mind expanding nonsense


I love old words and sayings  from my youth that are no longer in common usage, yet are still highly descriptive to those of us still familiar with them. Poontang is one of my favorites [bet ya know what that is], along with the expression, “I’ll be dipped in shit”.  A saying of dismay, dumbfoundedness, or sudden realization that what you though was true, isn’t.  All highly colorful, yet still loaded with imagery.

Skank is in this category. The Urban dictionary defines skank as a derogatory term for a (usually younger) female, implying trashiness or tackiness, lower-class status, poor hygiene and flakiness, and a scrawny pock-marked sort of ugliness. Could also imply promiscuity, and although applicable to all races, is usually reserved for use describing white trash.

Wow…No wonder Michele Bachmann got so upset when Chris Wallace asked her if she was a flake. She probably knew from a past life as a trailer park welfare queen that Chris was asking if she was a skank. Shame on you Chris. She’s definitely not a skank; she’s a media Ho. Can’t leave out Sarah; she deserves to be special too. Sarah is borderline skank material in my opinion. She’s got tackiness down ( can’t get more tacky than forcing autograph seeking fans to buy  daughter Bristol’s new book “How I got knocked up by Levi, but am now a teen activist”, before signing her own).  “You mean I gotta buy two books to get one autograph? I’ll be dipped in shit.”

I can’t wait till Sarah throws her hat into the ring for president. Having Michele steal the lime-lite has got to be killin’ Sarah. And although Michele insisted there’d be no mud-wrestling match between them, I think Sarah would win hands down at wet t-shirt night.

Now ladies, don’t get all upset at Hansi for being a sexist pig. I believe in equal opportunity ridicule and hope to soon publish a post on Sleaze, the male counter part to skanks, but more commonly know as Sleaze-balls. You girls know one when ya see one, especially if ya watch the Fox News channel. All those guys look sleazy to me. And the women (especially poor Greta Van) are either real skanks or way over on the trashy side. Must be all that ‘big hair’ that’s driven em red-necks to Fox. And if you’re fortunate enough to get Good Morning LA, you can watch Jillian give the weather report. She’s got skank going on with big dose of sleaze; a pretty toxic mix for us old guys.

While we’re on men, here’s a little secret: we all think with our dicks.  Yep!  In fact we are no smarter than a fish.  If it’s cheesy and smells interesting; we’ll bite it.  If it’s shiny with sparkles and even some feathers (like a lure); we’ll hit on it.  Maybe that’s why they call those things in our pants  trouser trout.

You know what?   Now it’s your turn to take a little dip in some shit with these tacky limericks:

There once was a fellow named Hank

Who fell in love with a trailer-park Skank

His sweet little darlin’

Loved to give a good schnarlin’

So the rest of the trash thought her top rank.


There once was a gal named Joleen

Who lived the life of a welfare queen.

When she ran out of stash

And needed some cash

She just had another kid, is that so obscene?


There once was a man named Frank

Whose wife was a naughty little skank

She liked to get kinky

Hot, wet and a little stinky

So she slipped him Viagra nightly as a prank.


Comments on: "Skank" (24)

  1. You’re still a sexist pig! LOL good post

  2. Hansi, we called them ‘slappers’ or ‘slags’ and there’s plenty of them.

    A-U-L, UK


  3. When I first saw the title , I thought perhaps you had come up with a new meaning for the word. But, no, same as it was in my younger days. There were always a few of them around in high school, and the numbers seemed to increase as I got older. I do think there is an age when the term seems no longer applicable. Not quite sure what it is, though. Thanks for the memory?

    • Ah yes….memories of the good ol days. I think a skank is still a skank. At what time do they turn into your ex-wife is the big question one has to ask themselves 🙂

  4. I would hope that they don’t become skanks until they become eexes. I would think that you have better taste than to actually marry a skank. But, it’s widely known that you don’t really know someone till after you marry them.

  5. “At what time do they turn into your ex-wife is the big question one has to ask themselves” … haha.

    Love the second drawing esp. Boob tube and all. Did you call them that?

    • Boob tube…love it. No they were called tube tops over here. Thankfully they have gone out of style. At least in California. Now in some parts of the south, the gals may still be wearin’ them.

      • i’m not sure if i should admit this, but i was wearing a “tube-top” today. i have never claimed to b in-style.
        i like your drawings. very human. despite your tongue, u have a sense of presence that is tasteful and rich. (i don’t mind your humor either). keep on.

      • Thanks for stopping by. A tube top once in a while is not such a bad thing. It’s when you make it an everyday part of your wardrobe that ya might find yourself getting into trouble; or hanging around with some very “interesting” people. Stay out of trailer parks!

  6. When I was in school I used to work summers at a yarn dyeing factory. One year I had a boss who, although I didn’t know it then, would have been a skank. She had the richest vocabulary of anyone I’ve ever met and I think it was from her that I first heard “I’ll be dipped . . .” She also threatened a guy by saying (interspersed expletives deleted) “I’ll stomp a mud puddle in your chest and then I’ll stomp it dry.” Needless to say, it was hot and smelly in the factory and she always had a interesting metaphor such as “It’s hotter than a two peckered goat today.”

    A memorable character.

    • Wow…People like that played a big part in my formative years, and have made me the man I am today 🙂 Too bad your former skank boss doesn’t have a Blog….would be some good readin’.

      • I agree! How can young people develop a management style (and realistic sense of self worth) today if in their formative years they haven’t had someone tell them “You do that again and I’ll put my foot so far up your ass your breath will smell like shoe polish.” Or heard that same person describe a colleague as “so dumb he couldn’t pour shit out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.”

        Funny you should mention her having a blog because last night I was thinking I should do a series of blog posts about that old job and some of the characters I met and the vocabulary I learned. I would sort of have to rebrand my blog but it might be worth it.

      • Just do it Thomas. Everybody can relate to persons and experiences one had at former jobs I’d like to see such posts, and for you it might even be some sweet revenge.

  7. Hansi,
    It’s too bad that your long years in law enforcement have given you such a negative perspective. Have you forgotten the old single days when it was always a relief to find a skank after a long and fruitless night of prospecting. Or were you the golden boy that always found treasure?

  8. I like your drawings a lot, Hansi! I’ll definitely come back for some new! 🙂

  9. I’ve never heard the expression “I’ll be dipped in shit” before

  10. My dad used to say “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle”

  11. I thought skank was WW2 as in: We skanked the German skankmarine and skunked up them Skrauts real skankin good. ( I know good is an adj which modifies a noun and it should be the adv “well” But that is how they said it and I wanted you to sknow I’m not illiterskank.

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