mind expanding nonsense

I Hate Work

It’s been a little over a month now. And I came to the conclusion that I Hate Work! This isn’t just one of them “I’m having a bad day” rants. But an real epiphany; an “AH Ha” moment; or more correctly [I am in Corrections you know], an “I can’t stand this crap” moment.

This morning I got up, published a blog post, made nice comments on everyones blog, took out the garbage, puttered in the garden, and at 7:00 am, before getting on my bike to go to work [Exxon can take their $4.00 a gallon gas and government subsidies and shove them up their corporate arses], Came to the realization that I basically hated every minute of my thirty year career as a Probation Officer. I didn’t want to be there, do that (bust people for drug use?), and at every opportunity, looked for ways to shave time off the beginning and endings of my days. Oh yeah, and while there, practice as much non-doing as possible. Hey I wasn’t a slouch, but really highly productive. I just viewed work as something undesirable and utterly distasteful that I wanted to get over with ASAP, so I had more time to Play.

What was cool when I was really fighting crime, and not this post retirement sit on your ass all day in front of a computer  gig (sounds like blogging), was when I got to go out into the “field”.  AKA make home-calls out in the community. Usually people on probation have to come into the office for their monthly “reporting”. That’s a ten minute charade wherein they lie their asses off, and I feign some real concern. Everyone is happy, especially the probationers if I don’t make them pee into a little jar to see if they be usin’ drugs. Hey those bloodshot, droopy eyes with constricted pupils, not to mention indifferent demeanor, are probably symptoms of the flu, Not drug use, and I don’t want to get sick.

Anyway, going out in the field is how we get to see our clients in their natural habitat. Kinda like a National Geographic Special, except without cameras, but with Kevlar vests, pepper spray and handcuffs. It was also a good way to waste away a day going to coffee, a few stores, or just park the County Car and take a nap. An actual home call was a quick in and out affair (not to be confused with office romance) and over with fast. I was never armed, so Officer Safety was a big priority. If a situation even looked bad, I was out of there and fast. Let the Cops deal with them.

Most of my clients were never home anyway. And those that were, especially juveniles, were often passed out on a couch, in a darkened room with I Love Lucy blasting on the TV. I even had a theory at the time that the “Lucy” theme (come on now, you know it by heart) subliminally caused sociopathic behavior in young adults. That’s all these ‘fools’ seemed to watch: I Love Lucy. Oh..Lucy. Ohhh Ricky. Barf!

So Hansi…Why are you now working again?” Greed, fear of the economy…a challenge? Going back to work was kinda like having sex again after a long dry spell. Although the sex in Probationland is usually anal in nature, it did feel good going back again. Still had my old chops. It was like the once ya learn to ride a bicycle analogy….ya never forget. But more like the date from hell, big mistake analogy when ya wake up in the morning, roll over in bed, look over at what’s snoring next to ya and say, “What The Hell Have I Done?”

Here’s the real irony. In this lousy economy where people are dyin’ to get good paying jobs. This one falls into my lap, and I hate it. Even more ironic. My daughter (who was once a crime fighter like her Daddy, but now is a Private Investigator working for defense attorneys) also teaches Criminal Justice classes at a Vocational College, where kids are paying big bucks to become probation officers and the like. Here I sit and gotta think: Be careful for what you ask for.

Hey…this didn’t turn out to be so bad after all. One more trip to the bathroom and I’m outta here for the day.  Life is all about balance.  And if ya work in a toxic environment, one must gain their balance before it takes it toll on you.


Comments on: "I Hate Work" (16)

  1. Hansi, when you reach retirement age, doing something you hate, even for money, has got to be a no goer.

    Work is not for the likes of us, it’s for the younger generation, you need more playtime not work, after all it is one of those 4 letter words we shouldn’t be using.

    A-U-L, UK

    • You’re right Bill. I guess I learn the hard way. But work has provided a lot of good fodder for the old Blog, but even blog is turning into one of those four letter words. Thanks for the wake-up call.

  2. Would it ruin your day if I told you that you actually make being a PO sound moderately interesting?

    • Oh it’s interesting…at times. And before I retired in 2004, some days were actually pretty cool with the mental health caseload I had. Mental health meaning crazy people. I was out in the field all day, and actually doing some good. But now in post retirement, it’s boring drudgery, that despite the good money, severely cuts into my free time.

  3. Hansi my friend just dropping of my new current resting spot, it’s a bit of a change from the last one.

    Oh, also for your work woes and highs may I suggest a state of various degrees of oblivious. I tend to operate on the level completely most of the time and I am doing just fine but sometimes I notice those around me begin to mind and I have to take the time to dial it up another level to get through the grind.

  4. I hope your day gets better. I don’t think anything I say will make it better, I usually have a knack of making things worse (or so my other half). I hope you find some way of speeding up time to be where you want to be! (let me know if you do). 🙂

    • Thanks for the encouragement. Speeding up time at my age basically means a race to death 🙂 I guess I just gotta make work fun. It does provide for some interesting Blog material; and that’s one of the reasons I went back.

  5. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    As I get closer to retirement age, I think I just have less tolerance for the day to day drudgery. Mondays are horrible now – they never used to be. There’s so much more I want to do and there’s so much that my job doesn’t give me in the way of satisfying interaction with coworkers. I could do the job at home if they’d let me but gawd forbid they let a state employee show some independence and unchain her from her desk.

    • State and County employees are indeed chained to that desk. Hope you have a good retirement/pension system in your State. It will prove to be well worth it, and throw in social security at 62, and life could be sweet (it is for me despite my moanin’ and groanin’). Going back to work was not a financial necessity for me, but more of mental thing. At age 64, I found my ability to earn serious money evaporated. Probation is the only “skill” I have (my wonderful, astounding art notwithstanding:)) So going back was more of an opportunity to make serious chump change, while seeing if I still ‘had it’. Well after a few weeks, I still had it but don’t care anymore. Hang in there and maximize your retirement as best you can (stand it). it’ll be worth it.

  6. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    Awesome drawing by the way!

  7. Hansi,
    Several questions come to mind. If you don’t need the money and the PO work doesn’t fulfill, then what could you do with that time that would blow your mind? Taking your drawing to a higher level- not necessarily with the idea of selling it but pushing your skills (maybe mastering those frustrating hands). I believe that you mentioned pottery. What challenge does that present. Is there an organization where you could volunteer and really help people instead of just filling in the forms. Or is there something that you could do with the money you earn that would let you do something really special? It’s your life and it’s dribbling away.

    • Yeah…I made that sound really bad. Basically I do hate work, hated college (but not college life) and generally dislike having to do anything I don’t want to. I did choose to go back, and for the money that would enable me to pay for gas to go fishing in Lone Pine as often as I want. Also for the wife and I to travel with out dipping into savings. The real thing is; Work can be a toxic environment, so if ya go back, you gotta know what you’re getting back into and treat it accordingly. I’ve been greedy, and working too many hours; I’m cutting back and will see what happens. The real trip is the challenge coming out of full retirement can pose, and whether it’s worth it or not. Many a peer of mine/ours will unfortunately find themselves working into their late 60’s and beyond due to lack of financial planning. I’m not in that camp, but sure enjoy making a buck, not to mention all the good material I’ve cranked out for the Blog about The House of Pain. This probably more a subject for your retirement Living Blog: Working after retirement. I thought I’d totally lost the ability to earn serious money being an unskilled laborer in the probation dept. So regaining that ability was something of a thrill. Oh how soon we forget the cost! Actually my life is pretty full (of shit sometimes) but generally good. Work has been a unique experiment. Hope I don’t blow myself up in the process.

  8. my bride makes churns that “snoring in bed next to you” thought a lot. the need for mundane work to pay the bills may frighteningly apply in my house as well .. 😉

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