother don’t have the money or resources to just monitor everyone; only the high profile guys get scrutiny. On a 3000 person first-time Drunk Driver caseload, who gets attention? The guys out there picking up their second DUI’s, and the fools showing up at Alcohol School drunk. There ain’t man-power enough to track much more than that [unless of course when old Hansi goes the the House of Pain to do some post retirement crime-fighting.  Then people are getting their non-compliant asses kicked.]

Back to Word press ( I can maintain a train of thought, it’s just the many stations where it sometimes stops to take on new passengers). So I do like technology, but only insofar as it works for my own benefit, like increasing my music library and posting my art-work on the web. The blow mind for me is Digitally photographing a drawing, taking the memory chip out of the camera and sticking it in the computer, downloading the image to my computer, where it is Photo-Shopped for cropping, adjusting hues, sized and saved, and made available to post on the WW Web. Now that’s pretty trippy. All that technology just to show a crude pencil drawing on paper to the whole world. It’s like listening to your old Elvis Presley records  on the best stereo money can buy.

Well them folks at Word Press make all this available for free; you can buy upgrades to ‘personalize’ your blog [I mean like if this ain’t personal what is?]. But that requires a ‘purchase’ and purchasing stuff can be expensive. And here we finally arrive at the point. Word Press also provides inspirational prompts for post ideas like: Write a post about your dinner last night, or What is your favorite sound? How nice and helpful…hmmm, maybe I will buy an upgrade.

So, being ever ready for some ridicule, here’s my story about dinner last night:

The Wife had something special she wanted to try and make for dinner.  What a treat; I went to the garden and picked some of the organic lettuce we grow, along with a carrot and  tomato. Returning with our  garden bounty, I made a salad.  We shared a glass of Merlot; I got a little flirty. Thought to myself, “Hmmm, wonder if that Cialis pill I took a month ago still has any residual effect?” Guess I was hoping for an ‘acid flash-back’ in my pants. Well when everything was done and the salad tossed with a homemade olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing. We filled our plates, and proceeded to the living room where we sat in our own Lazy-Boy recliners. [ Now you know you died and went to geezer heaven when you have His and Hers recliners]. We sat in front of the TV, I grabbed the remote, clicked on the news, and after finding out what was going on in the world, we both barfed.

Hey…Come on now, you think I’m gonna write about dinner? Give me a break! There’s much more important stuff to address 🙂


Comments on: "Word Press" (44)

  1. Hansi, since you aren’t tech-averse, here’s another tool for your drawing toolkit…amd it’s free!


    • Hey thanks. I checked it out. Looks interesting. I’m still ‘old school’ or maybe that should be ‘old fool’ when it comes to drawing 🙂

  2. His and hers recliners- What more do you need?

  3. Have not, and probably will never tweet. Also have not succumbed to the temptation of the recliner. However, I do have a television in my bedroom. Doze off to the news.

  4. flash back in your pants? I figure you are a bit like my husband. I must tell him at least a couple of times a day, “you nutz!”. Bet your wife does too.

  5. I use my blog as a dashboard. It shows me everyone thing in my blog list, a snippet, and the most recent posts on top.

    I want the better pages support of WordPress, but I am unwilling to give up this feature.

    I have a WordPress blog, also, John Myste Responds and I am also a contributor at Mad Mike’s America, a word press news site.

    I have experience with both, and both have bugs.

    Blogger “loses” blogs frequently. I know two people it happened to personally. That is not a good bug either.

  6. I don’t have a cell phone either. 😀

  7. I have something that some would call a cell phone. It’s shaped right, has little buttons like a dial pad…a screen…is shaped like what some call a flip-phone…has a bunch of electronics in it…

    But since I haven’t charged it up in over a year, and since my time is up unless I purchase more minutes, I don’t think I really have a cell phone. I call what I have “a paperweight”.

  8. In high school creative writing class some friends and I decided to fool the teacher by writing a story in which the sentence order was determined by the roll of a die. This post achieves something very much like the effect we were going for!

  9. Wives? What’s that? (Its been a while…LOL)

  10. It’s doing exactly what I want it to do…leaving me alone.

  11. Wow, where to start?

    The drawing with the trusty love rocket on standby? (but what is that woman doing?)

    The train taking on new passengers?

    The post-retirement crime fighting?

    Love it all …

    Too bad you’re not on Twitter … it’s a lot of fun and could be even better reading tweets about acid flashbacks in pants.

  12. You should definitely stay away from Twitter. As a matter of charity. I don’t think they’re near ready for your particular version of, uh… the truth (?)

    Plus it’s really addictive.

    Really, really addictive.

  13. As an opinionated SOB….a blog is the best place for me or anyone……and Twitter is a great spot for getting up-to-date news without waiting for a website to update……and two days a week I take a bit of Zen and post on other things besides the circus of Washington and the world…..

  14. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    I’ve succumbed to Twitter, Facebook but that’s it. WordPress is a great platform until it goes wonky as it has since yesterday. They better fix the bug soon….

    • I hate it too when ya have a hot post you just know people are dying to read and Word Press craps out on ya. I guess you get what you pay for.

  15. “Hey everybody…I woke up this morning, took a dump and feel great. Glad I didn’t die before I woke up.”

    Hansi, you are not too far off the mark with that statement and the usual Facebook comments. Although I did open a Twitter and Facebook account I never use them. Basically I just don’t get it and can’t see the point.


  16. Your wording “Well, when everything was done….” left me with a glimmer of hope that just maybe last’s month Cialis came through for you. But of course you meant dinner, right?

  17. I have a cell phone Hansi, but I don’t use it. Does that count?
    Same with Twitter and Facebook, I have accounts but I don’t look at them. It must be an age thing, social networking seems important to young people.

    Leamington Spa, England

    • John, I don’t know if having a cell and not using it counts. Maybe it’s like have some old piece exercise equipment at home like a treadmill, but prefer going outside for a long walk, or in your case, a run. What I’m curious about is how is life without blogging? You haven’t been posting for a while. Miss it? I’m starting to burn out on the whole blog thing is why I’m asking.

  18. sorry hansi, i’ve read this way back when it was posted and failed to comment, comment i will. you will have to get a twitter account and then i can invite you to a triberr tribe called (you can guess) tbaoo .. the beauty is that you get to tweet my posts and i yours automatically – along with the other tribe members .. come on you old bugger 🙂 check out http://www.triberr.com/

    • Doesn’t Twitter require a cell phone? I don’t have one. No tweets, and life is sweet.

      • no mate, you don’t need a phone, you auto post your hallucinations to your twitter account and silly buggers like me follow and read them. when you have such a wonderful tool, you can accept my invite to my tbaoo triberr tribe. all you do is go to http://www.twitter.com sign up for free account and the world is your oyster 🙂 pearls away

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