mind expanding nonsense

As you can tell by the banner above, today is July 4th. Happy Birthday America! And what better way to observe the “Fourth” than to reflect upon our greatness, and our Favorite Nation status with the Almighty. Now this may offend some of my international readers, like you guys in Australia and the UK, but not to worry, God likes your countries too. Just not as much as He likes the US of A.

Back in World War I and II, you had good Lutheran or Catholic boys shooting at each other for the sake of their countries. Each praying their asses off not to get killed but to kill their brethren on the other side. That was probably a bit of a conundrum for God. But he showed His true colors (red, white, and blue) and let America win twice. So there you have it. I don’t know what He was doing during Korea and Vietnam. Maybe it was too obvious that those countries were filled with a bunch of heathen, and we had to figure that one out for ourselves.

Now it appears that it’s God versus Allah. I don’t know about this one. Obviously God and Allah don’t get along very well. I personally think God feels Allah is an impostor, trying to assume His former Jehovah phase, and acting accordingly. Those were the days. Quite obvious who God did and didn’t like back then, with some real ass kickin’ thrown in to boot.

Just a word about this Buddha guy. He may have achieved God-status, just like Jesus , but appears totally dis-interested in what’s going on here below. All his pictures and statues show him asleep most of the time. And all his favorite countries haven’t amounted to much until they started observing all our western values.

So, as we celebrate America’s birthday by not going to work, over eating, getting drunk and blowing up shit [hey that sounds like every day in Afghanistan], let us be thankful, and rest assured that we (sorry, us Americans only) are God’s favorite country. Never mind some disturbing signs otherwise. He winks at this separation of church and state nonsense. Yes and even tolerates them Hollywood liberals, who do occasionally make a good film about His son Jesus.

Happy Fourth of July everybody. Now go out there, get loaded and blow up something. God loves you…..If, you are a legal US citizen with birth certificate to prove it.

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OK, just so nobody misunderstands.  This was my attempt at a big Ha Ha, a parody: bitter sarcasm, from the mouth of the fool.

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Comments on: "God’s Favorite Country" (16)

  1. It does characterize American feelings of superiority very well esp that God is one of us (actually God is Italian and Protestant like me). Suggest arms on cowgirl too long unless they represent America’s “over reaching”.

    • Hey…I thought God was German and Lutheran like me. Oops, it’s the Pope that’s German. Those are the long arms of the law on that gal.

  2. Buddha sleeps while God and Allah duke it out. Today, we declare that we won.

    I believe They’re all one in the same, but we get dibs on the “real” One on days like today.

    Happy 4th Hansi!

  3. Happy Independence day from over here in Blighty. I shall sit here and try and reflect on what a land grabbing evil empire we were and be glad you fought for your independence and that you didn’t turn out like us……….great post. Happy feasting!

    • Thanks and I’m glad there’s no hard feelings that the U S took over the role of evil land grabbing empire from you guys. I continue to enjoy your work 🙂

  4. Hansi,
    Did you miss the memo about separation of church and state?

    • The memo was only circulated in certain areas of the States. Happy 4th…Now go out and blow up something.

  5. Love the cowgirl. You seem to have a eanchant for the female western figure. Enjoy your writing and drawings. Happy Fourth!!!

  6. Congratulations Hansi, Happy 4th of July. You’ve done quite well for yourself since you stopped paying Britain our taxes. It’s hard to argue with anything you said, especially as you had your tongue in your cheek. I’m not sure about the Hollywood versions of Jesus, my favourite was a good old British film “Jesus of Nazareth” with Robert Powell.

    Your lady cow girl does have long arms but that makes her more elegant. Keep those drawings coming. Are they all new or do you use old ones as well?

    John
    Leamington Spa, England

    • Good to hear from ya John. The drawings are a mix of old and new, depending on the post. I’m not familiar with Powell’s version of “Jesus of Nazareth”. But I know how it ends 🙂

  7. Well us Canuckleheads enjoyed blowing shit up and getting pissed drunk (on stronger than American beer) on July 01 for our Canada Day as well!
    Hope you partaked on your Canada Day!

  8. Hansi, you have a great way with the female form – perhaps you have always had a way with the female form!

    Bill
    A-U-L, UK

    http://billmurney.com/blog/great-british-comedians-part-3/

    • Thanks Bill….I’d like to believe that I’ve always had my way with the female form. Unfortunately it’s been the same one for the past forty years 🙂

  9. thankfully they banned fireworks in many states – you need all the fingers and trees you have – belated happy 4th of july – 😉

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