mind expanding nonsense

Workers Paradise

Workers Paradise. Remember that one? That’s what I also used to call “The House of Pain”; the probation department I worked in for thirty years. The House of Pain, as you know, was evil Dr Moreau’s laboratory in the classic movie “Island of Lost Souls” based on the H G Wells even more classic novel “The Island of Dr Moreau”. That’s were he forcefully changed the nature of wild animals (me) into acting like men and behaving in a manor contrary to their Inherent nature (still me).

So work became know amongst my co-workers as the “House Of Pain:. It was also known as “Workers Paradise”. Even more arcane, that’s what the Soviet Union [formerly known as The Evil Empire] called their centralized planning communist  economy. Boy, funny how a rigid adherence to  ideological principals that clearly weren’t working turned that place into a pile of shit; five year plans notwithstanding.  Although everybody had a job (unlike the good old USA where people are eating dung because of unemployment) , their wages were meager and there was basically nothing for them to buy. And anything worth buying was a piece of shit and cost you three or four years wages [ no credit crunch in Workers Paradise, but also no credit].

Just to be clear now, Workers Paradise, as good as it sounded, was really Workers Hell. And everybody knew it. Having a love affair with sarcasm, along with a fascination phor phucking with words, I therefore couldn’t help but call my place of employment “Workers Paradise”. Wonder if that’s why I never got promoted? And after a good roll in the hay with Lady Sarcasm, can’t help but wanna have a long smoke of some “Double Speak”. George Orwell really nailed that one. “Less is More” and “Peace through War”. I don’t think even Eric Cantor could have said it better.

Well, I’m not going to the House of Pain today. “What, I though you were retired Hansi.” I am, but I went back to work. Ya see, I’m a “Consumer”, and if you’re a Consumer, ya got to consume stuff. Now consumption don’t come cheap, gotta pay for it or borrow money from them Chinese guys so you can live in “Consumers Paradise”.  And having spent thirty years in the good doctor’s House of Pain, all my natural instincts have been bred out of me, so all that I could do was to walk up-right, not eat flesh, and go back to work and start consuming stuff.

Well right now I’m in Retirement Paradise. And its a trip to reflect on all the double speak I’ve been hearing lately. The truth is, the Truth is being bent out of shape by some folks, and although it kinda sounds correct, it’s nothing but a bunch of double speak. I’m especially fond of this one: “I’ve got my principles”.   Well who doesn’t?  Having principles infers that you are being driven by a higher power, and values far superior to your opponents.  Real Meaning:  I’m such a rigid ideologue that I’m willing to see everything crumble to the ground in order to get my way. “Got to cut the growth of the government; we’re mortgaging our children’s future” is another good one. Yep that dough for senior health care and retirement is going down the shitter alright; not to mention them Pell grants and money wasted on public education. But the money going to corporate American (oil subsidies and the like), why that’s not Spending, that’s growing jobs. Sounds good? Maybe if we all just wanted less from our government we’d really all have more!

There’s more, and I could go on about taxing the rich, the supposed election mandates of 2010 and our constant state of war [now we’re really getting Orwellian], but I’m in Retirement Paradise today. And if things get totally stinky, I think I’m gonna take my own advice and just call Bullshit!!! and get on with life.


Comments on: "Workers Paradise" (17)

  1. Of course the workers’ paradise of the Soviet Union was a fraudulent myth and even understood as one by the comrades living under that gloomy umbrella. But with the criminal exploitation by the megacorps and the megabanks that has impoverished our society financially and spiritually the Marxist mantra “All power to the workers” sounds increasingly inviting to me. “Dictatorship of the workers” sounds so very more democratic that this capitalist system. WORKERS UNITE (retirees included of course)

    • Yeah man….sure seems like the average guy is getting squeezed these days. I make light of my former career, but in some ways it was workers paradise: steady job, pension plan, paid vacation. sick leave. Hey I’m going back. Actually I did; part-time, limited term…it’s great. Got a retired teacher buddy who’s doing the same thing. Only part-time of course.

  2. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    So… are you retired or not? Did you quit for good or are you taking some time off?

    The hardest thing to do, amidst all this political nonsense and vile behavior, is to get on with one’s life. It can really get to you. I’m taking the day off and I’m determined to do fun things this weekend. We all need a break now and then. Frankly, I hope the Republicans in Congress get a long one come 2012.

    • Actually I have been retired since 2004. But after six months of retirement, I went back to work for probation as extra-help working in a juvenile correctional facility (jail for kids). A bunch of us retired P O retirees were suckling that tit, when we all got layed off in 2009 during the Bush (I haven’t forgotten) Financial crisis. After two years of full retirement And Social Security benefits (I ain’t no socialist); I had the opportunity to go back part time again, and at top step DPO pay level. Being a patriotic American Capitalist Pig, I couldn’t say no to easy money; so, I’ve now come out of retirement twice now. but I’m only doing it for the money, and not because I live and breath Corrections. This has turned into a retirement living mini-post, and I usually don’t go there, unless it’s about lascivious retirement living, but retirement is a big issue for us of a certain age group, and the stuff that’s going on in our country politically could have a mega impact on every-bodies retirement plans. Being politically active is the only power we have; and it works, and people are throwing the ideologues out of office. Vote Baby Vote!

      Sorry to lay this rant on ya.

  3. Good luck my friend and hope you will continue to post….too many good people have decides to take a sabbatical from writing…..the retirement thing…..I was forced into retirement after my leg was crushed the day after Xmas in 2005, working in a Katrina ravaged housing project…..retirement sucks….but I do have more time for the stuff I love….politics and political thought (when there actually is some)……

    • Thanks…I’ll keep posting, but with no self-imposed pressures. That would be too much like Work. Being forced into retirement can be a drag. Hope you find your way in retirement, and are able to look back and think it was the best thing that ever happen (not the accident of-course). Seems like you’re doing the stuff ya love, and I love it too; I check your blog daily

  4. Nice summary. What are you doing with your retirement nest egg while the guys in Washington roll the dice on the future of the global economy?

    • Well I’m staying out of bonds, that’s for sure. Actually the big retirement frustration for me is the artificially low interest rates, near zero in money market funds, here in the States. The only real returns available, stocks, seem pretty risky right now, and at my age I’m risk averse. Hope it’s not so bad in NZ.

  5. Instead of thinking about how Orwell’s dystopia is our reality, buy yourself something pretty. 😉 Works for me, and I’m stimulating the economy.

  6. gotta laugh, hansi … “And having spent thirty years in the good doctor’s House of Pain, all my natural instincts have been bred out of me, so all that I could do was to walk up-right, not eat flesh, and go back to work and start consuming stuff.” Love the drawings too.

  7. But Hansi, your work at the House of Pain was a bulwark protecting your fellow citizens from anarchy and chaos. We thank you for your service.

    • You’re welcome. Yes it is a public service, and it pays well. Let’s not confuse it though with “community service”, a sanction ordered by the Court for low-level offenses.

  8. Retirement Paradise sure beats Workers Paradise whatever House Of Pain you inhabited.

    A-U-L, UK


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