mind expanding nonsense

I got an STD

OK….I never thought it could happen to me…my gawd, an STD.   At my age.  I always tried to be careful, despite my still juvenile fascination with sex and all things anal.  Guess I wasn’t careful enough, or perhaps I was just careless.  An STD!  What am I gonna do now?  Tell the Wife???

I normally don’t share a lot of personal stuff here at Hallucinations.  But getting an STD as a result of my blogging, is truly Bizarre but true.   So here’s the scoop.  Jewel over at Really?! Wait! What?  Gave me this.  It’s an award, not a sexually transmitted disease, it’s the Sexy & Talented Diploma.

Did you really think Me, at my age, contracted VD or something.  No way, Too old; too wise.  What gave you that impression?  Do only naughty, dirty minded  people read my crap?

Anyway check it out on Jewels bog for the gorie details.  Look for her A Creepy Confession post.

Here’s a story about myself as portrayed in classic movie form; something you got to do if ya accept the award.

Hansi was King of the Jungle, and although walled off from it’s native inhabitants, had the whole island to himself.   Until….a film maker with a really hot-chick actress butted in.

Well old Hans, thinking with his schwance, couldn’t keep his hand off the actress, and ended up captured, taken to New York, and there being but upon display for the amusement of the rich.

Hansi burned out on that real fast, and once again letting his schwance be his guide, grabbed the chic (drama queen that she was), and high-tailed it over to the Empire State Building.  The rest of the story is not so sweet.  Needless to say King Hans landed on his schwance.  The rest is history.

Oh yea…I’m supposed to mention the person who came up with this big idea;  Adventures in Estrogen.  Been there, and I think ya might like it.  A little Estrogen always adds some excitement to your life.

While still in a festive, award winning mood.  And with all things  Hans and Schwance firmly ensconced.  Lets take a swan dive into the sewer with this little nursery crime rhyme:

Old king Hans

Had a very old schwance

A very old schwance had he.

It caused him such a fright

To get up three times a night

To just stand there, waiting to go pee.


Comments on: "I got an STD" (8)

  1. Very well deserved!!

  2. Your sister Heidi said:

    Hey Hans, your German is getting better, although we spell Schwace: SCHWANZ, it still means the same thing for humans. For animals it means their tail, the one that they can waggle by themselves!

  3. Hansi, I thought your perverted lifestyle had caught up with you at last, glad to see it was another type of ‘award’.


    • An Internet award is as perverted as I want to get at this stage in the game. But there’s always room for a little more naughtiness.

  4. sorry it’s taken me some time to land here on this award winning std site, you are of course another traveller in the world of online silliness and rude stuff. we are two stand up to pee guys .. great stuff as always – cheers 🙂

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