mind expanding nonsense


OK…A little update regarding Hansi and Work. If you are not an avid reader of this Blog. Or, (being far superior, exceeding goals, and preforming at 110%) You are an avid reader that only sometimes actually remembers what they’ve read here, Let me refresh your memory. After a thirty year career in Corrections, I came out of retirement, yet again and went back to the House of Pain to fight crime.

So…”Where are all the cool “war stories” about how exciting it is being a crime fighter. “The ones were ya nail the Bad Guys; hold em accountable and hook em up?” “And all the ‘special’ effects you gonna provide?”

Well. The best I can do is tell ya that someone brought in donuts Wednesday!!

Work is drudgery. Maybe that’s why they call it Work and not Play. And after Working a grueling 16 hours this past week, (I know…I’m a whimp) I’m ready to Play. In fact, I’m Playing as we speak [ more correctly, I was playing while I wrote this piece, and may be at work now, and not playing, while you read this piece.  Once in Corrections, always in Corrections, that’s why I had to make that correction cause all I do all day is correct people, hence the name Corrections Officer, rather than Suggestions Officer….I’m only playing with ya.]

Work sucks the creative juices right out of you. And having to be at Work at 7:30 am.,  I don’t have time to suck any creative juices into me. That’s why I’ve been digging stuff out of the Archives and recycling it, in a thinly disguised veil, in order to have something to post.

War Story: At Work, here’s what I do all day (four hours). I close out old expired DUI probation cases. I just look up their fine balance; check the court docket to see if any subsequent probation violations were sustained, that would delay said expiration; and see if they’ve completed Alcohol School. Having”monitored” this person’s compliance, I write a chrono entry on the computer [no paper files here] stating such…And bang!  I do it again. [You can already tell the effect its having on me by all he “legalese” written herein]

This function repeated 30 to 40 times, looks something [confidentiality] like this:

CLOSING CHRONO: Case 2007915230: 36 months Formal Probation 3-17-08

Fine paid in full; Alcohol School completed; no VOPs; reported as directed.

Probation expired 3-16-11. Case closed

Yes… Big Brother is watching you! Or at least he is [and his name is Hansi], if you’re on a 3000 person Drunk Driving caseload . Pretty mind numbing…Yes? It requires no judgment whatsoever, just stating facts, preforming a computer function…and do it again. But here’s the even really even better part. Even though I’m at Work, I can also Play. This whoring myself to the Probation Department, allows me to listen to all the blues CD’s I’ve downloaded, while preforming mindless tasks, that require little emotional involvement on my part.  I don’t fuck with  see people.  I’m not really responsible for the entire caseload. And I’m being paid quite handsomely to do it…I’m not a Ho! I’m more of a moderately priced Call-girl 🙂

Well I’ve had some fun Playing today. And whats really a trip is that I’ve been able to switch roles, in an Orwellian way, so instead of me monitoring you, you get to monitor me. Frightful.  So….How am I doing?

Disclaimer: This Hansi guy is a fictional character, any resemblance to other persons employed as probation officers, both living and dead, is a sure coincidence.  A “real’ probation department would never employ a fool like Hansi…Would they??


Comments on: "WORK" (13)

  1. Hansi,
    I’d say you are doing pretty good for a government worker. i suspect that you are being surprisingly modest. After all, if you were employed for 30 years, you must be good or else they would have fired your ass. Certainly no reason to put down your return to being a useful member of society instead of a blood-sucking leach of the public employee retirement system.
    What the world needs these days is more moderately priced call girls.

    • Sorry Ralph, but I must Correct you! Not only am I a blood sucking leach on a public employee retirement system, but I’m also slurping down Social Security, and am Thirdly (as in triple dipping) enjoying a County chaser with all these lush and rich (Not) benefits. How sweet it is….Thank you taxpayers 🙂

  2. Hansi,
    Some people are just beyond help.

  3. Ah you’ve got to love the public service don’t you. I think that if they allowed internet access at my work, it perhaps wouldn’t be SOOOO bad. But the fuckers don’t trust us or something. Ironic isn’t is??

    • The current assumption is: All government workers are like little children, who if not constantly micro managed, will just run off and play. Hey….that sounds good to me.

  4. Snoring Dog Studio said:

    Love that illustration at the top! Excellent! I’m in public service, too. I rarely play at work. I’m too busy trying to keep from being dragged into the swirling, sucking eddy of despair that is my department.

    • That drawing was done in late 1969 just after college graduation, while looking into joining the labor force. Scary! Anyway, what’s it like being a Despair Officer? BTW that guy “eddy” must be a pretty popular guy in your department, surely he knows how to Play 🙂

  5. lmao – you know Hansi…it’s no wonder you look for the scary in my pictures! It’s a need to add a different spice to your already overly exciting and well paid life. =)

    • My life was so exciting this morning I had to take a nap. It’s the medication that makes me look for the scary. It also gives me an irresistible craving for sweets too.

  6. public servants should not be public, but they sure should shovel service ..:)

  7. geezerpussrex said:

    I come off a cyber space hiatus, with a new flat-screen 20′ LED monitor to replace the dead one, and find out that A.}Donald Trump won’t be the next president because it would cost him the “Celebrity Apprentice” gig. B.} Osama Bin Laden is still dead. C.} You’re back at the public trough, making money hand and foot by radiating what little gray matter you have left. If trout could vocalize, the melodic ripple of the geezer creeks would be drowned out with laughter. I’m in tears and Toar, having heard the news, refuses to exit the bathroom. Boo hoo!

    • Well Geezerpuss, Ya got to get it while the gettin’ is good. Kinda like fishin’ them creeks just after they planted.

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